Did Barbara Walters just bite the president? She just did it again! She’s a zombie! Get him out of there!!!
Ahh! Someone just threw me through a plate glass window! I didn’t see who, but I have a suspect.
U.S. President goes on day time chat show and is asked about Snooki. Calls black people mongrels. Not the 2010 I expected.
You do have to say that Julian Assange sticks to his principles over all else, like most sociopaths.
You’d think the President calling black people mongrels would be something that happened before Sen. Byrd was born, not after he died.
Oh no! I figured it out! The ghost of Robert Byrd has possessed Obama!
So Tribal Law and Order is not a new spinoff? Because I might have watched that.
Any idea how I can make my cat more badass?
So when do we officially declare that Obama has broke race relations in America?
He couldn’t possibly be more badass. In fact, I heard that Chuck Norris and Fred Thompson have been asking him for badass lessons. He told them both to go jump in a lake. And they did.
Planet of the Apes was on television the other day. I think that Taylor had it made by comparison.
You could train him to kill mice, except……you can’t train cats to do anything. I looked out my window today and saw my neighbor’s cat showing his usual lack of respect for private property and taking a crap in my sweet corn patch. He buried it and ran away. Why would he bury it? Is he ashamed of his stupidity, his lack of cleanliness? Perhaps cats are smarter than we think but unable to act in a proper fashion. Once you get addicted to dirty habits it is hard to break away. Stupid cat.
“So when do we officially declare that Obama has broke race relations in America?”
He might be half black but he is also half cracker.
Because they are so badass!
Yes, look at my neighbor’s cat lie around the house until his owner – who is too lazy to train a dog – gets sick of him, opens the door, and shoos him away. Yes, the majesty of the cat.
Next year, I will grow heavier corn to throw at cats.
Any idea how I can make my cat more badass?
Give it a mohawk. Just shave the cat except for one stripe on top. Instant badass cat.
Free corn at Marko’s house!
“Ahh! Someone just threw me through a plate glass window! I didn’t see who, but I have a suspect.”
You tell us who the rat was and we’ll organize a good old fashioned rowdy mob. Now where did I put my pitchfork and torch?
“Any idea how I can make my cat more badass?”
That’s a cool looking kitty. Looks like my Russian Blue except my cat is all grey, no white patches. However, I don’t think that cats are badass, unless it’s wearing and eye patch and has a cutlass strapped to it’s waist.
“He buried it and ran away. Why would he bury it? Is he ashamed of his stupidity, his lack of cleanliness?”
No, the cat, in it’s wisdom, knows some dog will probably come along and eat it. Then the dog will go lick it’s owner. The cat is displaying care and concern preventing an unsuspecting dog owner from getting his/her face licked by the feces eating dog. Why do dogs eat crap anyway? Even the great German Sheperd I grew up with dined at the turd buffett. Dogs can be pretty stupid that way.
“Ahh! Someone just threw me through a plate glass window! I didn’t see who, but I have a suspect.”
Did you really get thrown through the window, or were you just thrown through the window “rhetorically”? That will be important for the investigators to know, so they can figure out whether they’re looking for someone who’s actually tough or for a whiney, wimpy liberal that just wishes he was tough.
“U.S. President goes on day time chat show and is asked about Snooki. Calls black people mongrels. Not the 2010 I expected.”
At the point where the “president” can’t even tell the truth about something as benign as Snooki, there’s clearly a problem.
http://gawker.com/5599717/obama-flip+flops-does-he-know-who-snooki-is-or-not?skyline=true&s=i
Mister Infidel, my German Shepherd eats her own crap if given the chance out of the kindness of their heart. Afterall, she thinks, what human wants to clean that mess? If you let a dog lick you on the face, it’s really not the dog’s fault, but your fault.
Obama doesn’t compare himself to a cat – mixed breed or otherwise – due to his total lack of basassedness.
Badass cat……Rocket launchers
“Any idea how I can make my cat more badass?”
I don’t know: You could always trade it in for a dog. But, you’ll probably lose your shirt in the transaction, because who in their right mind would get rid of a dog for a cat?
Rename the cat Greebo, it won’t make it as badass as the original Greebo, but automatically makes it 1000000% more badass. Just make sure that the original Greebo doesn’t hear about, or you might not have a cat, house, hand, or head anymore. Greebo is so badass even Cohen the Barbarian would have given it homage.
