Any idea what happened to me?

So, there’ve been some complaints about IMAO taking a 4-day weekend and posting nothing but Fun Facts about political candidates.
MY excuse was that – as the unloved Jason Alexander to Frank’s Seinfeld – I figured no one would notice or care if my long-winded posts about nothing became non-existent posts about nothing.
As for FRANK’S excuse, well – assuming you believe that he and I are actually two different people – therein lies a mystery.
Leaving me to indulge in idle speculations regarding Frank’s non-blog-related activities thusly:

• Attending a People’s Temple Leadership Seminar in Guyana
• Buying yellowcake in Niger, since he’s too impatient to wait for President Thompson to nuke the moon for him.
• Told SarahK that “yes, those jeans DO make you look fat.” Condition critical. Outlook grim.
• Busily crossing picket lines despite 2057 consecutive rejections by the Hollywood studios. Gotta love his spunky determination.
• On Broadway, lining up backers for “IMAO: The Musical”, which the Miami Herald recently described as “…like ‘Cats’, except without the all the annoying costumes, dancing, or talent.”
• At the Mayo Clinic, being cloned for Fred Thompson’s Ninja Stormtrooper Army of Death and Fun.
• Transporter accident during a freak ion storm. He’s now happily living In Frank’s World, and has no plans to return.
• Yes, he’s sporting a spiffy little goatee, now.
• Can’t blog. Punching hippies.
• Discovered “2D Portal“. Nuff said.

Feel free to do your own speculating in the comments.