I found this video quite amusing, although I suppose – in a way – it’s really a subtle commentary on our younger generation’s tragic lack of patriotism.
If you actually read all those wordy-words at the bottom, you’ll find that there might be something you can do about it.
Archive of entries posted on 27th August 2007
Ronin Profiles: Patriot Xeno
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Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s Patriot Xeno.
What’s the story behind your name? Nothing exciting. I adopted (stole from Orson Scott Card) Xenocide as my name for Counter Strike, which was shortened to Xeno, and added the Patriot when I started blogging just because it sounded cool. I’m pretty sure Grim suggested it – I probably was thinking something like “Xeno the Impaler” or something.
Where do you live? Just a small town in northern Indiana that nobody’s ever heard of. 2 stoplights – it’s fantastic. If I could live there the rest of my life I would.
How old are you? 26.
Tell us briefly about yourself. Just your typical ultra conservative Christian Marine nerd. I shoot guns, despise hippies and wish Batman was real.
If you saw a monkey faced liberal but had your hands tied behind your back, what would you do? Well not bite him, that’s for sure. There’s no telling where he’s been.
How long have you been reading IMAO? Since late ’04 – Grim emailed me one of your articles saying “dude, this guy is you, only funny”
What’s your favorite IMAO post? Probably this one “https://www.imao.us/index.php/2005/03/in-my-world-the-dark-cloud-of-glorious-reality/ “, but there are some other great In My Worlds, and I’m pretty partial to Know Thy Enemy and the Aquaman bits.
What’s you favorite political issue? Tough call, with all the big ones out there I get fired up about, but I’d have to with either taxation (it’s out of control) or the ridiculous regulations they keep imposing on legitimate businesses ( i.e. no smoking in restaurants, no trans fat, osha, etc)
Are you aware that Batman is by far the greatest superhero? Yes.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. Yes, rhog.blogspot.com. It’s pretty awesome – we went to war with China a while back and totally thrashed them because they banned our site (but no more!) My buddy from college (Citizen Grim) started it with me a couple years back, largely influenced by IMAO. We used to post a lot more but we’ve gotten a lot busier. Which is ok, since I will never again write anything as good as my older stuff – especially the eHarmony saga.
You met my brother at Marine OCS; is he as dumb as he looks? He’s good people, I’d have no qualms about him watching my back.
If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
John Edwards once spent three days tied to a chair after accidentally spraying himself with Silly String.
Obama Vows to Rebuild “Chocolate City”
NEW ORLEANS (AP) – In a speech Sunday, Presidential candidate Barack Obama promised to make re-building New Orleans his top priority, saying that he would restore the promise of America’s “Chocolate City“.
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“It’s been two years since Hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans,” said Obama, “and President Bush has done nothing to restore this city to its former glory. I will change all that. In order to cut through the red tape of re-building, I will eliminate the cumbersome bidding process and instead award the construction contracts to whichever company finds the lucky ‘Golden Tickets’ hidden under the wrappers of Chocolate City Candy Bars.”
“To further speed up the process,” continued Obama, “we will eliminate all requirements for expensive union labor. Instead, my plan calls for the importation of the entire Oopma Loompa tribe. These small but energetic workers will get the job done in half the time of worthless Teamsters or lazy Mexicans.”
“Finally, Lake Pontchartrain will be filled with delicious, creamy cocoa, while the levees will be re-inforced with millions of Snickers Bars,” said Obama, drooling slightly with hunger. “I believe this will give America the Chocolate City of its dreams. A city where delicious sweets – whether red, yellow, brown, blue, or orange – will be able to live together in harmony, regardless of the color of their candy shell.”
No! Not Impeachment!
It’s Time for Impeachment
Political news has been slow lately. I think it’s time for impeachments.
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The nutroots were obsessed with Alberto Gonzales, but now that he’s resigned they’re probably going to focus more on President Bush and Vice President Cheney and demand impeachment for how they set fire to orphanages and eat kittens or whatever the hell it is the nutroots have imagined they’ve done. I think impeachment could be a lot of fun, so we need to encourage them to pressure the Democrats on this. The best way is reverse psychology. All we bloggers should post things like “Impeaching the president or vice president would be super unpatriotic!” and “We must stop the left from impeachment!” or “Don’t throw the president or the vice president in the brier patch! Anything but that!”
Then the nutroots will wring their tiny little hands and squeal, “Yes! Impeachyment! We get teach righty neocons good with impeachyment! Hee hee hee!”
What will make this so much fun is that the nutroots really fear VP Cheney. See, they haven’t thought this (or anything else, for that matter) through because there is no easy way to impeach a vice president (probably because our forefather never imagined people so nutty as to want to impeach a vice president). If they go after President Bush, expect Cheney to be standing on the sidelines the whole time saying, “Yes! Soon the power will be mine! Then I will kill you all! Muh ha ha ha!” It would be very distracting. And, if the Democrats were successful in removing President Bush, there would be no way they could then stop President Cheney before he used the office of the president to harshly punish all his enemies. It would be both horrific and awesome.
If they go after Cheney first, it will be even more fun. Constitutionally Cheney gets to preside over his own impeachment since the vice president gets to preside over all such matters in the Senate (the only exception is made for the impeachment of the president). That means he could rule his own trial with an iron fist!
CHENEY: You spoke out of turn, so you get handcuffed for an hour to the Chimp of Punishment!
SENATOR: But the chimp likes the bite!
CHENEY: Exactly! Muh ha ha ha!
CHIMP OF PUNISHMENT: Eee! Eee!
Cheney would be able to draw the whole thing out just to torture Senate Democrats until his term naturally expired (or he and Bush form their dictatorship).
I really don’t see a downside to this; it’s just going to be lots and lots of entertaining news cycles. So let’s start pressuring the nutroots to do this by acting like we’d really hate it.
Because I’m bored.
Links of the Day
You’re probably saying, “Frank J. doesn’t have any post up yet. Are there some links I can check out while waiting?” Yes there are at Conservative Grapevine with such links as:
Cracked: Before they were famous: The 10 most regrettable celebrity commercials
Opus: The Opus comic strip that was banned by some papers for being offensive to Muslims
Wizbang: G.I. Joe: “Real American Hero” no more
The Diplomad: The EU decided to take on Texas recently and the Texans got the last laugh. Johnny Ray Conner, double murderer, is dead.
Conservative Grapevine: Can’t get enough of those wonderful inks links!