Straight Line of the Day: Why Are TSA Airport Screenings Taking So Long?

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Why are TSA airport screenings taking so long?

23 Comments

  1. …the new security strategy is to create easier and less expensive soft targets by bunching hundreds of people outside the security zone and away from expensive airplanes.

  2. Most of the male screeners get arrested daily when unable to resist joking if that’s a gun in your pocket or…

    Obesity epidemic means most pat downs require a tag team and someone getting hit with a folding chair.

    First hour of each screening is sorting and matching gender identities, usually decided after a restroom break.

    Over half of random pat downs result in finding a lost remote control or a distressed gerbil.

  3. Why are TSA airport screenings taking so long?

    Rubber gloves on back order.

    Cause they are so much Fun!

    Filthy terrorists getting more clever in their filthy terrorist ways.

  4. Why are TSA airport screenings taking so long?

    The TSA agents have to walk 3 miles to the smoking area for a cigarette break.

    The TSA agents are government employees… ’nuff said.

    The TSA get paid by the hour.

    Since the passengers are not bringing as much good stuff to steal, it’s taking longer for the TSA agents to root through the baggage and find stuff worth taking.

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