Dennis Kucinich just set himself on fire to protest the Iraq war! Seriously! Turn on the Democratic Debate right now! He’s still rolling around screaming!
Archive of entries posted on 30th October 2007
Ronin Profile: joby10095
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Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s joby10095.
What’s the story behind your name? I moved to a new school in the end of 8th grade, and was named Joe, my last name starts with B. There was already a Joe in the group of friends I made, so they started calling me Joby to differentiate. Then, in 1994, my dad got AOL 1.5, and, I made a screen name joby10095. Ever since then, I have been too lazy to change it.
Where do you live? I currently live in the VERY small town of Black River, New York. 30 miles from the Canadian border, and right outside Fort Drum, home of the 10th Mountain Division
How old are you? 28
Tell us briefly about yourself. Grew up an Army Brat, my father was an infantryman who moved us all over the country, he won the Bronze Star in the Persian Gulf before he retired. Then, to his everlasting disgust his only son graduated and 3 days later left for Parris Island to become one of Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children. I spent 5 years traveling the world on Uncle’s dime, visiting fun and exotic places where people ran around with guns trying to kill each other, and the rest of us. I then decided to forgo a trip to Afghanistan so that I could go to college and become an officer, so I could lead even more Marines than I did before. This turned out to be a bad call and a good call, because two months after I got there, I got into a car accident that wrecked my back and got me medically retired. The good part was that I met a beautiful, smart, talented and amazing girl, who was also trying to get a commission. She succeeded, and is now an officer in the United States Army, and I am now an Army dependent for the second time in my life. My wife is now in Iraq, 6 months into a 15 month deployment. I work part time at a local library. Funny how things work out, huh? So now I work part time, and hang out at home with our deaf albino cat, who is secretly the spawn of Satan.
How long have you been reading IMAO? Since Monday, September 30, 2002. I was pissed off at some hippies at the college I was attending, and I was googling, and discovered a blog that had the heading “Everytime Someone Punches a Hippie, Baby Jesus Smiles”, and I knew I had found someplace great, and I have been reading ever since.
[Wow. How many here can claim to have been reading this site longer than that (i.e., how many of you remember the original blog on blogspot)? -Ed.]
What’s your favorite IMAO post? Well, obviously, Buck the Marine
If you were to describe IMAO in three words, what would those be? Out – Freaking – Standing.
What’s your favorite political issue? Right now, it is dirty hippie pricks who trash the soldiers that are serving overseas, mainly because my wife is there right now. My other big problem is border security. We need to keep our borders shut to ILLEGAL immigrants, particularly those who don’t plan on assimilating into American culture, but instead want to keep their own. Amazing how much “Mexican Pride” a lot of these people have, considering that they DON’T WANT TO STAY IN MEXICO.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. I was a Government and Political Affairs major in college, and before that I was a low browed Jarhead. I’m lucky I know how to turn the computer ON.
What’s government best at solving? Ummmmm……..
well, give it a while, I might come up with something. I guess maybe blowing things up, but probably because they won’t let private citizens own heavy weapons and explosives, so that isn’t really fair. I’m sure I would be much better at it.
If you commented in the last post asking for participants, you’re still in the running. Thanks to everyone who has participated thus far; just because you may not think you’re interesting doesn’t mean we won’t enjoy your story.
Project Valour IT
I’d like to take a moment and officially say – GO ARMY!
What’s all this about?
See, normally IMAO readers are pretty useless.
They sit around all day waiting for us to make with the funny.
Then they read the funny and go, “HUh?”
Then they sit some more and drink beer. Even at 9 in the morning. Heck they’re not going to work.
Then they scratch their fat butts.
(Frank J. interrupts.
Frank J: “Stop insulting my readers!”
Ducky: “Wait, wait. I’m going somewhere with this.”
FrankJ. “Well, hurry up. They’re not going to sit around on their fat butts all day while you get to the point.” )
Well, America is a great nation because our people are good. Sure we have our differences, but one thing that we do have in common is that we care about doing what’s right. The big disagreement of course is usually about what is right and wrong and best or worst. Or shorter or taller, Or …
(Frank J. Interrupts: You’re rambling again.”
Ducky: “Sorry.”)
But we all love our troops. And whether you want them to stay or come home I think we can all agree that the ones who have come home, and have come home HURT, need all the help they can get. That’s the least we can do for them.
So go to their site, read what they’re all about, and give. Give big.
Give Big or God Won’t Love you.
(SarahK Interrupts: “Hey, that’s not true.”
Ducky: “Yes. Yes, it is.”)
Please visit the folks at Project Valour IT.
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Although researchers doing DNA testing on John Edwards did NOT detect the gene responsible for homosexuality, they DID discover that his mitochondria are comprised entirely of microscopic cans of Aquanet.
Bonus Fact from Jim:
John Edwards feels that he is uniquely qualified to deal with health care because he’s watched almost every episode of “General Hospital”
lolterizt! Part 21
Once again, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.
From badmartin:
Two from Alan ABQ:
Three from Erik Wit:
PRODUCTION NOTE: When creating lolterizt! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.
Send your submissions to lolterizt-at-gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.
The Social Conservative Case for Rudy Giuliani
Rudy Giuliani was a great leader for New York City and I’m sure he’d kill tons of terrorists as leader of the U.S., but a lot of his record is a hard sell to social conservatives. Still, his campaign is trying to prove he’s just as acceptable a candidate to social conservatives as the other leading Republicans.
THE SOCIAL CONSERVATIVE CASE FOR RUDY GIULIANI
* Giuliani has never gay married.
* Despite people claiming he’s hostile to social conservatives, Giuliani has never (directly) killed one.
* He’s promised to appoint Supreme Court Justices like Roberts and Alito and to stop greedily rubbing his hands together and asking, “You wanna abort that baby?” every time he sees a pregnant woman.
* In a display of family values, he won’t have a public mistress for at least the first term.
* While not as religious as some other candidates, God has never felt the need to smite him.
* Giuliani will only gun grab to admire the gun and promises to hand it back afterwards.
* He will continue to beat to death drug dealers with a tire iron as always.
Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths
Project Valour-IT 2007 Fundraising Competition
It’s time once again to prove which is the best branch of the military by seeing who can first reach their fundraising goal for Project Valour-IT who supplies voice activated laptops for injured troops. I’m pretty sure the Marines are the best branch (despite having my idiot brother an officer) so I’m supporting them.
The Marines are the best because their specialty is just killing evil foreigners. They’ll go by land, by sea, or by air to kill whoever is in need of a killing. One day they expect to kill people in space (when there are more foreigners there). The Marines slogan is “Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow will keep us from hunting you down, bitch.” They’re that dedicated to the important cause of less foreigners.
So please donate. There could be an injured troops right now who can’t access IMAO. That is wrong.