[High Praise! to Liberal Logic 101]
Archive of entries posted on August 2014
What’s He Do With the Other Hand?
A top White House adviser said President Obama shows leadership by being “on the phone relentlessly with European leaders”.
That can’t possibly be true – holding the phone would interfere with his golf swing.
Link of the Day: Satire – Vice President Biden Admits He Occasionally Takes Out Payday Loans
[High Praise! to The Daily Rash]
Vice President Biden Admits He Occasionally Takes Out Payday Loans
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Eye of the Beholder
Just Trying to Help
In Iraq, radical ISIS insurgents are forcing shopkeepers to put veils on their mannequins.
Here’s a better idea: let’s put some missiles on their mullahs.
About that Poodle Picture
Obama’s being roundly mocked – and rightly so – over this picture that was tweeted by Russia’s Deputy Prime Minister:
But it’s even crueler to Obama than you might think.
That picture comes from a photo shoot he did in 2009 in the Winter edition of The American Dog Magazine, wherein he promised to adopt a shelter dog.
He ended up getting a purebred from Ted Kennedy.
Oops. Promise broken.
Oh, and their second dog wasn’t adopted either.
Taking the Cure
[High Praise! to Sheldon Comics]
After a hard week of reading disappointing political headlines, this is about the only thing that can fix me:
Hope everyone has a ba-thoonking good weekend.
Planet Earth – Science Cutely Animated
Safety-science: no pointy corners that could put your eye out:
[Everything You Need to Know About Planet Earth] (Viewer #136,138)
You’re Doing It Wrong
In an effort to grab market share, Lay’s Potato Chips is rolling out odd new flavors like “Cappuccino”.
Guys… that’s NOT what “Irish Coffee” means.
Promoted Comment: Obama’s Rapid Response
Raving Lunatic [High Praise!] responded thusly to yesterday’s Straight Line: “President Obama’s plan to protect America from the deadly ebola virus…”
Staffer: “Pssst, MR. President, what’s the answer?”
O: “Hey, are you blind? I’m putting here. What other President has ever had to put up with this?
Staffer: “But Frank J asked a question. You wouldn’t want to appear unprepared in front of the press.”
O: “Who? Oh wait, that’s the guy who wrote my best biography, right? What was the question?”
Staffer: “What’s your plan to fight Ebola?”
O: “Which group of freedom fighters is that? The one in Africa or um… Atlantis, was it?”
Staffer: “The disease in Africa, sir.”
O: “Oh right, right. Ebola. That’s like chickenpox, right? Just infect everyone now and get it over with. Then everyone will be immune no one will ever catch it again.”
Link of the Day: All Your First-World Problems – SOLVED!
[High Praise! to 22 Words]
23 Ultra-nifty inventions (to solve problems that don’t really exist)
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Wisdom of the Day: Drumming Waiter Money Spider
Sir? the table of hot ladies over there wanted to know what song you were drumming on the bar. they said it seemed very fast and impressive.
— Mike F (@animaldrumss) August 6, 2014
Hey girl, are you a waiter who doesn't write down the order, because you're making me nervous.
— (maura) (@behindyourback) August 6, 2014
Between your money and my ideas for spending your money, there's nothing we can't accomplish together.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) August 7, 2014
My 2 year old daughter thinks spider clowns live in the walls. May be the scariest thing I have ever heard.
— jerry stahl (@somejerrystahl) August 7, 2014
Fake, But Accurate
Out of fear of the NSA spying, sales of old, manual typewriters are surging in Germany.
I bet Dan Rather’s making a killing on eBay.
Obama Warned Us – Long Way
“The bottom line is this: We’ve come a long way these past five and a half years.” – President Obama http://ofa.bo/e0RR #OpportunityForAll
“Not much further to rock-bottom now.”
Straight Line of the Day: A Russian Gang Stole 1.2 Billion Passwords. Turns Out Obama’s Was…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
A Russian gang stole 1.2 billion passwords. Turns out Obama’s was…