They’re banning tag? You can’t draw a picture of a gun and you can’t even chase each other; it’s like some people out there won’t be satisfied until every boy grows up to have a wide stance.
At least they still haven’t banned my favorite playground game: bare-knuckle boxing.
Just tell the teachers the kids are republicans, then they’ll want them to hurt eachother. They know that’s what is supposed to happen because the union tells em to read kos.
This is what happens when lawyers run the show.
Next they will legislate a ban of BB gun fights. How are our future warriors going to learn to shoot accurately at animate targets and inflict (or withstand) pain?
Nation of sissies indeed.
I think that is bare-knuckles Frank J. Bare-fisting sounds like something Sen. Craig would do.
Lord, this is stupid. I was always the slowest, least-coordinated boy (we boys played only with other boys, of course) on the playground, and even I liked playing tag.
Are the schools banning tag because they can actually succeed at banning tag, while they fail miserably at, say, teaching proper grammar or finding Japan (home or ninjas and ronin) on the globe?
That’s “home OF ninjas and ronin”, not “home OR ninjas and ronin”.
Might as well just go ahead and ban gym class; I got hurt more in there than I ever did on the playground. I’d also rather have some kid try to make me play tag than do most of the stuff they made us do there, too. At least I could outsmart the other kids if I didn’t want to play.
These people are the reason my elementary school never had swings. Argh.
Crap.
I simply do not understand this stuff.
When I was growing up in the 60’s we had those big iron monkey bars and iron pipe cages to climb around. Heck, I think there was may one teacher on the whole playground watching a hundred kids.
I think this is just plain laziness on the schools part.
Frank, interesting how bare-fisted boxing requires a wide stance – but only for the duration.
I remember how we used to play “Zorro” complete with capes (our coats) and sword fights with wooden sticks found at the edge of the playground. The teachers didn’t like that. We didn’t like the teachers not liking it.
Let’s make a comprehensive list of things banned at most playgrounds today:
tag
softball, baseball
soccer
dodgeball
simulated gun, sword or martial arts play
any game where someone loses
Of course, the teachers union has endorsed two games:
1) oral sex: made so very popular by a past President, and recently endorsed by Barack Obama, good liberal teachers introduce the youngest children to this popular past-time at every opportunity, with particular emphasis on gay experimentation.
2) Muslim prayer. Though most religions are discouraged, practicing the Muslim religion is encouraged by all good liberal teachers.
Similar to their plan for fighting the global war on terror, Democrat lawmakers want to fight childhood obesity by decreasing the amount of exercise our children get because according to Senators Kennedy, Pelosi and Reid, “…burning fat cells only ends up creating more of them.”
Senator John Kerry (who endured basic training exercises reminiscent of Genghis Khan’s Ultimate Pilates prior to being shipped out to fight in Vietnam) was recently quoted as saying, “What we need to do is to try and understand why the fat cells hate us so much and want us to become fat, fat fatties. Once we do that then we can resolve our differences and lose weight through diplomatic negotiations instead of using inherently violent activities such as “sports”, “games” and “gym memberships”.”
Special Fat Ambassador Michael Moore was unavailable for comment.
“Next they will legislate a ban of BB gun fights. How are our future warriors going to learn to shoot accurately at animate targets and inflict (or withstand) pain?”–Alamo
“any game where someone loses”–Jimmy
AMEN….I guess they figure if they never lose, then they’ll never know that when they grow up to be Dumocrats, they are losers. Without pain, and/or accuracy then they’ll be just like John ‘I served in Vietnam’ Kerry, big ultra-liberal woosies.
This might not be a bad thing since we are obviously raising a nation of sissy boys. Evidence the kids I see riding around my neighborhood on their little bikes with full-face motorcycle helmets, knee and elbow pads and I’m sure instructions from an overprotective mommy and daddy on how to avoid the slightest possibility of an owie! I’m sure these precious little dears will be our future Senators caught playing “hide the baloney pony” in the men’s room…
As long as they replace it with something wholesome, like “smear the queer”.
When Moonbunny was in 7th grade she got suspended for telling some boy who was picking on her that she would carve him up like a Thanksgiving Turkey. She was home for 3 days…working on her culinary skills.
Ahh, I can see the compromise now-
“Now children, remember: You can play tag, but there’s no actual touching allowed unless it includes exploring your sexuality. Also, no ‘tag-backs’ & everyone is ‘on base’ anywhere they happen to be. That way, everyone is ‘safe’ & nobody loses, just like in the real world!”
It’s like French baseball, where “everybody would be out in left field & NO one would be safe!” (hat tip to Robin Williams on Broadway)
Did anyone else make a gasoline, flaming tennis ball cannon out of soda cans growing up?
I could see the Liberals/progressives having a heart attack over those.
No, Sky, but we did also invent ways to look up girls skirts and a version of ussjimmycarter’s “hide your baloney pony” (with the girls) called “touch football.” The trick was keeping that deli entree under control.
SkyWatch … nope, we used lighter fluid.. We called those weapons Goose Guns.
We called ’em Molotov Cocktails, but we used rags instead of balls, and threw them instead of launching them out of anything…
I had the Anarchy Cookbook, in all its ASCII glory, on disk for my Apple IIc back in junior high (1985). We made all kinds of explosive stuff. I would make stuff up and take it to school to trade with friends for what they made.
