Ronin Profiles: Rick

Rick

Let’s meet some more IMAO readers. Today, it’s Rick.


What’s the story behind your name? What can I say but that it’s the name Karl Rove assigned me when I was born. I just noticed recently that there is another Rick on here, so I will be changing my name to Raving Lunatic. How do I come by that? Because my raving lunatic ways. They keep the crazies away. Or maybe it’s the guns…
Where do you live? Goldsboro, NC. Home of Seymour-Johnson Air Force Base and the freakin’ awesome F-15E Strike Eagle
How old are you? A psychotic 38. Some days I feel like I’m 11, others I feel like a salty old codger who’s discovered young punks on his grass.
Tell us briefly about yourself. NC Native. Former musician. Private Pilot. NRA Life Member. Math Wizard. God’s gift to Structural Steel Estimating. Super Stud (okay, I made that up). Brief enough?
Name a situation in which you’d expect someone to exclaim, “This looks like a job for Aquaman!” I dunno, I’ve never been that drunk.
How long have you been reading IMAO? About 5 months (thank Michelle Malkin). I came over once before, a little over a year ago, read a couple of posts, and said “This crap is stupid.” It must have been an off day for us both!
[We don’t do smart crap. -Ed.]
What’s your favorite IMAO post? Know thy Enemy and In My World are pretty dang good
What’s you favorite political issue? Isn’t that sort of like asking which limb you enjoy having amputated? I care most about 2nd Amendment rights, National Security, and reducing that monstrosity we call the Mafia… oops, I mean the Federal Government. Illegal immigration ranks up there, too.
Do you have a website? If so, please tell us briefly about it. Yuppers, I’m one them there amateur bloggers. It’s at 360.yahoo.com/rwoolard69 and it’s called the Bodega of Babble. Of particular interest to you Frank, in all your worthy ninja worship, would be the entry Baby Ninja Strikes. The blog mostly consists of me being a smartass about politics and vainly attempting to be funny, plus political cartoons. And the occasional raving lunatic rant.
Do you think IMAO is balanced enough in its opinions, or is it too balanced? I think it’s a little too balanced. We here at the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy are beginning to think you aren’t a real right winger. As per the recent Republican fundraising letter I received, “We’re beginning to doubt your credentials.” You’re beginning to sound an awful lot like a monkey-faced liberal, and quite frankly, we’re tired of it. Get it together, son!


If you commented that you want to be included before, you’re still in the running. You can also comment in this post; just make sure you fill in your e-mail on the comment form (only I can see it so you don’t have to worry about getting spam). Eventually we’ll get to everyone. Thanks to everyone who has participated so far!

lolterizt! Part 10

Once again, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.


americans steal.jpg
bass tube.jpg
costume party.jpg
home alone.jpg
islamic hendrix.jpg
remember we parked.jpg
sand gotz a flavor.jpg


Reader submissions:
From FormerHostage:
nofair.JPG
From Sir Andrew of GOPedia:
in your klan.jpg
From HandsomeBill:
in your senate.jpg
Two from Erik Wit:
sign.JPG
sling.JPG
PRODUCTION NOTE: When creating lolterizt! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.
Send your submissions to lolterizt-at-gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

Obama Always Says the Smartest Things About Foreign Policy

Obama says our current campaign in Afghanistan consists “solely of air raids and bombing of civilians.” What else should our military actions consist of, though?
And don’t start thinking Obama doesn’t like our military; he just loves it so much he has trouble properly expressing himself.

New Job Ideas for Karl Rove

Since Karl Rove is going to need a new job, I was thinking of some he might be good at.
POSSIBLE NEW JOBS FOR KARL ROVE
* Dementor
* Denny’s night shift supervisor
* The guy who puts down puppies at the pound
* Ring wraith
* Pre-school teacher
* Cthulhu stand in
* Bond villain
* Serial killer
* Monster under the bed
* BET programs director
* Seal clubber
* Pirate
* Emperor

Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards doesn’t play jumprope, since there’s no rope thin enough for him to jump over without tripping.
Bonus fact from Lethbridge & Stewart:
John Edwards sulked in a darkened room for three days when he heard Reese Witherspoon was the new face of Avon.

Humorless Politicians

Dean Barnett wrote an interesting post about how robotic politicians often seem. Excerpt:

It’s weird about politicians and TV. Off screen, politicians are often witty and engaging people. But on TV, most of them religiously and rigorously stay on message, even if the message is a hollow, unfunny and inscrutable one liner.

