(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment)
Rummy says that the US plans on pulling 7000 combat troops out of Iraq in 2006. Mostly because Iraqi security forces will be trained up enough to do most of the terrorist-shootin’ themselves by that time. Hard to believe it’s taking them this long to improve their marksmanship, but apparently Iraqis have worse aim than Ted Kennedy approaching a bridge, so we just have to make do with what we’ve got.
Meanwhile, we’ll have 7000 troops with nothing to kill, so we’ll need to find something else for them to do until Iran mouths off one time too many.
Here are my suggestions:
- Send them to rescue those seven stranded castaways. It’s been 41 years already. Let’s bring ’em home.
- Rub salve on Frank J’s rash.
- Invade France – one can hold the gun while the other 6999 collect white flags from all the trembling surrender monkeys.
- Since Democrats are all pissed off about wiretapping terrorists, we’ll just have the soldiers stand next to the terrorists and eavesdrop, instead.
- Use them to re-connect that loose wire on your computer’s motherboard.
- No, wait… that’s solders. Nevermind.
- After the ’06 elections, the DNC is gonna need some logistical support to deliver their extra supplies of special “weeping hankies”.
- Have them walk around New York City and gut-punch every lazy, overpaid Transport Workers Union bastard that went on strike.
- Rebuild the levees in New Orleans.
- Preferably with the bodies of the lazy, overpaid Transport Workers Union bastards that went on strike.
- Get ’em all likkered up & suggest that it might be fun to try pushing the UN Building into the East River… “it’ll be sorta like cow tipping!”
- Give them each a pointy stick and have them poke at Howard Dean to see if they can get him to make that funny sound again.
- Give them a Holocaust Cloak and a wheelbarrow and have them storm the castle.
Or maybe we could just buy ’em a beer & send ’em home to spend time with their families.
AFTER they finish with Howard Dean.
Maybe we could give each of them a sorority paddle so they could whack Saddam on their way out?
//* Get ’em all likkered up & suggest that it might be fun to try pushing the UN Building into the East River… “it’ll be sorta like cow tipping!”//
OMG people would PAY big money to see this event!! We could make a REALITY Special out of it, see which UN delegates comes out of the building shaking their fist first, or guesstimate how much US gold and dirty magazines we find stashed in the rubble.
I definately agree with “buy ’em a beer & send ’em home to spend time with their families.”
We could have the ones who don’t have families deal with Howard Dean, The TWU, the UN, and then storm the castle…
I think I hung up my Holocaust Cloak – UNDER – my Invisibility Cloak… So the castle storming might have to wait until I find them again….
They could get together and try to pull the bug ourt of Hillary Clinton’s ass. Though, being as it seems to be growing exponentially in proportion to her delusions, they need to be careful of the gravity well.
“Give us your gate key.”
“I have no gate key.”
“Buck, tear his arms off.”
“Oh, you mean this gate key.”
I say we just bring them home via the scenic route.
I figure, they can either head west and we can pick them up when they reach the Mediterranian or head east by south east and we could pick them up in the Gulf of Oman.
Either way would work for me.
You could add the Louisiana demoncrat politicos to the levee-shoring-up … and perhaps several surrender monkeys … would surrender monkeys surrender to rising water, thus re-inundating New Orleans? Hmmm …
Put ’em on the U.S.-Mexico Border with orders to shoot to kill anyone crossing from the south.
“what he really said was ‘to blave’ and as we all know to blave means to bluff, so you were playing cards”
“liar!”
“There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.”
“- Surrender.
– Oh, you mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.”
Wait, how did this become a Princess Bride quote-a-thon?
Not that I mind, of course.
Inconceivable! Oh goodness, thanks for the laughs y’all.
“Worst day of my life EVer!”
Oops. Wrong movie quote thread. Idiot!
let’s find the guy that attacked us on 9/11 – osama bin laden!
wait never mind, apparently f***ing idiot fascist bush doesn’t care about him, so you don’t either.
hope you get killed by the next terrorist attack in the US, because it’s your fault.
Joe – Osama died in Tora Bora in 2002 and what’s left of his corpse is rotting under 1000 tons of rubble.
Meanwhile, might I recommend something from the self-help section of your local public library to assist you in overcoming some of your anger issues?
Strunk & White’s “Elements of Style” wouldn’t hurt, either.
I said ask the 7000 what they’d like to do, seeing how its all volunteers, and they’ve been risking their asses for us, and the Iraqis….I bet they would come up with something like….not until the jobs done here!