Straight Line of the Day: In Virginia, Gun Sales Are Up and Crime Is Down. Liberals Explain This…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

In Virginia, gun sales are up and crime is down. Liberals explain this…

66 Comments

  1. … by claiming that Sequestration caused them to economize on the use of the word “assault”:

    All the crimes that would have been called assaults gave up the term so it could be used to describe the weapons, instead.

  2. In Virginia, gun sales are up and crime is down. Liberals explain this…

    by staring earnestly at their interlocutor and slowly scratching their chin as the begin to make a sound approximating a Kennedy caught with his pants around his ankles, while their eyes slowly start to shift back and forth as they seek the nearest exit.

  3. In Virginia, gun sales are up and crime is down. Liberals explain this…

    …well, they can’t because… a one-a, and a two-a and a three-a

    Gun sales go up, crime goes down
    It’s clearly logical, but still they frown
    Bitchin’ at gun rights, Bitchin’ at gun rights
    When are these liberals gonna see the light.

    They got no facts to ‘splain this trend
    They’re clearly tryin’ the facts to bend
    Bitchin’ at gun rights, bitchin’ at gun rights
    When are these liberals gonna see the light

    Rights, rights, rights, bitchin’ at gun rights
    Rights, rights, rights, bitchin’ at gun rights

    Look at the facts we got today
    All their bitchin’ won’t make them go way
    Bitchin’ at gun rights, bitchin’ at gun rights
    When are these liberals gonna see the light.

    instrumental break

    Rights, rights, rights, bitchin’ at gun rights
    Rights, rights, rights, bitchin’ at gun rights

    Gun sales go up, crime goes down
    It’s clearly logical, but they still frown
    Bitchin’ at gun rights, Bitchin’ at gun rights
    When are these liberals gonna see the light.

    Rights, rights, rights, bitchin’ at gun rights
    Rights, rights, rights, bitchin’ at gun rights

    Rights, rights, rights, bitchin’ at gun rights
    Rights, rights, rights, bitchin’ at gun rights

    Gun Rights
    Gun Rights
    Gun Rights
    … [fade]

  4. In Virginia, gun sales are up and crime is down. Liberals explain this…
    with global warming by making it too hot for criminals to earn a living wage by robbin’ an killin’ us crazy-ass craka’s.

  5. In Virginia, gun sales are up and crime is down. Liberals explain this…

    by pointing to the aggressive Citizens Watch programs in the state where local watchers report on all suspicious activity in their neighborhoods and keep track of strangers in who seem out of place in their community, thus extolling the virtues of grassroot citizen organizations.

  6. walruskkkch @21 could be it and Burt @44 among others would work, but I’m going with:

    good old fashioned smoke and mirrors.

    (And Writer @39 is closer to an *actual* reason than a liberal spin.)

  7. They explain it:
    with hogwash/bs/a load of tripe/stuff and nonsense, pick your simile.
    with preposterous claims such as their social programs made a decreases in crime inevitable and if it wasn’t for the gun sales it would be even lower.
    by calling you names.
    by saying it doesn’t really matter anyway.

  8. …as everybody has spent all of their money on guns so why bother.

    …with proof that we have murdered all of the crime statiticians in their sleep.

    …while Obama was fighting voter ID, we passed stand your ground and dig a shallow grave that will never be found laws.

    …by having to shout over the sound of gunfire, laughter and good natured cries of “Dance, criminal, I said dance”. Bang Bang Bang.

    …with calls for immigration reform because crime is quickly becoming a job Americans just won’t do anymore.

  9. … by saying, “An armed society is a polite society? We always thought that was ‘Unarmed’ society. Guess that serves us right for getting all our quotes from Books On Tape in our Lexus. It also might explain why we always thought he’s Barack-Who’s-Sane Obama!”

  10. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

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