Straight Line of the Day: Have You Heard About the New Obama Flu That’s Going Around?

Posted on January 16, 2013 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Have you heard about the new Obama Flu that’s going around?

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

58 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: Have You Heard About the New Obama Flu That’s Going Around?”

  1. rodney dill says:

    The second bout of it you get lasts the same as the first bout…. 4 years.

  2. Apostic says:

    … It sounds like you’re saying his name when you ralph into the toilet.

  3. gsmtiger says:

    I heard you can get it from eating dogs.

  4. Son of Bob says:

    It was brought in from another country, no one knows anything about it, and even though it was only supposed to affect the middle class it’s killing everyone.

  5. rodney dill says:

    @Apostic – “BARRRACKKKK BARRRAUGHKKKK!”
    Yep, that’s about right.

  6. rodney dill says:

    Just when you think you’re feeling better you find your wallet’s missing.

  7. srm000 says:

    . . .It gives you ADD, Appalling Deficit Disorder.

  8. g says:

    … Of course not, and the death panels will ensure that it stays that way.

  9. PeteSF says:

    … It’s really hard on your constitution.

  10. Conservatarian says:

    Once one catches it, it becomes hereditary, and it’s debilitating effects will be passed on for countless generations

  11. Son of Bob says:

    …no, CNN, MSNBC, the major networks and the New York Times haven’t mentioned it.

  12. blarg says:

    …everyone is required to get it

    …apparently, Romney gave it him because 10 years ago, Romney worked for a company that did some financing for Baskin Robins.

    …symptoms include uncontrollable spending, irrational decision-making, delusions of grandeur, and a complete inability to comprehend founding documents of coutries.

    …it’s racist

  13. blarg says:

    …it’s spread by the “D” button in voting booths

  14. Jimmy says:

    The vaccination for it gives you a Boehner.

  15. blarg says:

    …that’s not a flu, that’s just slick marketing of Socialism going viral

  16. Jimmy says:

    …and the Boehner lasts two years or until it’s cut off.

  17. blarg says:

    …according to Obamacare it’s defined as a flu, but in reality, it’s a cancer.

  18. gsmtiger says:

    It’s Bush’s fault.

  19. gsmtiger says:

    It was started by executive order.

  20. blarg says:

    …it causes your taxes to go up, your savings to be devalued, your work hours and benefits to be cut back, and your guns to be confiscated.

    …symptoms include frequent shrugging.

  21. srm000 says:

    I had an allergic reaction to the medicine “provided” by ObamaCare, and was forced to be “provided” with more. I then went home and paid my taxes worth 17 times more than the medicine would have cost me.

  22. Jimmy says:

    It came from Kenya.

  23. Manolo says:

    Have You Heard About the New Obama Flu That’s Going Around? Medical researchers immediately pegged it as a form of swine flu.

  24. artvol11 says:

    Its like a ObamaPhone, except instead of phone calls, you get a fever.

    Its like ObamaCare, except…actually its identical to ObamaCare.

  25. Manolo says:

    Have You Heard About the New Obama Flu That’s Going Around? It apparently causes Baby Boomers to feel guilty, black people to feel suckered, Chris Matthews to feel a thrill up his leg, and the rest of us to feel pretty much bent over.

  26. Manolo says:

    Have You Heard About the New Obama Flu That’s Going Around? The CDC advises to treat it with plenty of rest and chicken poodle soup.

  27. Jimmy says:

    The treatment for it is “take two aspirin and call me in the morning drop dead.”

  28. Manolo says:

    Have You Heard About the New Obama Flu That’s Going Around? Researchers tracked its start at the White House and its spread through GM and Chrysler, and then to China. It apparently won’t die out until the Chinese are all wealthy as hell.

  29. Manolo says:

    Have You Heard About the New Obama Flu That’s Going Around? It causes blindness in journalists.

