In the beginning, the earth was without form. So God sent in the Marines to kick it around and get some order. God then realized that the Marines would need something to kill, so he created life.
About everything you enjoy in life is only here because the Marines killed the right people. Thus, show your support to them by donating to Valour-IT in the name of the Marines and help them beat the other branches to their goal. You’ll help wounded troops get voice-activated laptops and prove once and for all which branch of the military is the best (it’s the Marines).
Semper Fi
And then G-d did send forth a Mighty Contingent through his blessed disciple Thomas Jefferson to Smite the Barbary Dogs of Tripoli.
Smite they did, and Been doing ever since. USMC, killing foreigners so that you don’t have to.
Semper Fidelis, Birthday coming up…….
Wollf
Hey. Didn’t you serve on the (second) Enterprise? Wouldn’t that be Navy? I know the real Enterprise was. Or is Navy not in this fight?
And considering their next Commander In Chief to be Hillary Rodham Clinton the Marine doth weep…
God being the Army, of course.
By the way, the marine family who sued that church full of pricks who protest our fallen hero’s funerals has won! I hope they take every last dime that these cretins have! I’m a Christian and these people are lower than slime!!!
I am in the Navy and I like the way Marines do business. I would have selected that service if I didn’t have to shave and shine my shoes every day.
The full quote:
THE Marine Corps Version of Genesis 1
In the beginning was the word, and the word was God.
In the beginning was God, and all else was darkness and void, and without form. So God created the heavens and the Earth. He created the sun, and the moon, and the stars, so that light might pierce the darkness. The Earth, God divided between the land and the sea, and these he filled with many assorted creatures.
And the dark, salty, slimy creatures that inhabited the murky depths of the oceans, God called sailors. And He dressed them accordingly. They had little trousers that looked like bells at the bottom. And their shirts had cute little flaps on them to hide the hickeys on their necks. He also gave them long sideburns and shabby looking beards. God nicknamed them “squids” and banished them to a lifetime at sea, so that normal folks would not have to associate with them. To further identify these unloved creatures, He called them “petty” and “commodore” instead of titles worthy of red-blooded men.
And the flaky creatures of the land, God called soldiers. And with a twinkle in His eye, and a sense of humor that only He could have, God made their trousers too short and their covers too large. He also made their pockets oversized, so that they may warm their hands. And to adorn their uniforms, God gave them badges in quantities that only a dime store owner could appreciate. And He gave them emblems and crests… and all sorts of shiny things that glittered…and devices that dangled. (When you are God you tend to get carried away.)
On the 6th day, He thought about creating some air creatures for which he designed a Greyhound bus driver’s uniform, especially for Air Force flyboys. But He discarded the idea during the first week, and it was not until years later that some apostles resurrected this theme and established what we now know as the “Wild-Blue-Yonder Wonders.”
And on the 7th day, as you know, God rested.
But on the 8th day, at 0730, God looked down upon the earth and was not happy. No, God was not happy! So He thought about His labors, and in His divine wisdom God created a divine creature. And this He called Marine. And these Marines, who God had created in His own image, were to be of the air, and of the land, and of the sea. And these He gave many wonderful uniforms. Some were green; some were blue with red trim. And in the early days, some were even a beautiful tan. He gave them practical fighting uniforms, so that they could wage war against the forces of Satan and evil. He gave them service uniforms for their daily work and training. And He gave them evening and dress uniforms… sharp and stylish, handsome things… so that they might promenade with their ladies on Saturday night and impress the hell out of everybody! He even gave them swords, so that people who were not impressed could be dealt with accordingly. And at the end of the 8th day, God looked down upon the earth and saw that it was good. But was God happy? No! God was still not happy! Because in the course of His labors, He had forgotten one thing: He did not have a Marine uniform for himself. He thought about it, and thought about it, and finally God satisfied Himself in knowing that, well… not everybody can be a Marine!