I just found out I’m supposed to watch the Winter Olympics with SarahK! That was never metnioned before I married her, man! That was not part of the deal! THAT WAS NOT PART OF THE DEAL!
29 Comments
Sorry Dude, you said “for better or for worse” in yer vows, and now it’s gotten WORSE really fast, hasn’t it? You should have read the fine print.
Listen, you are not the first husband hit with this particulat “bait and switch.” My beloved adores the Olympics, especially the Winter Olympics. But, her sole focus is on the opening and closing ceremonies. The rest, except for figure skating, she is indifferent to. Since this happens roughly every four years, snuggle up like a man and enjoy the costumes.
Pfft. Don’t be a wuss, dude. Olympic Figure Skating is the very LEAST of the things that were not mentioned before you got married and were not part of the deal. Just wait.
Didn’t she go to the gun range with you a couple of times? It’s payback time.
Course back in the day we fellows liked to watch figure skating because of Miss Katarina Witt. She still, to this day, makes me want to run away from home and write bad checks.
I disagree with all the other comments. Use the cat’s tail. But make sure you get to the hospital and saved in time. This has two benefits:
1. She’ll never ask you to watch the Winter Olympics again, and
2. You’ll still be able to bring “teh Funny”.
Frank, the winter Games have Biathalon. What isn’t manly about sking for time for mile though the snow and shotting stuff now and then. I admit it would be better if they used somethin other than a $10,000+ .22 rimfife.
Frank, as a red blooded american male, I can say that Olympic ceremonies are a great time to clean your guns on the floor of the house. It also gives you a chance to make fun of other males who might be more physically talented than you. Afterall, who wouldn’t laugh at a 75 lb ‘man’ with mousse in his hair and sequins on his chest? But someone might be offended by your comments, and so I would like you to have this SCIENTIFIC report outlining that body builders have small testes, and figure skaters have no breasts. So, if Sarah gives you crap, you can tell her it’s not a bias! It’s just good science! http://tinyurl.com/9lvbv
hey goofy goof. remember that time you stood me up in Albuquerque because you wanted to hang out in the Atlanta airport? what did i do that night? i watched Olympic gymnastics in my hotel room. that should have been a tipoff.
and i’ll even clean the guns while i watch. you can help if you want.
speaking of you getting dinner and sex, we should DO IT tonight.
Sheesh, you two, get a room. Oh, you have a room. Well, get another one.
Message to Frank: When the nesting starts and the home improvements begin, you will look back on figure skating as the “Good Old Days.”
Don’t do it, Frank J.! If you start doing that, the cameltoe…..I mean, the camel’s nose is under the tent. Marriage is a trade-off, if you both do it right. Become a slave now, you’ll always be one.
Sorry Dude, you said “for better or for worse” in yer vows, and now it’s gotten WORSE really fast, hasn’t it? You should have read the fine print.
Listen, you are not the first husband hit with this particulat “bait and switch.” My beloved adores the Olympics, especially the Winter Olympics. But, her sole focus is on the opening and closing ceremonies. The rest, except for figure skating, she is indifferent to. Since this happens roughly every four years, snuggle up like a man and enjoy the costumes.
There are more things, that were not outlined in the marriage cermony, to follow.
Pfft. Don’t be a wuss, dude. Olympic Figure Skating is the very LEAST of the things that were not mentioned before you got married and were not part of the deal. Just wait.
Man, relax. Ice skaters. Short skirts. Tight muscular legs. It’s not all bad.
Simply paint a set of cross hairs on one of the lenses of your glasses. Close the other eye and pretend it’s target practice. Problem solved.
Didn’t she go to the gun range with you a couple of times? It’s payback time.
Course back in the day we fellows liked to watch figure skating because of Miss Katarina Witt. She still, to this day, makes me want to run away from home and write bad checks.
I disagree with all the other comments. Use the cat’s tail. But make sure you get to the hospital and saved in time. This has two benefits:
1. She’ll never ask you to watch the Winter Olympics again, and
2. You’ll still be able to bring “teh Funny”.
Two Words… Ice Hockey
Are you holding her purse yet while she goes to the fitting room?
BTW, the only way out now is to have kids.
They’ll run interference for you on a lot of this stuff.
She is altering the deal. Pray she does not alter it again.
You get sex and dinner.
Deal
Frank, the winter Games have Biathalon. What isn’t manly about sking for time for mile though the snow and shotting stuff now and then. I admit it would be better if they used somethin other than a $10,000+ .22 rimfife.
Frank, as a red blooded american male, I can say that Olympic ceremonies are a great time to clean your guns on the floor of the house. It also gives you a chance to make fun of other males who might be more physically talented than you. Afterall, who wouldn’t laugh at a 75 lb ‘man’ with mousse in his hair and sequins on his chest? But someone might be offended by your comments, and so I would like you to have this SCIENTIFIC report outlining that body builders have small testes, and figure skaters have no breasts. So, if Sarah gives you crap, you can tell her it’s not a bias! It’s just good science!
http://tinyurl.com/9lvbv
Just pretend it’s Nascar and hope for some crashes.
hey goofy goof. remember that time you stood me up in Albuquerque because you wanted to hang out in the Atlanta airport? what did i do that night? i watched Olympic gymnastics in my hotel room. that should have been a tipoff.
and i’ll even clean the guns while i watch. you can help if you want.
speaking of you getting dinner and sex, we should DO IT tonight.
sarahk,
Of course, but you’ll have to turn off the Olympics for it.
then we better do it right when you get home. opening ceremonies are at 8.
Sheesh, you two, get a room. Oh, you have a room. Well, get another one.
Message to Frank: When the nesting starts and the home improvements begin, you will look back on figure skating as the “Good Old Days.”
Watch the Olympics or you’ll be shopping for her Tampax. Oh, forget it, that’ll happen anyway, if it hasn’t already.
plays really sad violin music and gets out some cheese
Mmm, whine.
//Just pretend it’s Nascar and hope for some crashes.//
How much cooler can you get than “the agony of defeat”
//Man, relax. Ice skaters. Short skirts. Tight muscular legs. It’s not all bad.//
I concur!
//Katarina Witt…//
yep!
is it too late to back out?
All I have to say is CURLING!
Frank’s hair isn’t long enough for curling.
Don’t do it, Frank J.! If you start doing that, the cameltoe…..I mean, the camel’s nose is under the tent. Marriage is a trade-off, if you both do it right. Become a slave now, you’ll always be one.
Hey Frank…
SUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