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  1. FRANK J. FLEMING!!!!!! GET IN LINE NOW, YOU FUCING CONSERVATIVE BASTARD! WHEN I GET THE FUCING FAIRNESS DOCTRINE PASSED YOU’LL BE THE FIRST TO FUCING GO!!!! KISS MY FUCING BALLS YOU FUC*ING CONSERVATIVE!!!!

  2. Frank, I bet it takes you about 2 years to get so tired of Mormons from living there in the land of Moroni that you would have regretted a Romney victory anyway. Besides, he may have condemned us all to the “outer darkness” anyway.

  3. JoeB131, I know what you are. Just because you left the church, doesn’t mean you have to mock it. I left it too, but I’d much rather mock you. You’re an idiot. Or, if you prefer – Tu eres idiota. ve te a la chingada.

  4. #13 – Posted by: Jimmy on February 7, 2008 03:49 PM
    FUCING SHUT UP YOU CONSERVATIVE MOTHERFUCER! VOTE FOR ME OR I’LL SICK MY PALS FROM FUCING MS-13 ON YOU! YOU WOULDN’T WANT THAT, WOULD YOU CONSERVATIVE SHIHEAD?!

  5. #14 – Posted by: fellowexmormon on February 7, 2008 03:52 PM
    You’re assuming too much. Apparently he met a group of Mormons at a camp in 1983 who were mean to him, so now he takes that out on all Mormons.
    No, I’m not making that up.

  6. Frank J, worry not.
    McCain is really a True Conservative who is just acting like a Big Government RINO to get elected. Just like George W. Bush, who we knew was a True Conservative even though he campaigned as a Big Government RINO.
    Oh, wait ….

  7. MasterShake – There have been good democrat party politicians, I am sure Zell Miller and ummm well yess you see. Anyway I am sure you are unfair to Zell with that statement.
    Deep Philosophical question y’all: I get the loathing of McCain, I really do, but why was Mitt “I am proud of the Taxachusetts Healthcare mess” Romney actually any more conservative than McCain? I am pissed off that McCain is the R nominee, but for the life of me I can’t figure out why I should be annoyed that Romney will not be the nominee.
    Seriously, other than the fact that Romney does not act like he ENJOYS peeing on conservatives and does not have the personality of a rabid wombat if you dare to disagree with him, what does he have to recomend him logically over McCain?
    Other than he is not McCain?

  8. #22 “Dude”-
    Aren’t you just trying to hurt my feelings? Your angry words fill me with awe!
    Sorry if I made light of your condition; I should’ve realized that you weren’t bright enough to infer that “MS” was for Master Shake, not Mentally Stunted.

  9. Dude, you’re the perfect example of the mindlessly crass attitude and thought process that has made this country so vulnerable to the socialistic candidates we have now. Yes, conservatives are a dying breed because most people have forgotten how to work hard, earn what they get (and be content with it), and think for themselves. The government has made sure of it. So congradulations, the socialists have made you their bitch, and what’s more, they tricked you into liking it.

  10. When did Alan become a peg-legged Cripple? Did my absence here require another to fill a quota?
    I’ve never hoped more in my life for a Dhimmicrat top be Pres. Because, whether McStain, Hitlery, or Osama win, this nation is Fizzucked. I’ll be overjoyed to see if with a D by its name and the nation comes running back to the Conservatives to save the day.

  11. Dude’s what’s called a reactionary. He’s a conservative in places where dictators and governments with absolute power over its people are the rule and not the exception. The same places conservatives here are actually radical liberals for believing in personal liberty and the right of people to decide their govermnents. So when he says liberalism is taking over the world, what he really means is that the world is regressing back into feudal society. Some people like that kind of thing, but haven’t figured out they wouldn’t in fact be a part of the new nobility. Sucks to be you, Dude.