  30. Jimmy says:

    Symptoms include short-term memory loss, inability to fill out tax forms and a Carter-like malaise.

  31. rodney dill says:

    …you lose the ability to understand math, especially large numbers.

  32. rodney dill says:

    @PeteSF, #9 Bacon ~~~~~ to you.

  33. Manolo says:

    Have You Heard About the New Obama Flu That’s Going Around? The Republicans had the vaccine, but they blew their chance to innoculate us from it.

  34. GrandLarsenE says:

    Funny, I haven’t heard a word about it in the media. Hmm.

  35. Mrs. C says:

    Bacon to PeteSF!

    … The cure may be hard to swallow – but you’ll be thankful for it when you and your wallet are healthy again.

  36. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    It’s very taxing.

  37. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    It’s caused 3 or 4 generations of missed work.

  38. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    No I haven’t, all the people flooding the emergency rooms claiming to have it don’t speak English.

  39. FormerHostage says:

    It only affects !% of the population.

    The CDC is calling it the “Plague of Color.”

    It comes on strong, wipes you out, and leaves you weaker.

  40. Spacemonkey1948 says:

    Put the lime in the coconut, drink the bowl down, call me in the morning

  41. Crabby Old Bat says:

    PeteSF #9 for the win. Close second to Manolo #29. Much bacon to both. ~~~~~~~

  42. Dohtimes says:

    …it’s caused by the Humanity Deficiency Virus.

    …if Obama does not make you throw up you are sick as hell.

    …the cure for it can’t be amended because when you catch it you get to administer the shot.

  43. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …the only prescription is fewer assault weapons, not more cowbell.

  44. Jimmy says:

    Americans appear to have no immunity to it – a genetic trait linked clear back to a similar flu called “FDR flu” in the 1930’s when many capitalists died.

  45. rodney dill says:

    ….the government is researching a free cure, funded with your tax dollars.

  46. Uncle Kevvie, That's Who says:

    Yes, indeedy I have. In fact, we’ve all had it for while now, and it got so common, we all thought ‘that’
    was ‘feeling normal’. But we’ve got “Doctor Barry” to make it bearable and so, here’s hoping we’ll all feel much ‘betterer’ in the morning , on January 21, 2017.
    Scuuuze me now, I got to go ‘Smile’ really loudly……..Look,…macaroni……

  47. PeteSF says:

    Mongo like bacon.

  48. gsmtiger says:

    It restricts your rights “for the good of the people”.

  49. gsmtiger says:

    It comes free with your Obamacare package.

  50. CTCompromise says:

    Have you heard about the new Obama Flu that’s going around? It gives you cramps. so you keep bowing all the time.

  51. CTCompromise says:

    Have you heard about the new Obama Flu that’s going around? Doctors prescribe fresh air and 18 holes of golf to cure it.

  52. CTCompromise says:

    Have you heard about the new Obama Flu that’s going around? It started in Kenya, spread to Indonesia and Hawaii, and somehow ended up in Washington D.C.

  53. CTCompromise says:

    Have you heard about the new Obama Flu that’s going around? It causes people on entitlements to have hallucinations that this country is being run well.

  54. CTCompromise says:

    Have you heard about the new Obama Flu that’s going around? It causes people to take 3 days off from work..then a week..then a month..then a year…….

  55. CTCompromise says:

    Have you heard about the new Obama Flu that’s going around? Doctors prescribe a Barry..Ummm enema to anyone who complains about it, with the simple instruction to shove it up your Republican Donkey.

  56. CTCompromise says:

    Have you heard about the new Obama Flu that’s going around? Scientists are working on a vaccine, but sadly it is about 4 years away.

  57. CTCompromise says:

    Have you heard about the new Obama Flu that’s going around? Instead of ringing in the ears- it makes you hear “mandates” that are not there.

  58. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    [...] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “Have you heard about the new Obama flu that’s going around?” [...]

Leave a Reply

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>