[High Praise! to JeffersonFan]
This one’s definitely in the running for the “Satirical Story I Most Wish Were True Award” for 2013.
From the Daily Currant
New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg was denied a second slice of pizza today at an Italian eatery in Brooklyn.
The owners of Collegno’s Pizzeria say they refused to serve him more than one piece to protest Bloomberg’s proposed soda ban, which would limit the portions of soda sold in the city.
Bloomberg was having an informal working lunch with city comptroller John Liu at the time and was enraged by the embarrassing prohibition. The owners would not relent, however, and the pair were forced to decamp to another restaurant to finish their meal.
Witnesses say the situation unfolded when as the two were looking over budget documents, they realized they needed more food than originally ordered.
“Hey, could I get another pepperoni over here?” Bloomberg asked owner Antonio Benito.
“I’m sorry sir,” he replied, “we can’t do that. You’ve reached your personal slice limit.”
And yeah, it gets even better (NSFW because of crude language on the part of Mayor Mudsucker).
i read this a few days ago. initially i thought it was true. YGDFT!
the real reason New York pizzerias ration pizza to a one-slice-per-person limit is because those thieving libertarians stole it all to horde for themselves. Clearly the pizza should be taken from those according to their ability and redistributed to those according to their need, except fat people, because Bloomberg is tired of looking at them.
“From my cold, greasy hands!”
Bacon to jw!
http://tinyurl.com/YGDFTYLTATSOTE