  12. It is kinda sad that conservatives have completely abandoned the 08 race, but on the other hand, we are not the only ones screwed.
    Let’s take a look at the dem choices. Obama, naive and stupid; or Clinton, pure lying, scheming evil. The way I see it, Americans as a whole screwed themselves.

  13. you know, there IS one good thing about liberals – liberal chicks are easy. If you just nod and agree with everything they say, it’s like going to heaven and meeting your 72 virgins…except instead of virgins you get chicks that actually KNOW what they’re doing…cause when it comes right down to it…virgins aren’t nearly as much fun as the terrorist recruiter would have you believe.
    Is it lying? no more so than “of course I’ll call you” or “yes, I’ll respect you afterwards”.
    Hey, it’s something, right? when life gives you lemons, cook a lobster.

  14. So, it’s being reported on a Seattle radio station that the reason McCain got as much cheering as he did at CPAC is that two busloads of McCain supporters were allowed in the room before a long line of others. Typical. Boos and cheers in the videos. I say BOO. Sorry folks, I can’t get past the guy (upchuck)… can’t support him (cough, sputum)… I’m not a “Republican” any more.

  15. I am still a republican. There are evil candidates for the house and senate that must be defeated, and there are good republicans running against them. That is where the effort I would have spent on the presidential campaign will now go.
    BTW, I figured out joeblowhard0. He is obviously a practitioner of marxist dialectics, which Alexander Solzhenitsyn described by quoting a Russian proverb: no matter which way you point the wagon tongue, that’s the way the wagon goes!

  16. Arise, you prisoners of starvation!
    Arise, you wretched of the earth!
    For justice thunders condemnation:
    A better world’s in birth!
    No more tradition’s chains shall bind us,
    Arise you slaves, no more in thrall!
    The earth shall rise on new foundations:
    We have been nought, we shall be all! ‘Tis the final conflict, Let each stand in his place. The international soviet Shall be the human race’Tis the final conflict,
    Let each stand in his place.
    The international working class
    Shall be the human race
    We want no condescending saviors
    To rule us from their judgment hall,
    We workers ask not for their favors
    Let us consult for all:
    To make the thief disgorge his booty
    To free the spirit from its cell,
    We must ourselves decide our duty,
    We must decide, and do it well.
    ‘Tis the final conflict,
    Let each stand in his place.
    The international soviet
    Shall be the human race
    ‘Tis the final conflict,
    Let each stand in his place.
    The international working class
    Shall be the human race
    Remember the spirit of Red October!

  17. Seriously, what is wrong with you so-called conservatives? There is nothing wrong with Latin people. Hell, I should know. I’m doing Salma Hayek every night. That’s right, she hates bigots like you. Salma loves open-minded people like me.

  18. //What are you talking about? McCain IS a REAL consevative. Stop being so depressed. Why would you want to vote for Romney and his magic mormon underwear anyway.
    #1 – Posted by: JoeB131 on February 7, 2008 03:21 PM//
    You know I don’t even know why I’m surprised. I’m not sure exactly what I thought would happen, maybe someone would say that unlike the two losers left, Mr Romney put the good of the country and his party before his personal ambition. That the only person really qualified for the job of Chief Executive, the ONLY candidate who has any experience in running a real, honest to goodness business as well as a real honest of badness state, has kissed us all off.
    Gee why would that be? Could it be that besides the damage this negative and disgusting campaign has done, Romney finally got the drift. He couldn’t win, the LIAR and the BIGOT, were going to make sure of that. Neither one could win by themselves so they joined forces. Good luck with that. I wouldn’t vote for either of them if Lucifer himself were running against them. The only way I’d vote for either of these blivets is if the Savior himself came done and ordered me to, and then I’d have to go home and shower for days.
    Here’s a tip for you McCainites. TALK IS CHEAP. Your little man can talk until he’s blue in the face but many of us won’t believe a word he says. He’s already shown his true colors and they are Democrat blue. I guess we’ll all see how well that works for you.

