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“Nice kitty.”
Bryce kept his distance. “I don’t think it’s a kitty, Tri-Lu.”
The creature cocked its head sideways to get a better look at the three of them. “I don’t know what he is.” Lulu slowly reached towards it. “But I have to call him something, so I’m calling him a kitty.”
Charlene pulled Lulu back. “Let’s not feed the kitty.”
Lulu wasn’t sure if it was a genetically engineered giant lizard or a resurrected dinosaur, but it stood more than fifteen feet tall and had wings for arms. Mounted on its back were some guns and what looked like a rocket launcher. It was unrestrained and seemed unconcerned with all the people moving about the base. “I don’t think it will eat us,” Lulu said. “It’s probably only allowed to eat a special diet of tofu and fresh baby badgers.”
Charlene stared at the creature with a mixture of concern and disgust. “So it will rip us apart with its teeth but not digest us is what you’re saying?”
“I doubt he even has teeth. I’m going to name him Mr. Muffin.” Lulu reached for the lizard again, and the Mr. Muffin opened it mouth revealing inch long blades. Lulu yanked back her hand. “Okay, I guess he does have teeth. Bad Mr. Muffin! You scared me!”
Bryce tried to get a better look of the equipment on Mr. Muffin’s back. “So are people supposed to ride it?”
“It’s idiotic,” Charlene exclaimed, and then backed a few steps away. “There’s no advantage to this over a jet fighter.”
“It’s called style, Char.” Lulu pirouetted. “Everyone else can go around in their boring fighter planes and stupid uniforms while Serpine’s people fly around on giant lizard looking like golden knights.” Lulu loved the uniforms they stole at Stan’s direction. They had normal material underneath, but on top had golden metal plates making it look like they were wearing armor. Plus, her breastplate was molded for her feminine physique. “And isn’t it nice to have a uniform that’s functional while still emphasizing one’s femininity?”
“Mine isn’t emphasizing my femininity.” Bryce looked down at his flat breastplate. “Wish I had metal boobs.”
“So what are you planning on putting in there?” Lulu knocked on Charlene’s chest piece.
She smacked Lulu roughly on the back of the head. “Don’t touch me.”
“Ow! You be nice or I’ll shoot you with my laser gun!” The rifles they got were shiny, smooth, golden things that looked more fancy than the regular cartridge firing rifles they were underneath. Lulu aimed her gun up at an imaginary target. “Pew! Pew!” Lulu noticed the confused looks on her compatriots. “That’s the sound a laser gun makes. You guys should study science more.”
“These guns are idiotic,” Charlene said. “These uniforms are idiotic. The giant lizard weapon is idiotic. Serpine’s whole military is idiotic. She is a nut.”
“She could be worse.” Bryce looked up at the blackness blocking the sky above them that was Loch’s chariot.
There were creatures flying around the craft, and they didn’t seem as nice as Lulu’s new kitty friend. “Yeah, glad he’s on the side we’re pretending to be on.”
“Where are your helmets?”
Lulu turned around to see a six-foot tall woman looking at them scornfully. Her metal uniform covered the important bits and pretty much nothing else. “Um… I guess they’re still back in the truck that we stole the uniforms from.”
“Get ready for the assault or I’ll rip your little head off!” The woman stormed off.
Charlene looked quite stunned. “Did we just get ordered around by a woman in a metal bikini?”
Bryce nodded. “That was awesome.”
“She must be one of the Hollow,” Lulu said. “When your whole body isn’t real, you don’t have to worry about practicality in your outfits. Must be pretty cool.” She turned back to the lizard. “You should have bit the mean woman and defended your mommy, Mr. Muffin!”
Charlene smacked Lulu on the head again. “You aren’t the rocket launching lizard’s mommy. Can we get to this?” She walked off towards a nearby building and Bryce and Lulu followed.
Lulu rubbed the back of her head. “Maybe I should have gotten the helmet.”
“There were stupid looking,” Bryce said.
“They’d be neat if they had horns like a Viking helmet.”
“Will you two shut up?” Charlene approached the door to one of the hangars and looked around briefly to make sure no one was watching them. “After we do this, let’s not ever see each other ever again.”
They entered and inside there were a number of unattended transport vehicles. “These look normal,” Bryce said. “Shouldn’t they be pulled by pegasi or something?”
“You’d think.” Charlene opened the door of one and checked inside. “Serpine’s military is just too idiotic to live. I really hope everyone here gets killed in the attack.”
Bryce checked out the driver seat. “I hope everyone on both sides gets killed.”
“Except for us,” Lulu said. “And Doug.”
“Of course not us or Doug,” Bryce answered. “I like living, and this is all kinda pointless if Doug gets killed.”
“Nothing is pointless if you learn something,” Lulu corrected him.
“So what have you been learning?”
Lulu turned around to see six soldiers entering the hangar. “Hey, guys. We were just checking out the…” She noticed they were all women and had some smug little smiles on their faces. “Oh crap. Not you guys again.”
“Hello, Hellbender,” one of the Amazons said, she having remembered the helmet with her disguise. “Ends up Elza has use for you. You should be honored.”
“And we totally are,” Lulu replied. “It’s just were on a tight schedule right now, so as much as we’d like to help you guys, why don’t we– KILL THEM!” Lulu fired her rifle at the six, but nothing happened. They stood watching in amusement as each trigger pull caused nothing more to happen than a little clicking noise. Lulu saw that Bryce was now beside her, having no more luck with his rifle. Lulu stopped pulling the trigger and took careful aim at one the Amazons. “Pew! Pew!”
Lulu looked behind her to see that Charlene hadn’t even raised her weapon. Instead she stared at Lulu and Bryce with a grave expression. “Um… Char,” Bryce said to her, “we’re having a little weapon trouble. You want to help us out?”
“I… I disarmed them.” Charlene moved away from them.
Lulu looked again to the smiles of their enemies and back to Charlene. “What’s going on?”
Charlene slowly walked over to stand with the Amazons. “I’m sorry, guys, but things have gotten bigger than the four of us.”
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