John Edwards’s first action if elected President? Installing an all-Streisand karaoke machine on Air Force One.
Bonus Facts from Matt:
John Edwards’ turning point against corporations was when he narrowly lost out to a soft, anthropomorphic teddy bear for the the title of the “Snuggle Soft Dryer Sheet Mascot.” “Edwards Soft” has since become the measure of just how soft someting can be — making newborn kittens extremely jealous.
John Edwards lost his role to the Pillsbury Doughboy mostly due to the fact that he was unable to stop giggling uncontrollably when poked in the belly button.
If the US forewent spending 6 Million Dollars on rebuilding Lee Majors in 1974, invested half of it’s government budget on R&D, and recruited the brightest minds from around the world, we STILL wouldn’t have the technology or capability to create a bionic representation of the glamour and lusciousness of John Edwards’ hair.
Archive of entries posted on 25th August 2007
It’s Fun to Win
khart208 has received his Super Happy Fun IMAO Prize Package Number One that celebrated five years of IMAO. Here’s what he had to say:
I’d like to let everyone know that I just received my Super Happy Fun IMAO Prize Package [Number One] a couple of days ago. It was like Christmas, Easter, the Fourth of July and Labor Day all rolled into one! Except for the tree with ornaments, and colored eggs, and fireworks, and labor. I was so excited that I didn’t even think to admonish my girlfriend when she asked “Who’s this Frank guy, anyway? This isn’t, like, drugs or something super bad, is it?” I grabbed that box and scuttled to my office. I haven’t left since.
I’ve watched “Die Hard” at least five times now, and every time it’s better, because I know that FrankJ and SarahK’s eyes have seen the exact same movie! I haven’t changed out of my IMAO shirt in days. “The Chronicles of Dubya”, so kindly and thoughtfully inscribed by both FrankJ and SarahK, hasn’t been out of my hands. Their words of wisdom are so profound… I’m going to memorize this book like terrorists memorize the Koran. And their special, mystery gift… well, I’m not going to spoil that, but suffice it to say it’s something that I’ll hold near and dear as a family heirloom, at least until the next time I have any unsightly rough spots on the fence or splinters to take care of.
As for the Hate-Filled Liberal cartoon… I know that posting for all to see will diminish its tremendous monetary value. However, I am willing to sacrifice some of the resale profits to provide a public service. If only someone could tell me how to post the scanned image…
I had the foresight to scan the comic before mailing it, so here is khart208’s comic printed with his permission:

That was fun! Since I still have some irregular copies of Chronicles of Dubya lying around (bent or off-center covers), maybe I can give them away in some future contests. If you want a normal copy, you can buy it from Amazon or some other online retailer.