36 Comments

  1. I love ponies. After all they’re just little horses.
    Silky ponies however are the most vile creatures ever to evolve on this planet (or graduate law school). They should be rounded up and herded to the dog food plant.

  2. Can’t say as I hate ponies, but… every time I am around ponies or horses either one, I’m immediately cognizant of the reasons why farm tractors, cars, and trucks were invented.
    If the wife wants a pony for the farm, tell her that you plan to get a tractor and that the tractor will have to do.
    FWIW, get a vintage Farmall.

  3. OMG, true story, I was attacked by consertives Saturday Night. After the “beating” they apparantly put me in me friends daughters room (she was spenging the night somewhere else) to recover. When I woke up I was surrounded by My Little Ponies! freckin horrofing!

  4. Breeding horses to be extra big and powerful like Clydesdales so they can pull beer wagons and stomp on hippies is cool. Breeding horses to be extra small and cutesy with stubby little legs that aren’t good for anything but breaking the little girl’s neck in Gone With The Wind is just stupid.

  5. Dr. Muhammed Al- ‘Arifi of Saudi advises solemnly, “Beating in the face is forbidden, even when it comes to Wives,” he explained. “Even if you want your wife or mistress to start walking, you are not allowed to beat it in the face. If this is true for women, it is all the more true when it comes to Ponies. So beatings should be light and not in the face.”
    You may lose a few virgin Ponies if you do, Frank.
    Oh, My Bad……I got the Objects all backwards! Damned ADD………….
    Wollf
    PS, yeah, he Really said it

  6. Most ponies tend to be mean little bastards who kick and bite without warning.
    Horses, on the other hand, will be affectionate and loving when properly treated.
    Both are, however, extremely stupid and will react to the dumbest of incidents.

  7. Here’s what you do for maximum pony distress. You get one of those vintage Farmall tractors and you ride slowly past all the ponies in their little paddock. Poor, poor little ponies…nobody wants you anymore… you have been replaced by something more fun LIKE MACHINERY!!! Bwwwwahhhhahhhhahhhhahhh.
    Then you can watch little pony tears course down their little pony faces.

  8. a lady at work, who has no life, raises little ponies. she just goes on and on about then all the time. just makes me want to suicide myself into the next life. i’ve learned to hate, where once i would not have gave it another thought.

  9. Yeah! and why can’t we eat dolphins! Now THOSE are some self righteous little b*stards. Jumping through hoops and catching fish. They’re kind of like water ponies. except without the catching fish part.

  10. Why do you waste time worrying about ponies when clearly the raccoon threat is upon us? They even have opposable thumbs, and beady, shifty eyes! I suspect that raccoons are also secretly funding Ron Paul, since they love all things shiny!

  11. When I was a young lad my great uncle kept a couple of ponies on his farm for a friend of his. I hated them. They were meaner than hell. If they weren’t trying to bite you, they were trying to kick you. Got some retribution by sneaking up and shooting them in the ass with my BB gun. Read somewhere that the Samoans or maybe the Maoris like to roast a pony at Christmas in lieu of turkey. More power to’em I say..

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