  19. #56 – Posted by: seanmahair on February 7, 2008 09:53 PM
    GRRRR! FUC* YOU! FUC* YOU! YOU’LL BE THE FIRST TO BE BUTT-RAPED! Well, no, first spot’s reserved for that motherfuc*ing Limbaugh bastard.

  20. Yeah, seanmahair, Mitt was investing his OWN money in us! Talk about entrepreneurship. Imagine having that kind of money and spending it a Presidential campaign. Why would he do that? There’d be no “monetary return on his investment.” I think we know. His speech said it all.

  21. Perhaps its time for the millions (?) of independents and conservatives who are now divorcing themselves from the BOTH parties to be heard. There are about as many Democrats fed-up with Clintonian and Obamaian socialism as there are Conservatives fed-up with the Republican Party. Those old-fashioned Dem’s have nowhere to go either.

  22. I know you conservatives are probably feeling like huge losers right now with both Fred and Mitt doing just terrible in the elections. It’s been a very embarrassing 2008 for conservatives as they have seen there is only about 10-15% support for them and that’s just Republicans. But do not worry. It’s going to be ok!! Well, as long as Obama isn’t president and the Obama cult full of far lefties takes over of the USA. That would be really worrisome 🙁

  23. No, Nate, I rather think that “feeling like huge losers” is something that your generation would do or feel. You have a history here already of confusing “feelings” with “cognition.” But perhaps if you stay around long enough, you might learn the difference and also appreciate the art of rendering both of them into humor. Do me a huge favor, eh, chap? Don’t reply to this.

  24. Fellas, fellas – this is yesterday’s fight. McCain’s our guy, and we’ve gotta play the hand we’re dealt.
    All of our efforts should now be concentrated on ensuring that the Dems have a primary that is as long, costly, and ugly as possible – with Hillary the eventual nominee.
    With her win, hopefully the blacks get pissed off and stay home. And given the fact that her whole campaign has been about experience, what the hell is she going to say to McCain?
    However, if Obama wins, I think we are truly and seriously screwed…

  25. #64 – Posted by: bunkerboy on February 7, 2008 11:17 PM
    McCain feels inevitable to me now… I wonder if even the Messiah could stop him.. But yah, we’ll get over it eventually… If my senators can support him, I can.

  26. McCain feels inevitable to me now… I wonder if even the Messiah could stop him.. But yah, we’ll get over it eventually… If my senators can support him, I can.
    You do not understand anything. The Messiah will crush him. Obama is a cult with growing and mounting supporters. Only Hillary can stop him. The insane Obama cult would roll over like McCain like he wasn’t even there. These people are in love with Obama. Just look at some of the words Obama uses in his speech – it’s all about nothing. He is preaching not campaigning. The fascistic Obama movement is all about Obama. It is much scarier than anything we have ever seen in our country. Start reading articles about Obama immediately so that you understand why he must be stopped!

  27. #64 – We lived through Carter, we lived through Clinton. I’m pretty sure we can handle Obama or even Shillary. There’s worse fates. Like nothing but Democrats posing as Republicans for the rest of our lifetimes. That would be worse, IMO.

  28. We lived through Carter, we lived through Clinton. I’m pretty sure we can handle Obama or even Shillary.
    No. There would be nothing worse than Obama. Obama is a movement not a leader. He is running to “change the entire world.” His followers are addicted to him like crack. They make Ron Paul supporters seem calm and rational. If he was president these people would probably do anything Obama told them to.

  29. #64 – Posted by: bunkerboy on February 7, 2008 11:17 PM
    #65 – Posted by: AR on February 7, 2008 11:32 PM
    Yes, yes. Feel the dark side embrace you. Feels warm, doesn’t it? I am inevitable. I’ll butt-rape you last. Wait, hold on a second. Feingold, is that you knocking? You and Feinstein both? Allright let’s get this fuc*ing legislation kicking!

