So, how many seats do you think Republicans will pick up in the House this November? I’m not trying to get my hopes up and will just predict they’ll get a majority, but I was wondering what everyone else is expecting.

So apparently Jimmy Carter and Ted Kennedy were big rivals. That’s the sort of conflict where you hope sides would lose. And they are both losers, so yay.

I always wondered why we didn’t get government health care back in the pre-Reagan Revolution days when giant new social programs were devastating the country, and I guess it was because of infighting. Carter tried to do a big health care program similar to Obamacare, but Kennedy blocked it because he didn’t want Carter to have a major success. So Kennedy was more concerned with himself and personal grudges than liberal legislation he thought would help the country? Who would have thought that — other than everyone other than brain-dead liberals, I mean?

Now, we have Obama ruining things because he wants some big legislation accomplishment. This obviously wasn’t the time for a health care bill, but what it was time for was some pretty subtle legislation to help the economy that probably wouldn’t have played well in the history books. The best president would be somebody who wouldn’t care if he was immediately forgot the day he left office, but people like that don’t run for office in the first place.

Oh, and bloated, entitled sociopaths who drown women and run away from the scene of the crime also don’t make good politicians.

With this whole Christine O’Donnell thing, there have been a lot of accusations of people being RINOs being thrown about. Even evil Republican schemer Karl Rove is being accused of being a RINO for criticizing O’Donnell.

What I think we need is some definitive test to detect RINOs. RINOs can look just like us most of the time which can make it hard to detect them. What we’ll need is a test designed to provoke emotional responses about freedom, tax cuts, and Reagan, and then we can detect the subtle differences in RINOs in their breathing patterns and how their pupils dilate. So the test will look something like this:

Hopefully RINOs won’t be as violent when discovered (or decide to run as independents), but that’s some of the kinks we’ll have to work out of the system.

Well, howdy!!! Seems the folks over yonder at the DNC, or as they preferred to be called nowadays, “The Circle D” have come up with a fancy new brandin’ logo to paste on all them mindless cattle what like to vote for ’em. Mercy sakes alive, they’s even tellin’ the cattle to pay to brand themselves for ’em! What a riot!

Trouble is tho’, their new logo really ain’t all that fancy at all. In fact, it seems downright bland if you ask me! But, seein’ as how our very own Harvey noticed a certain similarity ‘tween their “fancy” new logo and Sir Thomas Crapper’s great contribution to human civ’lization, I got to thinkin’ maybe they’d like some help mooovin’ that there merchandise they’s a-sellin’, so I whupped up a few bumper stickers fer ’em based on Harvey’s much more eye-pleasin’ redesign! Let me know what y’all think…

Ya know, one thing keeps on a-botherin’ me about that new logo. It seems a might too familiar…

Wait a minute…

Almost there…

That’s it!

I knew I’d seen it somewhere’s before! Them Democrats is as sneaky as rattlesnakes and twice as slipp’ry! Best mind yourselves when wanderin’ near ’em, I always say.

Cross-posted at America is an Obamanation!

Sen. Harry Reid on Delaware’s Democratic Party U.S. Senate candidate Chris Coons, a self-described Marxist:

“I just think the world of him. He’s my pet.”

Well, at least he doesn’t shed.

Cross-posted at America is an Obamanation!

John Holdren, director of the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy, thinks environmentalists should stop talking about “global warming” and instead call it “global climate disruption” — probably because people keep making fun of environmentalists when things don’t get warmer and it’s hurting their feelings. I got an even better vague term, though: Global stuff happening.

“All our activity is causing global stuff happening, and only anti-science troglodytes would claim stuff isn’t happening because Science! can definitively prove that stuff does happen. Just look at these test tubes. There’s stuff happening right there!”

That should help accomplish whatever it it environmentalists are trying to do… though I guess I forget what that is. They don’t want people driving cars or something. But have they thought of making giant robots part of the environmental message? “We need giant robots to combat stuff happening globally!” That’s the sort of message people could really get behind. It could make you rich!

So the Democrats hyped some big announcement to get their base energized, and all it was was a new logo. I thought they were finally going to do something about how much they suck, but I guess that was too hard. And the logo is just a ‘D’ with a circle around, much like you might get drawn at the top of a test you barely didn’t fail. So, in a way, you could look at their logo as being highly ambitious for Democrats.

Will FrankJ live-blog the birth?