Political news has been slow lately. I think it’s time for impeachments.
|
The nutroots were obsessed with Alberto Gonzales, but now that he’s resigned they’re probably going to focus more on President Bush and Vice President Cheney and demand impeachment for how they set fire to orphanages and eat kittens or whatever the hell it is the nutroots have imagined they’ve done. I think impeachment could be a lot of fun, so we need to encourage them to pressure the Democrats on this. The best way is reverse psychology. All we bloggers should post things like “Impeaching the president or vice president would be super unpatriotic!” and “We must stop the left from impeachment!” or “Don’t throw the president or the vice president in the brier patch! Anything but that!”
Then the nutroots will wring their tiny little hands and squeal, “Yes! Impeachyment! We get teach righty neocons good with impeachyment! Hee hee hee!”
What will make this so much fun is that the nutroots really fear VP Cheney. See, they haven’t thought this (or anything else, for that matter) through because there is no easy way to impeach a vice president (probably because our forefather never imagined people so nutty as to want to impeach a vice president). If they go after President Bush, expect Cheney to be standing on the sidelines the whole time saying, “Yes! Soon the power will be mine! Then I will kill you all! Muh ha ha ha!” It would be very distracting. And, if the Democrats were successful in removing President Bush, there would be no way they could then stop President Cheney before he used the office of the president to harshly punish all his enemies. It would be both horrific and awesome.
If they go after Cheney first, it will be even more fun. Constitutionally Cheney gets to preside over his own impeachment since the vice president gets to preside over all such matters in the Senate (the only exception is made for the impeachment of the president). That means he could rule his own trial with an iron fist!
CHENEY: You spoke out of turn, so you get handcuffed for an hour to the Chimp of Punishment!
SENATOR: But the chimp likes the bite!
CHENEY: Exactly! Muh ha ha ha!
CHIMP OF PUNISHMENT: Eee! Eee!
Cheney would be able to draw the whole thing out just to torture Senate Democrats until his term naturally expired (or he and Bush form their dictatorship).
I really don’t see a downside to this; it’s just going to be lots and lots of entertaining news cycles. So let’s start pressuring the nutroots to do this by acting like we’d really hate it.
Because I’m bored.
Your plan seems pretty well thought out, but I do think it’s a little late.
After all, since Rove resigned I’m pretty sure Cheney is already in charge. I mean who else could be?
Remember when Cheney was President for a Day? Well, I heard from an anonymous (though usually very unreliable) source that neither he nor Bush ever signed the piece of paper that made Bush President again.
I thought it was the American Way to routinely and randomly impeach and hang members of Congress to keep the rest in line.
President Cheney… that has a nice ring to it. It just rolls off the tongue.
I like the “Chimp of Punishment” idea too. I mean, who wouldn’t be scared to death of being physically bound to Hanoi Jane? Well, except for Ted Turner, but he was too insane to realize what he was doing at the time.
As for impeachment, that sounds like good fun to me. After all, Slick Willie (the ‘Teflon Don’ of the liberal mafia) demonstrated that the process is little more than a sick game show, where the accused gets to lie and redefine the language in order to seem less like a turd & more like a swinging bachelor.
Will Edwards channel all babies Cheney ate for the prosecution?
The monkey awaits.
http://img57.imageshack.us/img57/5350/smokemonkeyoy1.jpg
One thing I never realized until reading this post: the Nutroots are lolcats! It explains much!
I CAN HAS IMPEECHMINT?
CHENEY: You spoke out of turn, so you get handcuffed for an hour to the Chimp of Punishment!
SENATOR: But the chimp likes the bite!
CHENEY: Exactly! Muh ha ha ha!
CHIMP OF PUNISHMENT: Eee! Eee!
You know, I had become fairly jaded about reading online. For the first time in a long time, I just burst out laughing at this bit. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Thank you very much for some much-needed laughter.
Oh yes, love the Chimp idea, especially if he smokes. Perhaps a rifle in the other hand and he can double as Sargent at Arms?
Another thought: We conservatives could start the Impeach Chaney/Bush movement. That would really confound the nutroots! They wouldn’t know which side to be on.
President Cheney, by Grace of God Emperor of All Peoples and Punisher of Democrats and Other Idiots.
Yes. We must do it.
Please contact the Freemasonic Crusading Zionist Jewish Imperialist Capitalist Mossadnik CIAians and transmit the telegram of operative procedures for Operation Order 66 forthwith.
This proves it. The right-wingnuts have completely lost it, babbling parables and aphorisms in an attempt to be funny. The right wing opposition in not so much losing the fight as they are crumbling under the weight of their own lunacy.
[Parables and aphorisms? Someone has his Word of the Day calendar. -Ed.]