  30. Seeing as how Democrats have gradually taken over the Repukelican Party, I think I’ll change parties and become a Democrat. Hell, we need to go straight to the source for this stuff, anyway. It’s the future! McCain is only a half-baked socialist. Even Hillory is now rather bland. Bring on The Savior! Give me Obama or give me a… Obama! Give me… that beautiful, half-black, half-white man of chocolate CHANGE. I need him. I want him. Bring him closer so that I might JOIN with him. I need my chocolate!
    And get that old, stinky geezer McCain out of here!

  31. #66 – Posted by: Nate on February 7, 2008 11:43 PM
    Dude, you do know you sound like teh crazy.
    #70 – Posted by: John McCain on February 7, 2008 11:47 PM
    Coburn implicitly promised to protect me, so go screw yourself!
    Runs to hide behind Senator Coburn

  32. sheesh, McCain is a freaking conservative. plus, he’s only gonna last one term so the “downfall” of the Republicans won’t last long. He’s too old to have two terms. He’s like freaking 70.
    But like other people said, a bad Republican is better than a good democrat, and seeing as McCain is a good Republican, he’ll be like 100 times better than a good democrat.

  33. Actually, for the record, this is the first real post I’ve made in this thread. While I enjoy the fact I’ve driven some of you over the edge, let’s get serious here.
    Mitt Romney was not a conservative, never was, was openly lying to you to convince you that he was. Just look at his record as Governor of Massachusetts, and if you can find anything “conservative” there, I would be damned impressed.
    Yeah, I didn’t like him because of the goofy cult he belonged to, but even if he were Catholic, he’s still a Massachusetts liberal masquarading as a conservative.
    I think a lot of you let your disappointment at Fred’s failure blind you to this truth.
    On top of that, he was unelectable. I’ll post these poll numbers AGAIN from RealClearPolitics.com.
    http://www.realclearpolitics.com/epolls/2008/president/national.html
    He loses to Hillary and Obama by double digits, while McCain runs about even with them.
    I guess you want conservatives to be these guys.
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=KAGxGp1Bjgs&feature=related

  34. #56- Hey, Sean, there’s nothing wrong with you that a little deprogramming won’t fix. We’ll send the cult awareness network around shortly.
    Hey you know what the difference between Joseph Smith and David Koresh is? Original and Extra-Crispy!
    Seriously, you take the Branch Davidians or People’s Temple, add 150 years, and you’ve got Mormons.

  35. Biggots!!!! Illegal immigration never hurt anybody. Well, maybe Luis Aguilar’s family would say different, but that guy in the Hummer probably just wanted a job picking grapes. I stand by my position. Oh yeah, MAGIC UNDERPANTS. (Sob)….my daddy never hugged me.

  36. //GRRRR! FUC* YOU! FUC* YOU! YOU’LL BE THE FIRST TO BE BUTT-RAPED! Well, no, first spot’s reserved for that motherfuc*ing Limbaugh bastard.//
    #58 – Posted by: John McCain on February 7, 2008 10:06 PM
    Nice do you actually eat with that mouth. I bet your parents are so proud.
    //#82- Snooch, obviously, you’ve never heard of the Mountain Meadows Massacre (Sept. 11, 1857) where Mormons under the command of Bishop John Dee murdered 120 pioneers = men, women and children.
    #85 – Posted by: JoeB131 on February 8, 2008 08:28 AM//
    Ever heard of Haun’s Mill, Navoo Illinois, Council Bluffs, Carhtage Jail Illinois, the Extermination order in Missouri and those are just a few. Hard to believe people who were marked for extermination would seek to defend themselves or be paranoid about strangers in their area. I know that if I knew you were in my neighborhood I’d seek somekind of protection. Of course the Mormons couldn’t depend on the government, they’d already murdered their leader, taken their property and thrown them out into the ice and snow.
    Thanks for the opportunity, I appreciate it.

