Birds started mysteriously dying in Louisiana and Arkansas. Kinda feels like the beginning of a horror movie where seeing all these dead birds sets the tone before the real scares start.
Anyway, no one knows what is causing this, so I was thinking of some theories to explain it. Here’s what I’ve got so far:
* A prolific bird serial killer.
* Chupacabras from Mexico, running out of goats to suck, have evolved into bird suckers.
* Bird suicide cult.
* Birds are unable to avoid all our obese children and keep running into them and dying.
* Obama passed a bill to increase the number of birds.
* Cloaked Klingon Bird of Prey ships hovering in the air that the birds keep flying into.
* They’re just pining for the fjords.
Instead of speculating, maybe we should just find a bird with red plumage and sunglasses to investigate.
This happened in the pilot of the short-lived series “FlashForward”
You forgot one, Chuck Norris hates birds.
* Its a sign of the apocalypse, that one told the truth
* Sun spots
* rosie odonnell had an intelligent thought
It really does sound like the beginning of a scary/disaster movie but I cant remember a single one. Michael Yon linked to a report where the initial autopsy showed internal bruising and bleeding. While we are used to wind blowing side to side up high it blows up and down and often fast and viscous its how we get hail etc.. That there is lots of dead fish showing up also means their something else besides just crazy wind happening.
Earths core and sun flares are two things that are invisible to us but can throw nature suddenly way out of wack. I assume we have lots of instruments on those things right now soo who nows.
Its funny to see the left going hysterical pointing to government agencies who are trying to control the weather…. to I dont know invade Iran with snow or whatever, when in reality if there are government agencies manipulating the weather it is almost certainly doing it out of global warming hysterics.
All right, Frank, there was no dead birds. The flash of light you saw in the sky just before the birds fell in your yard, was not a Klingon Bird of Prey. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus. (flashy thing)
Obviously, it was the Government and their secret program of “Chemtrails”
It’s another viral promotion from adult swim for the return of Harvey Birdman: Attourney at Law.
The dead fish? Sealab:2021.
Razor?? What razor? We are the media and don’t know a thing about this Occam’s Razor thing. Maybe Occam killed the birds.
Methinks the media are just holding out until some Scientist! can tie this to global warming/pollution/lack of healthcare insurance.
Hi, all.
Off the top of my head:
1/It could also be a rare breed of Government funded Mutant Cats who enjoy honing their Predatory skills by leaping very high up and snatching lost, migrating birds.
2/The Annual Texas Dove Hunt could have gotten out of hand.
3/The birds flew into Dick Cheney’s ‘Halliburton Stealth Dirigible Of Doom!’
4/High Altitude Testing Of Chemical Warfare Agents since its so hard and cost-ineffective to toss Cows and Sheep high into the sky.
5/Pinky And The Brain accidentally moved Al Gore’s Giant Space Magnifying Glass away from the North Polar Ice Caps and towards the Equator.
Jack.
They were skewered by Pelosi’s broom on her trip back after she lost her luxury flight privleges.
The birds were vicitms on Obama’s Save The birds Campaign. Everything else he has done has had the same results.
Someone gave their kid a Crossman 760 for Christmas.
It’s all of the above!
True story: Two years ago, a bunch of Tree Swallows were tormenting my Pappy’s Bluebirds while he was mowing the lawn. They were preventing the Bluebirds from entering the nesting box and feeding the babies, etc. My Pappy told me later that he drove his lawnmower right up to the box but the Swallows wouldn’t move. He went inside, grabbed his old .22, stood about ten paces away, and shot the Tree Swallow off the box. They haven’t tormented anything since.
When I told my Pappy about the Migratory Bird Act, he did not give a rip. I am so proud of him.
Although I really liked the one about Obama passing a bill to increase the number of birds, I think a cloaked Klingon bird or prey is more likely to be the real cause.
They didn’t vote for democrats, so the death panels did away with them.
Nobody reported on cardinals in Arizona crashing and burning for the past few months.
-But I suppose that’s because it’s more a sign things are returning to normal.
Marko’s Pappy got a 10 bricks of .22 ammo for Christmas.
Do DamnCats kill blackbirds?
Human Flu.
Burmashave – on advice of council I refuse to answer.
Burma,
The answer is no. Cats are too afraid to screw with wild birds. Especially blackbirds, who are big, scary, and noisy.
A lot of blackbirds thought that. And a lot of blackbirds are dead.
I am still suspecting it was a test firing of the Mexicannon using ‘bird’shot.
Some say Aqua Buddha smited these birds as a warning to us. Others say it’s all part of the Pig Chump conspiracy. I, on the other hand, am going to fall back on an old tried and true theory…I blame it on the failed policies of the Bush administration that the Obama administration inherited.
I love that people are getting hysterical over this. All of a sudden the Bible, God and religion are in the news. Nothing like plague and the end of the world to put things into perspective I guess.
Still after being shunted aside, banned, used as a curse, and defamed and degraded in art, literature, government and media if I were God I’d hustle on down to earth and start the miracle train. Actually I wouldn’t……which is why I’ll never have to worry about that job. After all we threw Him out of schools, government buildings and homes. It seems a trifle hypocritical to call him back now. Fair is fair.
Ninja crows.
How do I know? You didn’t see them do it, did you? Therefore, ninja crows.
the birds were caught in a sudden updraft/water spout (accounts for the dead fish) that buffeted them about (internal bruising and bleeding) and carried them to altitudes where they either froze or died from lack of oxygen (massive die-off). The violent updraft was caused by anthropogenic global climate change which is, of course, the fault of George W. Bush and his greedy American industrialist cohorts. Hippies are weeping for the rape of Gaia.
It’s…it’s…The Aflockalyps!!!1!
Definitely pining.
And I saw an angel standing in the sun, who cried in a loud voice to all the birds flying in midair, “Come, gather together for the great supper of God, so that you may eat the flesh of kings, generals, and mighty men, of horses and their riders, and the flesh of all people, free and slave, small and great.”
– Rev. 19:17-18
The Louisiana and Arkansas birds chose to raid the dumpster behind McDonald’s instead – too much trans-fats, I guess.
I already proposed my own crazy theory in an earlier thread. I am just going to say, that whatever is causing the death of all these blackbirds, I hope it keeps it up. All black birds do is crap, eat farmers crops, and squawk annoyingly. Kill them all, and let mockingbirds and bluejays take their place.
This was the start to that Blockbuster movie, “CORE”
The US was working on a satelite based “ray gun” that would cause earthquakes and stuff on and deep within the Earth (hopefully untraceable).
Some kind of EM pulse that killed the birds and killed a bunch of lucky folks who had pacemakers.
Something went wrong and they stopped the core of the earth from moving, so they had to hire some scientists, arrest and force some dufuss “hacker” ( i cringe at the poor hacker concept they chose here) and buy a fictitious metal spinning slug machine thing that could burrow into the core, detonate a bunch of nukes and ride the magma wake back to the surface – YAY Earth saved
This could be the opening credits to this horror playing out…
They’re not pining they’ve passed on. They wouldn’t voom if you put four million volts through them.
Whatever happened, we need full cavity searches at the airport now for everyone! One can’t be too careful these days!
pining for the fjords…stop, you’re killin’ me!!!