So, apparently a lot of the data people used to “prove” global warming is complete crap. I already knew the “science” based on the data was crap, but apparently the data used for it was wrong even on their own crap standards. So, 1934 was the warmest year for the past century… however it is someone determines the average temperature for a year.
But don’t let that stop us from panicking and overthrowing our economies.

Although technically still at war – since they only have a cease-fire & not a peace treaty – South Korean President Roh Moo-hyun and the North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il are now scheduled to begin a 3-day summit meeting on August 28th in the North Korean capital of Pyongyang.
If we could bug the place – which I’m sure ‘lil Kim will do anyway – here’s a few choice phrases I’d suspect we’d hear:

• “I’m going to shoot the next person who quotes from Team America!”
• “Who ordered the Dachshund, lettuce, & tomato sandwich?… oh… well… then who DIDN’T order one?”
• “Love your hair! Who’s your poofer?”
• “Look, why don’t we just settle this thing with a game of ‘DMZ Frisbee’?”
• “You rook ronery…[BANG!… thud]”
• “You want to buy nukie for cheap?… No, I mean the atomic weapon…”
• “Hey Kimmie! Tootsie called… she wants her glasses back!”
• “Beer bong! Chug! Chug! Chug!”
• “Please, Roh, don’t tell the Americans that we’ve discovered oil here.”
• “Don’t sweat it, Kim, it’s not like Americans could find North Korea on a map, anyway.”
• “So… how’s your Dong working these days?”

Or maybe they’ll just sit around discussing how worthress Arec Barrwin is.
[BANG!]
[thud]

Mexico apologizes for booing Miss USA.

Do you think the first time some guy in Japan dressed up in dark clothes and snuck through the shadows to use kung fu on his enemies he had any idea of the effect he’d have on American cinema?

Obviously, the best solution to our illegal immigration problem is for Mexico not to suck so much. Then again, it’s real easy for America to say, “Don’t suck!” when, being America, we succeed without even really trying.
That got me thinking: How does Canada do it?
Yes, they suck in comparison to America (as does every country), but while there is plenty of immigration from that country, it’s not like there’s people running across that border every day to get whatever below minimum wage job we have here. That implies that Canada actually has some sort of industry to sustain itself. I don’t know what — nor do I really care — but it would be nice if they showed Mexico how to do that. Sort of an Economics 101 for countries that aren’t the U.S. If Canada can have an economy and the whole place is basically a tundra, then Mexico should be able to figure something out.

If you go to Saudi Arabia, they may take your Bible. So, if you were planning on doing Bible studying in Saudi Arabia, you may have to change your plans.
I guess one solution is to bring two Bibles. Then when they take one Bible, you can be like, “No! Not my Bible! Whatever shall I read?” but you’ll secretly have another Bible. I guess that’s kind of like lying — which the Bible forbids — but then again their stealing your other Bible — something also forbidden by the Bible — and two wrong make a right.
Another idea is to also bring a vial of holy water. Then, when one of them tries to take your Bible, you yell, “Get away from me, heathen Moslem!” and throw the vial of holy water in his face. Then he’ll scream and fall to floor as it burns away his skin. That’s because it was really sulfuric acid and not water at all, but they won’t know that. That’s always a funny trick.

I noticed we have an ad for liberty maniacs appearing sometimes.
And the kicker is, they are selling Ron Paul for president merchandise.
I might have gone with ‘lunatics’ instead, but ‘maniacs’, isn’t that fitting?
I guess it’s bad to talk about advertisers, though. Any advertisers reading this please ignore this little observation.

Captain Ed has found that imwithfred2008.com directs people to the Ku Klux Klan. Oddly enough, the site is owned by someone with a record of donating to the DNC and liberal organizations.
So why would a liberal white supremacist support Fred Thompson who is conservative and likes all races? Isn’t the obvious choice for that person Ron Paul?

Why is it that anti-war vets mention their service so much? There was a guy on O’Reilly last night who was for convincing people not to enlist in the military, and every other thing out of his mouth was, “I’m a nine year vet!” Here’s a video of Jon Soltz trying to say Hillary is a friend of the military, and he keeps mentioning “I was in Kosovo!” and “I was in Iraq!” And, of course, there’s John “I Served in Vietnam” Kerry.
It seems a little… insecure.

Lately there’s been like all these atheist books about how God is stupid and bad, and then religious people have books about how God is awesome and cool, but no one ever says stuff like, “Yeah, God’s okay… but He’s not HDTV.” God’s just someone everyone seems to either love or hate.
I wonder how God treats atheists after they die; that has to be awkward:

GOD: Behold! It is I!
ATHEIST: Uh… am I dead?
GOD: Yep.
ATHEIST: And You’re God.
GOD: Correct-o-mundo.
ATHEIST: Oh… crap.
GOD: Yeah, I know. Anyway, for not believing in Me, you get eternal torment.
ATHEIST: That seems harsh.
GOD: I guess, but I don’t make the rules.
ATHEIST: I thought You did make the rules.
GOD: Don’t tell Me what I do; I’m God.

And if God does look like Morgan Freeman, that’s really going to suck for members of the Ku Klux Klan. That’s why you have to be careful what you believe and who you associate with, because otherwise the day you die could be a pretty bad day.

Mitt Romney responds to attacks.

Rachel Lucas caught this one. Listen to what Obama says at about 1:10 on this video:

He says he wants to get us on the “right” battlefield, but what the hell is “Pockiston”? Was that the region conquered by Jenjis Khan?
I’m starting to think this guy is so dumb that he should be stuck in Iraq.