  37. 87#- So, uh, Sean, who were the children in the Francher Party a threat to? I mean, besides the fact they could identify the folks who murdered their parents?
    The fact is that the Mormons were attempting to form their own country and ignoring the laws. And at the end of the day, when the real army arrived, Brigham Young just gave up without a fight.

  38. Half the posts attributed to me aren’t mine.
    The hate is that we have a bunch of self-deluded so-called conservatives who want to drum people out of the party because they don’t measure up to their status of “pure” conservatives. Except most of them have definitions of “conservatism” that are pretty ugly.
    KT had it right. These people are seeing in Mitt what the want to see, not what was really there. I have no delusions on a lot of issues that McCain is going to disappoint me, but he’s still far better than the alternative.

  39. So Joe who were the fathers and sons at Haun’s mill a threat to?
    So Joe how was Joseph Smith and the three other UNARMED men locked in a cell a threat to anyone?
    200 masked men attacked that cell and shot three men killing two. An Extermination order was in place until 1974 in Missouri, allowing at will the extermination (murder) of Mormons. Amazing for a country that prides itself for being founded by people fleeing religious persecution. Don’t tell me my history, I am neither ignorant nor brainwashed (actually I hold a BA in History and not from a church school, by the way, as well as being a convert). I realize that the same sort of people who threw women and children, the old, sick and infirm out into the February snow to cross an ice covered river are still alive today.
    Be proud Joe, you and your ilk would have been leading the charge.
    Unlike many we have a standard that tells us to obey the laws of the land, yes even the laws that never applied to protect us.
    By the by, the massacre was a terrible thing that should never have happened. I imagine that many who were there spent the rest of their lives trying to live with what happened. It was however an isolated incident, which the church was not responsible for. No one in authority gave the order to do such a thing, nor would they. Unlike the murders of the church’s founder and his brother, which the state and federal government officials claimed with pride for years. Not to mention the murders and maiming of missionaries over the years.
    If you’re looking for perfect people don’t look to our church, we’re painfully aware of our shortcomings. Don’t look in the mirror either. I don’t know what religion you claim or if you are simply God-less, but I will pray for you and yours. I feel sorry for you, nobody should be that angry or unhappy.
    Finally, to the relief of all those who come here for “hte funny,” I’m done. Reading or responding, I just don’t have the heart for it anymore.

  40. Actually, John Dee, who was the only guy held accountable, was a Bishop in your church. I think that counts for “authority”. There’s also quite a lot of evidence that Brigham Young gave the order.
    Yes, there was prejudice in IL and MO in the 1830s, but a lot of it was due to the Mormon’s own practices. If you know your history, you’d know the Republican Party first platform was to “eliminate those two barbaric practices, Slavery and Polygamy.” Guess who the second part of that was directed towards? The Missouri “extermination order” (which resulted in less than a handful of deaths.) was because the Mormons were trying to seize power. Same thing with Navou.

  41. JoeB131: More Hate? Stop with the skewed history lesson. You anti-Mormon haters keep rehearsing your version of the same 5 stories over and over and over and over and over. Its like you’re obsessed. Why do you insist that the bad actions of a few within a religion should condemn the whole religion. With your logic, those molesting Priests should make the Catholic Church as invalid as the Mormon Church. I honestly don’t get what the thrill is for you in bashing Mormons. You do it like some masterbatory delight. Its a bit sick.

  42. Wow. I thought I had a bad attitude (at lest as defined by the liberal elite and, hence, my screename), but the last 30 or 40 posts are just plain old mean and unnecessary. Can we get back to satirizing liberal hypocrisy and lamenting the fact that Fred was too busy tagging his hot wife to campaign (hey, I gotta admire him for that)like he meant it?

