Sean Penn – Speechless???

Evidence: here.

Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact

john edwards fabulous.jpgIf elected President, John Edwards promises to hold daily press conferences where he will answer all celebrity-gossip-related questions.

…as opposed to chopping them off?

The Saudi Foreign Minister is heading to Annapolis, but according to TIME Magazine, he’s not there to shake hands:

Will you try to get to know him at the conference, shake his hand and have a chat?
No, this is not theater. We are going seriously for peace negotiations. We are not going there just to take pictures of somebody shaking somebody’s hand. We can’t give false impressions to people. The hand that has been extended to us has been a fist so far. Once it opens for peace, it will be shaken.
Will you avoid shaking his hand if he approaches you?
I’m not going to be there for theatrical gestures of shaking hands that mean nothing. You shake hands, and it implies that you have agreed on something. We have not agreed on anything yet. Better than shaking our hands, he should respond in honesty to the proposals that we have put on the table.
Shaking his hand could send a signal to Israelis that there is a partner for peace.
We are there to support Mahmoud Abbas, the Syrians, and the Lebanese to get their territory. We are there in all honesty, if peace is achieved, to pursue that what was promised in the Arab peace plan. That is normalization, after the peace. We are not going to be party to gestures that could be interpreted as normalization before peace is attained.

TIME Magazine cut out the rest of this line of questioning:
What if Ehud Olmert disguises himself as a Mexican and tries to shake hands with you?
The hair-weave and mustache may fool me, but the hook-nose and tourist-quality sombrero would be a dead giveaway.
According to some medical journals, Israeli researchers have perfected limb-grafting and transplantation. What if Ehud Olmert grafted an Arab hand to his wrist and offered to shake hands with you?
I would demand the return of the stolen Arab hand and for Olmert to return to the 1967 borders.
What if you find yourself eating spaghetti at the conference, start slurping at a long strange, and find yourself face-to-face with Ehud Olmert? Will you kiss him like that Lady In The Tramp movie?
No, but I may be convinced to negotiate the nuzzling of a meatball in his direction. But the Lebanese, Syrians, and Palestinians will be left to negotiate their own meatballs.
What if Ehud Olmert refuses to shake hands with you?
What?
What if he reaches out to you in a crowd, sticks his hand out, you reach for it, and he pulls it back and yells GOTCHA! or something?
I refused to shake hands with him first! Arabs refused to shake first long before Jews refused to shake first!
Maybe he sticks his arm through the arm of someone else and…
No, really. Cut it out. Do you want me to raise the price of oil, Infidel?
How do you respond to the accusation that you’re not acting as negotiators when you make a proposal and then refuse to discuss its terms with the party it is being offered to?
That’s as absurd as the accusation that 15 out of 19 of the 9/11 hijackers were Saudi Muslim Arabs. Everybody knows that Saudis never do an honest day’s work in their life. That’s what foreign workers are for.
Planning on getting any Christmas shopping done while here in Annapolis?
Don’t be disgusting.
Well, thank you for your time, Foreign Minister.
The pleasure was all mine. (shakes hands) By the way, I didn’t catch your name…
Ehud Olmert.
But… but…
I’m quite proud of the sombrero… would you like me to send you one?
DAMN YOU, ZIONIST BABYKILLER!

Big

A Filipino entrepreneur created a gigantic Israeli flag to show their gratitude for Israel’s hosting Filipino guestworkers, 50 years of diplomatic relations, yadda yadda.
They also included a gigantic Filipino flag as part of the package.
In other news, Mexican illegal aliens are suing California to get school exams in Spanish. No word yet what size Mexican flag they’ll be sending to America to fly here as part of the reconquista.


UPDATE:
A spokesman for the comatose Ariel Sharon says that the massive flag is still too small for the former prime minister’s coffin, and he’s working with 1,000 local tailors to “let it out a little.”

Daily Fred Thompson Fact

Fred Thompson’s house is easy to find. Just turn off the main road, go two blocks and when you see the pillar of cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night, you’re there.