Why have dozens of Iraqis stopped working in low-level positions for Al Qaeda? Is it because they don’t want their faces cut off with piano wire, or is there something more? After diligent research, I’ve discovered there are actually a variety of reasons:
- No falafel-flavored donuts in employee break room.
- Tired of asking customers, “you want IED’s with that?”.
- Insanely high co-pay for doctor visits involving bullet removal.
- Annoying woman at corner desk constantly ululating to herself.
- Sick of being reminded about the damn TPS report cover sheets.
- When hired, they were lied to about the 401(k) including a 73rd virgin.
- Every five minutes, have to stop working to shake sand out of the keyboard.
- Cards in Windows Solitaire not in Arabic.
- Soda machine constantly out of Mecca Cola.
- Only management is allowed to drive company camels.
- Stray goats keep wandering in off the street and eating the timecards.
- Have to provide own beheading knife.
- Not allowed to take a personal day to stand in line for new Harry Potter book.
- Office secretary no longer falling for the old “my 43rd wife doesn’t understand me” line.
- Stray, timecard-eating goats protected by company sexual harassment policy.
Still beats working in the Microsoft Security Response Center, though.
Most of them just don’t like wearing the paper hats.
“You want IED’s with that”: soon to be a catch phrase for the Baghdad McDonalds employees. When they start growing like weeds there, that is. Oh, and today Rush had a parody with Bill Clinton singing to Edwards: You aint woman enough to take my man. The Harvey Effect is unstoppable.
I hear they don’t even have a casual day. Everyday with the slacks, ties and bomb vests. Talk about traditionalists.
Shouldn’t that be “casualty day”?
*No matter how many IED’s I built or children I tortured, Micheal Moore ALWAYS got the Employee of the Month Award and the stall right out front for his camel.
Texocon, everyday is Casualty Day. God bless our troops and AQ’s stupidity. =+)
Wow, you gotta visit the website for Mecca Cola. I thought it was a joke at first, but it’s not.
http://www.mecca-cola.com/en/company.php