  43. Actually, I’ve been just as critical of the Catholic Church for how it handled that issue. I’m Catholic, and have no problem criticizing my own church for its faults.
    I’ve actually avoided bringing up MM until now, because I know it sends Mormons straight up the flue. But someone said we shouldn’t dare compare the Mormons to the Davidians, when really, they were kind of the same, a bunch of nutbags writing up their own bible so that a few leaders can lead lives of excess, and backing up their nuttiness with violence. Thankfully, there won’t be any Davidians in 150 years to put on the dumb smiley-face LDS puts on now.
    It would be impolite to point it out, but one of those polygamists was Mitt Romney’s great-great-Grandfather, who had five wives. So it’s not just that he’s a member of the cult, he’s part of the patriarchy that runs it.

  44. 101- Wow, Rightjabs, it must be horrible for you that the GOP is filled with Crazy Kos Kids.
    Actually, I think nuts on the right are just as bad as nuts on the left. Wingnuts and Moonbats, I have no use for either.

  45. The only thing that exceeds the zealotry of person born and raised in a particular religion, it the zealotry of the “convert”.
    I think Mitt’s decision to “suspend” his campaign was based primarily (although not entirely)on “cost vs. return”. He spent (according to MSM) 40 Mil of his own money on 4 mil votes. I dont believe for a second that any of the big name candidates are running on pure alturistic motives. The other aspect is that Mitt could possibly be making deals to be the VP. An exceedingly important position in this election, as I think its highly unlikely that McCain would survive the entire term. I think the stress of the job would kill him. Mark my words, McCain is going to select a VP that will “balance” his lefty tendancies. (Mr. Obvious says so).

  46. #105- I can’t see Romney being the VP. McCain hates him. Has to do with all the dirty campaigning he did in NH. Also, he doesn’t really need the guy. Seriously, what does Mitt bring to the table? His wopping 250+ Delegates? McCain’s going to rack up the remaining 400 he needs before March 4th.
    I also don’t think the ‘stress” will kill McCain. He might limit himself to one term, though. That means he’ll pick a veep he’d want to groom as an heir apparent.

  47. Sorry, dude, that doesn’t work, either.
    Maybe you can all actually be polite. I came here talking very nicely about why I thought Huckabee wasn’t such a bad guy, and got called all sorts of terrible names. Maybe you want this to be a private little playground, that’s your perogative, but don’t do that to the party.

  48. You could actually try to address a point.
    I’m probably not going to talk about Mitt Romney much after today, since he’s joined Phil Grahmn, Steve Forbes and John Connoley in the club of insincere millionaires who try to buy the GOP nomination.
    I do actually kind of feel bad about hurting Sean’s feelings, though.

  49. GAZE is weak. Just tear him a new a–hole if you don’t agree with him. And by the way, JoeB131’s rant on Mormons is nothing compared to what Lawrence O’Donnell had to say on The McLaughlin Group a few weeks back. Now that I think of it, I haven’t seen O’Donnell on since. Maybe he got GAZED. Either way, I’ll take my holey underwear over magic underwear every time…

  50. #132 – It’s been tried already. The problem is that he 1) ignores the points anyone makes in one post only to bring up his already-refuted arguments all over again in another post, and 2) when it’s clear he’s losing, he simply reverts to ad hominems. The last time I tried, he threw a temper tantrum worthy of a two-year-old and insulted my husband. Classy.
    He’s not interested in honest debate, learning, or even considering opinions other than his own. He only comes here to get warm fuzzies for ‘caring’ more than the proles and to be disagreeable. If he came here simply to honestly debate, well, for one thing, this is a humour site and comments should at least try to bring Teh Funneh. Second, someone in an honest debate would bring adult manners with him. No one coming here with a bad attitude, a Yankee Stadium-sized chip on his shoulder, and a bug up his chimney has realistic expectations when he piles on the insults yet expects everyone else to treat him with dignity and respect. The responses to him have been directly proportional to his attention whoring.
    Hence, the GAZE response. If he’s not going to debate seriously or even act like a grown-up, why should anyone be expected to take him seriously and treat him like a grown-up?

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