Maybe He Can Give Us More Details on Exactly How He Plans to Screw ‘Em

Apparently Markos Moulitsas now has a column in Newsweek. This raises some questions: Newsweek is still around? Who reads it? Haven’t people heard about the internet? Really, a new magazine that comes out once a week — how’s that of any use to anyone?
And then why Kos? Is America really clamoring for the political analysis of the dim bulb who runs a chat site full of loons? Instead of column from him, wouldn’t another car ad be more interesting? I mean, if he’s going crazy angry and screaming “Screw ’em!” he’s entertaining in a freakshow kinda way, but otherwise what’s the point?
And, according to Kos, Newsweek also hired a conservative that will make “heads explode” on the liberals side. Who is that? Are they going for an equally trite and uninsightful conservative known for frequent bursts of extreme emotion, or are they going for a complete opposite so it will be someone as conservative as Kos is liberal and as bright as Kos is dull? Does anyone like that even exist?
So who do you think the mystery conservative columnist is who Newsweek hired? My guess is Andrew Sullivan.
UPDATE:
Moe Lane e-mailed about every conservative blogger he could think of and all confirmed it wasn’t him who got the job. He even has confirmation it’s not me, which is too bad because I would have wrote a column people would have been talking about for years (I assume I wouldn’t have gotten past one).

Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact

john edwards fabulous.jpgNo matter how much he diets, all John Edwards sees in the mirror through his tears is just a big ugly giant fat pair of thighs!
Bonus Fact from Casper the Friendly Host:
John Edwards’s secret stash movies – ‘Lord of the Flies’, ‘Kite Runner’ and ‘Boys of 2nd St. Park’.
[Huh… I was thinking “Can’t Stop the Music” and “L.I.E.” – Harvey]

Gay Rights Groups Accuse Hillary of Hate Speech

Waterloo, IOWA (AP) – Reminiscent of scandals over use of the word “niggardly”, Hillary Clinton is now coming under fire from gay rights activists across the country for using the word “flag” in a negative context.

“Great… now I gotta apologize to the damn flaggots.”

After a recent press conference, several American flags toppled around the presidential candidate [video], causing her to say in exasperation “why don’t these flags stay where they belong?” and “would somebody please put these flags back in their place?”
Several homosexual rights groups claim that this is a thinly veiled attack on their lifestyle.
“There was justified outrage in the African-American community over so-called ‘unintentional’ slurs like ‘niggardly’ and ‘tar baby‘, said National Gay and Lesbian Task Force director Matt Foreman. “If she thinks she can get away with her not-so-subtle prejudices just by tossing an extra letter into her hate-crime-speak, she’s sadly mistaken.”
Neil Giuliano, president of the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, agreed. “Nobody uses the f-word in the archaic sense that Hillary claims is what she meant. You would think a sensitive, progressive Democrat like her would use the proper modern term, ‘cloth of symbolicalness’, like everyone else. Or, at the very least – since these were American cloths of symbolicalness – ‘stupid rag on a stick'”.
Celebrity spokestruther Rosie O’Donnell was at least somewhat understanding of the former First Lady’s faux pas, saying “I think this outburst arose out of frustration over years of, like me, being a closeted thespian.”
[IMAO News reporter seaniep contributed to this story]

Just Because You’re Against Abortion Doesn’t Mean You’re for Expensive Abortions

Saw this on Red State and am not really sure how damning it is, but here’s the list of services and the copays for healthcare in Massachusetts as passed under Romney and right near the beginning of the second page is abortion for $50 (cheap!). I believe Romney’s explanation is that government funded abortion was unavoidable under the Massachusetts’s constitution, but I can also see another reason he didn’t get the NRLC endorsement.
This reminds of a teacher I had who explained he never put money in parking meters because he calculated that based how often he got a ticket and how much they cost, it was cheaper to pay the occasional ticket than always pay for parking. If you sleep around a lot and are on a budget, you might want to weigh constantly buying contraceptives versus the occasional abortion. Tell us your results!

Why You Shouldn’t Trust Theology from a Guy Who Quit His Church Over a Bike Path

So are the Democrats trying to legislate Heaven? Howard Dean said:

“This country is not a theocracy. There are fundamental differences between the Republican Party and the Democratic Party. The Democratic Party believes that everybody in this room ought to be comfortable being an American Jew, not just an American; that there are no bars to heaven for anybody; that we are not a one-religion nation; and that no child or member of a football team ought to be able to cringe at the last line of a prayer before going onto the field.”

The Democratic Party believes everybody gets into Heaven no matter what? Are they going to pass bills to that effect? Are they going to model salvation on outcome-based education?
If you let the Democrats take charge of Heaven, it’s going to become one big crack den, I guarantee. That’s why you should never let any Democrats into Heaven, but I’m sure God in His infinite wisdom already knows that.

Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths

Hillary Clinton wishes the debates would focus less on things she doesn’t know like her position on giving driver’s licenses to illegal aliens and more on things she does know like the difficulty of setting puppies on fire.

Why Must I Keep Repeating Myself?

As I said before and keep saying, never give a monkey a gun and don’t teach them karate. Similarly, don’t give driver’s license to illegals and never talk to a Ron Paul supporter with anything other than a tone reserved for small children.

Daily Fred Thompson Fact

At a speech at the Citadel, Fred Thompson called for a larger military, more modern weaponry, and smarter, less smelly enemies to fight. Sorry, hippies, he’ll kill you last.