Lately there’s been like all these atheist books about how God is stupid and bad, and then religious people have books about how God is awesome and cool, but no one ever says stuff like, “Yeah, God’s okay… but He’s not HDTV.” God’s just someone everyone seems to either love or hate.
I wonder how God treats atheists after they die; that has to be awkward:
GOD: Behold! It is I!
ATHEIST: Uh… am I dead?
GOD: Yep.
ATHEIST: And You’re God.
GOD: Correct-o-mundo.
ATHEIST: Oh… crap.
GOD: Yeah, I know. Anyway, for not believing in Me, you get eternal torment.
ATHEIST: That seems harsh.
GOD: I guess, but I don’t make the rules.
ATHEIST: I thought You did make the rules.
GOD: Don’t tell Me what I do; I’m God.
And if God does look like Morgan Freeman, that’s really going to suck for members of the Ku Klux Klan. That’s why you have to be careful what you believe and who you associate with, because otherwise the day you die could be a pretty bad day.
“It’s Good”
Me and the old man are gonna have it out when I expire, but I’m hoping we can sip on some brandy when it’s all said and done.
“But I could find no proof that you existed.”
“As Old Nick about Pascal’s Wager when you get to Hell. Satan gets such a giggle out of people asking about it and he’ll explain it to you in excruciating detail.”
That’s why you have to be careful what you believe and who you associate with, because otherwise the day you die could be a pretty bad day.
Frank J – Is this why you won’t get behind a Ronin reunion?
To quote Homer” “What if we picked the wrong religion? Every week we’re just making God madder and madder”.
I’m pretty much counting on Him (if He exists) having a sense of humor. Otherwise? Well, see you in Hell.
Frank J – Is this why you won’t get behind a Ronin reunion?
Far be it from me to answer for FrankJ, but allow me to answer for FrankJ.
Would you want to hang out with, or even meet, the people who come here?
This is a bit reminiscent of Bruce Jay Friedman’s play “Steambath”, in which God is a Puerto Rican steambath attendant. Good play.
Veeshir, all people who come here are RONIN. So Bitchy Non-Ronin can change their name to “Bitchy Ronin” and come to the reunion.
Oh, and…”What does God need with a Starship?” -Captain Kirk.
It takes a lot of hubris on man’s part to state that he doesn’t believe that the Creator exists. We will find out that He does indeed…
//…otherwise the day you die could be a pretty bad day.//
As opposed to what, it being one of those really fun days?
Jimmy – You are wrong! I am Samurai! Why do you dishonor me?
Then you are a mindless slave of your shogun, thus unworthy of honor.
Jesus is just alright with me…
Thought I’d clear that up for anybody that was wondering. Gonna go spark up now.
I dont care what they may say…
I dont care what they may do…
I dont care what they may say…
Jesus is just alright…
When I die, I’ll be hanging out in Purgatory with all of my Irish buddies, playing poker & drinking whiskey….
Jesus, he’s my friend; Jesus, He’s my friend
He took me by the hand; led me far from this land
Jesus, He’s my friend
“May you be in Heaven an hour before the Devil even knows you’re dead.
Old Irish Blessing
How to keep in touch with your Father -Knee mail. (it’s bad but true none the less)
Oh God, ussjimmycarter. “hubris n: exaggerated pride or self-confidence often resulting in retribution.” You mean like the kind GOD dishes out?
And Bitchy…I just thought you’d feel better and be less, well, bitchy! Gusiamus, or something, to you that serve. RONIN!
seanmahair, you took the words out of my mouth, er… keyboard. When I go I hope to goto the Irish Heaven, like in the Simpson’s. Bid all peace love and understanding.
Aw, I was hoping that God would make the atheist sit facing the corner, wearing a big DUNCE cap, for all eternity… … … … … … …
An old Steve Martin bit. The athiest dies and heaven is full of angels with harps, pearly gates, the whole bit.
” Oh, wow! In collage they told us this was all bullshit!. Well, I’ll just go on in and…
What? I wasn’t that bad. Come on. How many times did I take the Lords’ name in vein?
A million six? Jesus Chri….”
“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” 1Jn4:7&8
Seems to exclude the option of middle ground.
Too bad it’s so hard to love for real…like 1 Corinthians 13 style love. That’s difficult.
So God is…schizophrenic?
That would explain a lot.