I officially apologize for Tom Cruise’s character in “A Few Good Men”.
And for his character in “Top Gun”.
And for his continued existence in general.
You may now support the Navy’s Valour-IT (Voice Activated Laptops for Our Injured Troops) fundraising efforts with a clear conscience.
John Hawkins has a very entertaining interview with Ann Coulter. I think she would like the John Edwards facts.
A front page blogger for Daily Kos admits that the drop in violence in Iraq is causing him and other liberals to panic. IMAO applauds this intellectual honesty and wishes other nutroots bloggers would follow suit.
Well, folks, the madness has struck Christmas: Santa has been asked to slim down to give a good example to kids.
Yeah, I’m just waiting for the note from the Political Correctness Police asking my people to “kill Jesus a little more humanely next time.”
John Edwards was recently disappointed to discover that he’d ordered the Mel Brooks PG-13 version of “Robin Hood: Men in Tights” by mistake.
Bonus Fact from Innominatus:
As a self-professed Christian, it’s not unusual that John Edwards frequently says “get thee behind me Satan!”. It IS unusual that he reflexively grabs his ankles after doing so.
Beaten by 512 electoral votes in his 1984 Presidential run, Walter Mondale will now endorse Hillary Clinton’s run for president.
Which should do wonders for her image as a winner.
I expect she’ll be picking up a few other supporters in the coming months:
Tom
* Wile E. Coyote
* Elmer Fudd
* Snidely Whiplash
* Boris Badinov
* Sylvester
* Chicago Cubs
* Al Franken
* William Hung
* Jason Alexander
* Star Wars Kid
* Stormtroopers – Forest Moon of Endor Brigade.
* Wil Wheaton
* Aquaman
Rumor has it the Black Knight will announce on Tuesday.
Shriveled little gnome Dennis Kucinich is going to introduce articles of impeachment against Dick Cheney. I fully support this because I think it will be hilarious since the Constitution says that Cheney would get to preside over his own trial. That would be awesome.
Maybe if we all support the impeachment of Cheney, we can get Kucinich and his crazies to support us impeaching President Hillary (if she’s elected). We’ll just tell him that Hillary is for shooting down all UFOs and he’ll scream, “No! They’re my friends!” and join us in our effort.
That’s how you build a coalition people. You have to learn this if you want to play politics with the big boys.
Remember, remember the fifth of November.
Today is the day to express insane political views!
HD DVD doesn’t actually have a better picture than regular DVD. The extra space on the disk is filled up with programs allowing the government to spy on us through our TVs! Russians spy on us through Blu-ray!
We could keep the peace just as easily by replacing police officers with raccoons riding sheep dogs armed with tasers! Support freedom from the police state! Giver raccoons tasers and put them on sheep dogs!
Write your own insane political view/conspiracy theory in the comments. Best one wins high praise and will be reported to the FBI.
I saw this on the Daily Kos front page over the weekend and thought I should pass it on. Apparently, President Bush’s evil has expanded to the point that HE’S DESTROYING MOUNTAINS! I don’t know all the details, but somehow Bush is currently destroying America’s mountains as even geographical features are no longer beyond his wrath. I guess in the nutroots eyes, Bush has now moved up from cartoonish supervillian to angry god.
A warning to the nutroots: If President Bush can destroy mountains, how easy must it be for him to destroy a blog full of wiener kids. Something to think about before you oppose him.
UPDATE:
I was being lighthearted when I first wrote this post, but if you take an honest look at the issues you will agree that the number one problem facing America today is too many mountains. Thus I support President Bush in his mountain destroying initiative. It’s good to see that someone has faith at least the size of a mustard seed.