Bolt on some headers, dual exhaust, extra wide mags with a tubbed out rear end, and toss in a supercharger feeding dual carbs. That oughta make her badass.
I don’t know if it would make the cat more badass, but if you captured a live hippie now and then and locked it in your basement for the cat to stalk and eat, the cat would never have trouble with hairballs because of all the grease from the hippie.
“If you let a dog lick you on the face, it’s really not the dog’s fault, but your fault.”
That’s for sure. I’d see my German Sheperd eat her crap, then I’d forget about it and the next thing I know she’s licking my face, I’m saying “nice doggie” and then it dawns on me, I saw her eat her crap not 10 minutes ago! DOOH! Then she’d go back outside and yuck it up with the 2 dogs next door, pointing at me as they enjoyed a good laugh at my expense by the fence. Man, did I feel dumb!
“Any idea how I can make my cat more badass?”
Two words: Jet Pack
Cats are automatic bad asses! They lounge around and do exactly what they want to do when they want to do it! If ordered to do something, they will do the exact opposite! Unlike wimpy dogs who fetch and do other stuff like the homos that they are; cats are simply giving you the middle finger, all day, 24X7X365!!! It don’t get any more bad ass than that!
There is no way you could keep a cat with a Jet Pack off of the counter tops.
A few modifications: http://i31.servimg.com/u/f31/15/11/76/49/badcat10.png
“I am the Cat who walks by himself and all places are alike to me.”
(Sounds like the cat is snob to be – but maybe in a good way.)
(Whose line is that – for 10 points and a chance for a 5-point bonus question?)
Ussjimmycarter, was that comment written by you, a damn cat, or your master Hillary? I lean towards the latter!
Kipling – poetical, but no one can capture the essential nature of a cat like a fellow cat…
I don’t bother chasin’ mice around
I slink down the alley lookin’ for a fight
Howl into the moonlight on a hot summer night.
Hillary? Ha! No, Marko – never will the cat’s inherent badassery be praised by a dog!
Rand Thoughts:
-The free market like democracy is designed to set the pathological people that exist in every society and will always find away to attain power against each other. Statism and socialism will never work because the pathological all end up on the same side.
-Pretentiousness is the fruit of an identity crisis.
-Look on the bright-side, Obama getting elected and sucking was the only thing that could have killed the mythical Obama messiah of the campaign. Not getting elected would have only made him even larger.
-It has been said that Russians play chess while Americans play monopoly. Maybe, but the babyboomer are playing Jenga. The tower is wobbling and if we dont start replacing blocks someday soon its coming down all at once and probably soon.
-Greed, selfishness, cultural destruction all is like playing jenga with a nation. Does it matter who will be the one pulling out the last piece when it all at once comes tumbling down? The outsourcers on wall street? The amnesty shills? The cultural wrecking crews? The media propagandists? The money printers? The polluters? They are all pulling pieces out of the previous American cultural, economic, and religious structures. Conservatives know we have to start putting pieces back in and fast. Liberals think hey look we pulled out all these other blocks and everything was ok. What you are feeling the last few years is the tower starting to wobble followed by “whew” close one.
-Too many Americans and even our allies are blind to how fragile America is in the short term. BTW I have been saying this same thing since about 2005 so no luck writing me off as a partisan hack. For perspective Bush was driving America down the “Declining Empire highway” …and passed the “get off here and restructure ramp”. Instead of stopping and backing up he set the cruise at about 30mph. That Obama got the wheel and hit up to 90mph did not change our direction only our ETA.
The mph were based proportionally on the Bush 250-550 Billion yearly deficits compared to Obamas 1750+ Billion deficits 2 years in a row.
Since I fail at quoting, I shall just submit this as the way to make a cat badass:
Frickin’ laser beams attached to their frickin’ heads!
It seemed obvious, really.
I have the opposite problem: how to make a cat LESS badass. He gets a dose of Prozac every night. Doesn’t work. Just pi$$es him off.
When he was a kitten we called him “Happy” because it sounded like he was always purring.
Actually, he was quietly growling and we should have named him “Cujo”.
Any idea how I can make my cat more badass?
Eyepatch.
Raised White Letter
TiresTattoos.Teach it how to drive a Ferrari.
(or velcro it to one as an angry hood ornament)
Sine no one is offering any practical solutions for making your cat more bad-ass, let me suggest a facial scar. It’s the easiest solution.
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