Seriously, I believe the liberal establishment has reacted with horror that so many of our young men (and young women as well) have demonstrated a surprisingly vigorous warrior ethos while serving in the Sandbox. Expect them through our socialist dominated public school system to redouble their efforts at “pussification”.
I have witnessed daily many examples of their success with turning out wayward, shiftless boys. I can only assume that those whose had the good fortune to be tutored by their fathers or another significant male influence to overcome the attempted emascualtion by the lib establishment are the majority of those serving in harms way.
Lift a toast tonight to those fathers (and mothers), coaches, uncles, whomever, that forged these brave, honorable and duty conscious young service men despite the odds.
You know, nowadays I think that I’m really fortunate to have grown up when I did. We had a playground at my grade school which was (it seemed) as big as two football fields. There was one teacher who monitored the whole thing. You could beat each other to a pulp, torture animals (we found a frog and decided to “dissect” it alive using a pull-tab from a soda can…you know, those old ones that pulled all the way off the can), wrestle, bury each other in the sandbox (one kid got buried up to his neck), play tackle football with no pads, climb the monkey bars (well, really, the boys had no interest in climbing the monkey bars…we just sat at the bottom and watched the GIRLS, in their skirts (yeah, they wore skirts) climb them), and all kinds of violent diversions. The playground was bordered on one side by the school, and on the other three sides by some farmer’s field. On some days, when the corn had grown up really high, we’d go in there with broken stalks as “guns” and play “Vietnam,” or, as my best friend, the military historian amongst us, called it, “Indochinese Guerilla Warfare.” You’d hide in the corn until some unsuspecting kid walked by, then you jump out and point your corn stalk at him and yell “bang!” And then of course he’d deny you hit him, and bang you back. You’d deny he hit YOU, then you’d close to melee distance and begin clubbing each other over the head with the cornstalks. I always sucked at this game because I wore glasses, so I had to take them off to avoid getting them whacked. But it was fun.
Nobody was EVER injured, killed, maimed or seriously emotionally scarred by any of this. Except maybe the kid they buried in the sand, but he was weird to begin with.
Just have the kids say they’re Muslim, and they have to play tag as part of their riligiously mandated Jihad training. The schools will not only cave, but build Muslim-friendly tag courts on every playground.
Evidence the kids I see riding around my neighborhood on their little bikes with full-face motorcycle helmets, knee and elbow pads and I’m sure instructions from an overprotective mommy and daddy on how to avoid the slightest possibility of an owie!
I had a bike with a 3 foot sissy bar (yeah, I know they were called sissy bars) on the back. Made the thing look like Peter Fonda’s chopper. We’d make jumps on our bikes in the street on ramps we hastily constructed. One time I was going downhill, hit a rock, flew over the (chopper style) handlebars, and skidded 30 ft on the pavement. I was wearing….shorts. No shirt or shoes. I still have a scar on the bottom of my chin from that spill. But I’m PROUD to say I have never, EVER ridden a bicycle (or motorcycle for that matter) with a helmet.
You know why the hits in the NFL are becoming more and more violent? Because the guys are more and more padded, and the potential for injury to the tackler is lessened, while the potential for the one being tackled is intensified in the form of whiplash and concussions. In the old days with leather helmets, you pulled up, and wrapped a guy up to tackle him. Actually, more effective than spearing him with a carbon-fiber headpiece, by the way. And safer. After they eliminated the danger to the defender, they could use their bodies as projectile weapons.
Bare-knuckled fighting is similar in many respects. Putting padded gloves on someone doesn’t protect the head of the guy being pounded. It protects the FISTS of the guy dishing out the punishment. More punishment can be given. Fewer broken noses, and broken hands, and a LOT more concussions and retarded former fighters who can’t utter a complete sentence. Ever heard Leon Spinks speak today? Ever hear Rocky Marciano speak after he retired? Rocky was at least coherent. Heavier gloves protects the hands, not the head. Before, a guy would be knocked out before serious damage was done. Now, he takes blow after blow to his cranium, ultimately bruising the brain and imparing motor function. Oh yeah, but he made it 15 rounds! A lot of good that’ll do him when he’s 42 years old and can’t read a cereal box.
When I grew up I worked at a grocery store in High School for 5 years. Our manager was an old tight ass type named Kenny. My buddy and I put a sign on the passenger side of his car that said “Kenny’s Stud Service…You Pick ‘Em – We Stick ‘Em” He drove around for a week before he noticed it. I can only imagine the difficulty I might have today getting my diploma…
We also use to get great joy in flushing M-80’s and Cherry Bombs down the toilet…Lit of course at school to see what damage we could do to the plumbing…
I bet you did some damage to some plumbing, ussjimmycarter.
(Ed.-) obviously made a change to your original post and now my post looks stupid or at least more stupid than it originally was. Maybe (Ed.-) can delete mine.
[Never! -Ed.]
OK
I’m a substitute teacher, and you wouldn’t believe the stuff we’re barred from doing. I’m going to damage an optic nerve if I keep eye-rolling this much.
Students in Toronto public schools are not permitted to make or throw snowballs. They can’t throw loose snow, either.
OT but with any Toronto District School Board presentation, I play a silent game of “Count the Hijabs” and “Spot the Lonely Minority White Kids”.
http://www.tdsb.on.ca/