Ronin Profiles: Estella

Estella

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s Estella.


What’s the story behind your name? Some of my friends said I was a modern-day version of Estella, from Great Expectations. I’m not exactly known for my empathy, I suppose. Thus, “Modern Day Estella”
Where do you live? Just a small town in central Louisiana … but I’m one of those Katrina exiles from New Orleans. Most of my family moved back, but I opted out of living in a coastal bowl. Instead, I chose a nice little town where gentlemen carry your groceries to the car for you, and almost everyone has a gun rack and a hunting dog.
How old are you? 25
Tell us briefly about yourself. Wellllll, I’m a lawyer, and a former competitive rock-climber … fiscally conservative but socially libertarian … and a die-hard metalhead. I’ve played in several bands you’ve never heard of, and are probably glad not to have heard of.
For my 25th birthday, I got myself a s&w model 640 .357, and it’s my baby. My boyfriend’s dad is an instructor at the range, and I love going with him to shoot. There’s little better than bonding over revolvers!
I’m a member of the Federalist Society. I’ve read the Federalist Papers in their entirety several times.
And I want to start a movement to bring fun, excessively violent games back to P.E. in grammar schools. Life without dodgeball, melting candles freeze tag, tackle kickball, medic, and Death Soccer simply isn’t worth living. Do we really want the upcoming generation to be total wimps and hippies?
When I draw liberals, I always imagine them wearing pointy hats. Why is that? It takes a pointy hat to cover a pointy head I’d assume said pointy hat is made of tinfoil?
How long have you been reading IMAO? Since sometime around early 2005
What’s your favorite IMAO post? I love “In My World” and anything with Aquaman. Especially Aquaman having a bad day. And I like any about guns.
What’s you favorite political issue? Political corruption, specifically politicians who claim to be in it for the “little man” getting caught with their hands in the proverbial cookie jar. I also get pretty passionate about constitutional law debates. I’ve been involved in some Second Amendment cases.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. Nope, I don’t have a website. I’m somewhat of a luddite. My computer is a glorified typewriter with spotty internet access.
Where have all the flowers gone? Wherever they are, hopefully the so-called “flower children” will follow them, and never ever come back. Damn hippies. We need to come up with a way to use hippie-stench as a renewable energy source if they won’t simply disappear of their own accord. Nah, it can be a non-renewable energy source. Like the human goo from The Matrix … or Soylent Green! Yeah! A new use for the Green Party!


If you commented in the original post that you want to be included, you’re still in the running. Eventually I’ll have another post asking for who wants to participate, so keep reading. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards believes that “NFL” stands for “Nightly Fix of Lifetime“.

Kos Is Just Like a Pedophile

Kos has never really been a particularly smart person. His political insights are simplistic at best and more often than not just a hysterical reaction to something that made his wee brain mad (though often he’ll erase those later). Also, he never has incentive to be smarter because the Daily Kos comment system is designed to weed out anyone who might attempt critical thinking.
A while ago, he compared Republicans to the Taliban and Al Qaeda, his mind figuring, “Me no like Republicans. Me know me no supposed to like Taliban. So Republicans just like Taliban! Me figure how!” Of course, if Republicans were actually like the Taliban and Al Qaeda, then he’d finally spend time denouncing the Taliban and Al Qaeda.
Anyway, one guy said something, so Kos done figure that proved his point comparing millions of his fellow Americans to sub-human murders. But my real point is that Kos is just like a pedophile.
SIMILARITIES OF PEDOPHILES AND KOS
Pedophiles and Kos: Takes advantage of those with limited mental facilities.
Pedophiles and Kos: Shunned by most of society.
Pedophiles and Kos: Think their creepy behavior is justified.
Pedophiles and Kos: Make idiotic arguments to support their views.
Pedophiles and Kos: Common catchphrase: “Screw ’em!”

It’s Either This, or Take Up Needlepoint

Now that Alberto Gonzales has resigned, he’ll have a lot of time on his hands. How will he fill it? I speculate thusly:


  • Figure out why everyone keeps telling him they “don’t need no steenkin’ badges”.
  • Be seen in the same room as Speedy Gonzales to finally quell the rumors about them being the same person.
  • Make midnight prank calls to those jackass prosecutors who got so snippy about being fired.
  • Team up with Rumsfeld & Rove to form a Rush tribute band.
  • No, I meant the rock group.
  • Start a grassroots organization dedicated to bringing back the IMAO podcast.
  • Keep playing Minesweeper 8 hours a day, just like when he worked for Bush. That game is like CRACK, I tell you!
  • Accept the role of the hilariously mis-matched Hispanic sidekick in the remake of “Dirty Harry“.
  • Hang out in the Home Depot parking lot with the rest of his family.
  • Write his obligatory insider tell-all book, tentatively titled “Hasta la Vista, Bushy!”
  • Subtitled “Pendejo Estupido”
  • See if Fred Thompson is interested in making an Affirmative Action hire.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go see if he’s got my lawn mowed yet.

The Hate-Filled Lefty Meets Fred Thompson




Which Facts Are Most Factual?

Fred Thompson will be announcing in less than a week, so we all must prepare. First off, I’d like to know what are your favorite Fred Thompson facts. You can look either here on IMAO or at a more nicely presented list here. I ask because I want to do some more facts merchandise to get your sweet sweet money. Muh ha ha ha!

Daily Fred Thompson Fact

Silver Age Fred Thompson could easily destroy mountains with a single punch, but the current Fred Thompson, while still the world’s most powerful politician, is considerably depowered.