So, if you thought the Filner story couldn’t get any worse, it did. So he said he’d only help an injured marine in exchange for a date with a nurse. It’s for stuff like this is why we need to have clauses for when we take a politician outside, seal him up in a metal crate, and throw him in the sea.
Oh, I know some of you bleeding hearts are saying, “You can’t just shove a politician into a metal crate and throw him into the sea; he has rights!” But that’s like saying, “You can’t put a prisoner in solitary confinement; he has rights!” Just like a prisoner gave up rights by committing crimes, politicians give up rights by running for office and self-identifying themselves as sociopaths we need to keep an eye on. And knowing how dangerous politicians can be, we need to have procedures ready for when they become especially loathsome. And that’s why Filner needs to be shoved into a crate with a label on it “Do not open; contents may sexually assault you.” At least that’s what self-respecting citizens would do.
i agree, but have one question. after we throw him in the sea, how will we ever get rid of that nasty ring around the ocean?
“take a politician outside, seal him up in a metal crate, and throw him in the sea” — now THAT’S what I call a solution.
Q: What do you call 250 politicians at the bottom of the sea in metal crates?
A: A good start!
I am all for locking politicians into metal crates but only if they are provided with rabid badgers as company.
Better idea. Put the politician in a room with the people who voted for him. (You broke it, you bought it: it works both ways.)
“Do not open; contents may sexually assault you.”
Best laugh line I have seen in a long time.
Well now, if those gals had been home cooking a good meal for their man, they wouldn’t have been in a position to be harassed. They were asking for it by being in public. Filthner was just doing what come naturally to democrats. Like billy bob clintoon, he was just exercising his right to free speech. You can’t hold that against the little feller, after all it is performance art right? Now tell that nurse no to worry her pretty little head and go make me a sandwich and us men folk sort this out.
/Tony Weiner
How do we handle him? I suggest we don’t; his desire to be handled is what made this mess. I suggest cattle prods and a cliff.
@3 – I’m not a huge fan of rabid badgers, but I’d hate to see one get sexually assaulted on its way to a watery grave.
We could of course, soften our ideals and allow one hole one-half inch in diameter so that the damn thing doesn’t float.
If it’s going into the sea, it should be a metal cage so that the wildlife can be fed. I’m thinking a school of barracuda is adequately equipped to repel unwanted sexual advances. Sadly, sharks would be too large to have a go, but they would probably pick up a meal chowing down on the collected scavengers, anyway. Win-win!
We need to start with the assumption that all politicians deserve to be sealed in a crate and dropped in the ocean, and they should be presented to voters every evening to plead for their lives.
Politician: I cut spending.
Voter: Good work today, sleep well, I’ll probably kill you in the morning.
“You can’t just shove a politician into a metal crate and throw him into the sea; he has rights!”
Sexist! There are plenty of female politicians who should be shoved into metal crates and thrown into the sea. When I lived in California, I had three of them representing me in Washington.
I’m sorry, but I couldn’t make it past the headline ‘How to handle Filner.” I mean, EEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!