One big thing I hate about politics is how inhuman politicians feel they have to act in the public eye or otherwise they’ll get attacked. That’s why they’re always sticking to their talking points like some talking points programmed robot that barely inputs what other people around it are saying.
It’s time for a human politician! One who would say stuff like what we would say to each other or write on blogs (well maybe not this blog). Someone who doesn’t worry that some people might get offended or take a joke the wrong way, because if someone starts to make an issue out of something he says, he’ll say, “Stop being such a whiny little girl!”
And, really, there are a lot of people in politics right now who need to be told to not be such whiny little girls.

Know Thy Enemy: Anti-War Activists

“There is nothing more despicable than those who, ignoring the call to fight, decide simply to nip at the heels of their betters,” Popeye once said about anti-war activist. Everyone is annoyed by them, but what are they? I sent my crack research team to find out all they can about them. Here’s what they found:
FUN FACTS ABOUT ANTI-WAR ACTIVISTS
* The first anti-war activists were angels in Heaven who cautioned God against sustained hostilities against Satan. God cast them into hell for the high crimes of being weenies. He also sent Satan to hell for the lesser crime of defying Him.
* What makes someone an anti-war activist? Perhaps war frightened him as a child. Or he’s just a self-important douche.
* When threatened, the natural response is to fight back. In contrast, the natural response of an anti-war activist is to annoy and pester those who would fight back. Once again, he’s a douche.
* As a child, anti-war activists usually start out by protesting the card game War.
* What does an anti-war activist think is important enough for people to die for? Only his own ego.
* Helping end a war makes people feel important. Most do that through fighting our enemies, but the anti-war activist only has yelling and sign waving skills, so he sticks to that to feel important.
* Why doesn’t he wave signs at the enemy? Because they would shoot him. And who could blame them?
* If you find yourself surrounded by anti-war activists, make war sounds to scare them away.
* Is an anti-war activist more motivated by hatred of their free country or from love of its fascist enemy? Scientists have yet to determine an answer.
* The easiest way to tell a male from a female anti-war activist is that only the female ones are lesbians.
* Just because an anti-war activist prefers to wave signs and annoy America when America is threatened doesn’t mean he hates America. It means he really hates America.
* America also hates him.
* An anti-war activist can be defeated through reasoned debate or fire. Fire is more effective.
* Why do anti-war activists hate America so much and want to see it humiliated on the battlefield? They hate a country that is so wealthy and civilized as to allow someone as useless as themselves to exist. They don’t hate America; they hate themselves.
* So desiring to see America defeated on the battlefield, anti-war activists have thought of fighting along side America’s enemies. The idea was rejected when it was determined that would take real convictions and not just an ego trip.
* How do anti-war activists have so much time to march around and wave signs? Due to continuing workplace discrimination against egotistical douches, they remain largely unemployed.
* In a fight between anti-war activists and Aquaman, Aquaman would beat them to death with one of their own minibuses. Hey, he did fight the Nazis.
* You can protest an anti-war through war.
* The movie Star Wars caused anti-war activist to envision what war protesting could be like in the future. None of them could come up with anything other than more yelling and sign-waving, though.
* It is uncertain what anti-war activists consume to continue their existence. Some scientists believe they actually turn annoyance into sustenance.
* The easiest way to defeat anti-war activists is to declare war on them. You can then easily pick them off while they protest anyone of them that tries to fight back.
* It’s said that if you punch an anti-war activist, it brings you good luck. Many say that was a superstition started just because people liked punching anti-war activists anyway.
* They tried protesting the cola wars, but they gave up when they got thirsty.
* Anti-war activists feel that Vietnam was their biggest success. They hope that the countless slaughtered after America’s retreat knew that at least they were helping some privileged Americans feel good about themselves.

You Mean It’s a Complex Situation with Both Negatives and Positives?

So Der Spiegel has an article about how things aren’t as bad in Iraq as many people think. After the New York Times did an editorial say we could win there, I guess being positive about Iraq is the new fad for liberal newspapers.
NEWSPAPERS: “I hope you weren’t taking all of our negative, one-sided coverage of the war seriously; there’s actually some big progress there.”
PEOPLE: “I only bought you for the comics.”
NEWSPAPERS: “You can actually get those online now.”
PEOPLE: “Well then screw you.”

Hillary Clinton “Obey or Be Destroyed” Ad

Gearing up for Iowa, Hillary Clinton has finally decided to be completely honest with the public in her new ad:

(original source)

Daily Fred Thompson Fact

Cars should stop and look both ways for Fred Thompson before driving through a crosswalk.