Someone out there is Hillary Clinton. Who is it? It could be you. Here’s ten ways to tell if you might be the PIAPS.
10) You want to run on your record, a record that is so impressive it can’t be released to the public until after you get reelected.
9) You know absolutely everything about absolutely everything unless it’s happens to have something to do with your campaign.
8) Your greatest political success was a by anyone else’s standards a spectacular failure of Biblical proportions.
7) You want to take take things away from people for their own good, and then occasionally have Norman Hsu pay them back.
6) Frost is something you’re used to seeing on your windows. On the inside.
5) You took diction lessons from Roseann Barr, and etiquette from Sasquatch.
4) You have a very simple and logical stances on the issues, and are flabbergasted when people try to pin you down to any one stance on any issue,
3) You tell women they don’t need a man to take care of them or to ride a man’s coat tails. Yet your entire success comes from being married to a man who took care of you while you rode his coat tails.
2) Your approach is marked by a stampede of woodland creatures, large and small.
And the number one way to tell you might be Hillary Clinton….
You aren’t recalling a trip to Nevada when you fondly muse about hot, steamy Reno nights.
Monkey, that’s only four. I want my money back.
For eight years you claim that you aren’t making any policy decisions in the White House, then run a presidential candidate based on the fact that you now claim you were.
way to go, Monkey. Now I look idiotic.
HkPistole, that was my plan all alone.
Cankles?
Son of Bob, I was tempted to use yours. Sooo tempted.
Your ass is so big it holds it’s own primary (or caucus).
You’ve got ginormous thighs, short hair, crooked teeth, a nasty laugh and you like waffles for breakfast. Oh, sorry, I guess that fits millions of women over fifty out there.
Not to mention how glass shatters whenever she gets all screechy… although John Edwards has that same problem.
Fried chicken places have your order ready before you order:
2 left wings
small breasts
large thighs
You regularly get fetal tissue stuck between your teeth
You have better taste in the women you sleep with than your husband
Vegetation wilts as you walk by
Top Ten Ways To Tell You Might Be Hillary Clinton, Posted by spacemonkey
Scary true!
Horses that used to fear Frau Blücher now fear only you.
Other ways to tell:
* You think it takes a village to raise a child. And you were certainly counting on that, having foregone motherhood for political gain.
* You once exclaimed that “we are the President”; It surprised no one.
* Not unlike your own husband, American flags can’t stand to be around you, either.
* You’re really starting to get the hang of that whole “human emotion” thing.
* You really know how to brighten a room…usually just by walking out of it.
* Your signature move in bed is know to others as “defrost”.
* You are repelled by garlic.
* You keep waiting for Bill Richardson to rake your leaves.
MOOOONNNNKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I swear the mental image from below the fold won’t go away if I take a brillo pad directly to my brain.
I have seen Hitlery referred to as PIAPS here before; but since I’m a dumb hick from Oklahoma,I don’t know what PIAPS stands for. Could someone enlighten me?
Thank you.
PIAPS: Pig In A Pant Suit.
Yippie-ki-yay, Becky!
LOL I’m dying. Help me.
in her defense, at least diction from Roseanne and etiquette from Sasquatch is probably better than the other way around.
ChrisA
“Not to mention how glass shatters whenever she gets all screechy… although John Edwards has that same problem.”
John Edwards shatters when Hillary gets screechy?
ChrisA
“Not to mention how glass shatters whenever she gets all screechy… although John Edwards has that same problem.”
John Edwards shatters when Hillary gets screechy?
“I swear the mental image from below the fold won’t go away if I take a brillo pad directly to my brain.”
Yeah, that really should have come with a warning.
I tried to enter #5 when you posted this the first time but you deleted the post before my comment went through.
So I’ll post it again.
#5 You have more than 5 Chinese financiers on your speed dial and you’re neither Chinese nor in financing/banking.