|
The dust hadn’t even settled and no formal report as been issued on the cause, and liberal blogs are already abuzz about how the Minneapolis bridge collapse is Boooosh’s fault. It goes something like this:
1. Boooosh had an illegal war in Iraq.
2. War draws money away from states.
3. States no longer manage their infrastructure.
4. Bridge collapses.
I don’t think they’re looking at the whole picture though. The bridge collapse is obviously the fault of Kevin Bacon. This is why:
1. Kevin Bacon starred in Footloose.
2. The movie inspired Americans to rise against the system and dance.
3. This carefree attitude gradually evolved into structural engineers feeling life is too short to properly inspect bridges.
4. Bridge collapses.
I tell you, nothing in this country that goes wrong isn’t somehow linked to Kevin Bacon. Someone has to stop him.
Update: Hello Puppy Blender readers! before you leave don’t forget to read some Fred Thompson Facts!
I’ll bet that Fred could stop him.
I can’t wait for the liberals up here Minnesota to start squealing for more big government because of this awful mess! Hey, can we send Kevin Bacon over to Iraq and can a Muslim shake hands with him? What happens if he kills a muslim “evil doer”? He could make up for all the havoc he’s created here in the US!
Yay! USSJC posted. We know he’s alive. Now that we are done worrying about him, we can deal with Mr. Bacon. Mmmm.. Baaacon.
The dKos version:
1) Bushco/Halliburton wages illegal war on Islam.
2) Keith Ellison (D-AlQaeda) elected to congress.
3) Boooosh hires Jooooos to pretend to inspect bridges in Minnesooota.
4) Bushco/Halliburton/Zionist conspiracy causes bridge collapse.
Speaking truth to Power!
lol, how did we not see it before?? =P
Now that I have had time to think about it, this makes perfect sense. The bridge collapsed due to extreme vibrations caused by everyone kicking of their Sunday shoes at the same time.
The reason the bridge collapsed: Minnesota recently surpased the Soviet State of Washington in “liberalness.” Keven Bacon contributed to it by appearing in “A Few Good Men” which caused all families with would-be-Marines to leave the state, causing the imbalance.
Let’s not forget, it’s already been established Kevin Bacon is linked to Al Qaeda
I am still trying to figure out how to squeeze the Jews into this.
It’s my fault — I missed the last meeting. Ironically, I was at a bar mitzvah.
Update: 1 in 4 bridges suck in USA. Bush’s fault for wasting money in Iraq and helping Iraq build bridges and nice stuff and letting USA crumble.
Will…you…PLEASE…make…me…LAUGH, Sarcasm Man ?? Try something like this: “1 in 4 bridges suck in the USA because 1 in 4 people suck. All of them are were Bill (“Cheeseburger”) Clinton supporters.”
How many times have we been over this ground?
Yes, I know, the States insist that federally-subsidized funding is the only way that these issues can be adequately addressed and contained.
But the bottom line is: footloose and fancy-free DOT inspectors are a national plague.
…Their cushy union jobs in massive abandon warehouses do nothing, except promote the “hippy-hippy” shakers and “shake-shake-shakin'” Baconites; the type that perky, young, schoolgirl sockhoppers love.
We must all come together, in a townhall meeting, a consensus, or a caucus, and we must legislate these damned, immoral, swivel-hipped hooligans right on out of the county!
For goodness sake.
Here here, Kenny. How ABOUT that total reliance on the Federal Government? Nice copout for all of us STATES, isn’t it? “It’s the Federal Government’s fault for not giving us enough money.” The same thing is happening in public education. Total incompetence. Never mind, Sarcasm Man. On this one, you can’t make me laugh.
I heard it was amy klobutcher’s BIG head that made the bridge collapse. Or it could have been Mike Hatch’s big fat EGO….
Yay! USSJC posted. We know he’s alive. Posted by: DesertElephant on August 2, 2007 05:57 PM
Here here!! You had me worried you big goof!!!
I thought you folks cared about the U.S.? Apparently you only care about bridges in Iraq. You people aren’t patriotic you are just full of shit.
Some of you are even whining about leaving bridges up to the states? With no fed money most red states would be pathetic highwayless and bridgeless wastelands while giant money making California would be doing just fine.
Is it just me, or is Sarcasm Man’s trolling ability declining? It’s like he’s not even trying anymore.
Sarcasm Man hath become a parody of himself.
I could make a better case for my stubbing of my big toe being Bush’s fault then this bridge thing! Here I go (with a point by point):
1. Bush Invades Iraq.
2. Fox News is turned on.
3. Liberal says equivalent of “Bush Lied People Died”
4. I get up to get something to drink.
5. Lingual smackdown commences from the mouth of some guy I haven’t seen before.
6. Smackdown distracts me from the impending wall.
7. Big toe stubs against wall.
See? I could tell another one where Bush is even more directly responsible for my woes, even if it is a lesser woe of me spilling water on myself, during a state of the union.
Of course some people will blame it on my clumsiness but that couldn’t possibly be it, its all Bush’s fault!!!!!
Wait, Wait. Let me try.
I live in the minneapolis area and am a Republican.
So it must be my fault.
1. I use the toilet everyday.
2. All that human grumpage ends up in the Mississippi
3. That grumpage builds up on the bridge slowly over time destroying the base.
4. Bridge comes down.
AR – you forgot to throw in a Halliburton, a Dick Cheney is the real President and if the Supreme Court hadn’t “given” the election to Bush in 2000 the bridge would still be standing! And then there the obligitory Ohio voter fraud, Yellow Cake, Joe Wilson/Valerie Plame, Bush National Guard, Bush Drunk Driving, Abu Grab, blah, blah, blah…
Sarc Man, did you even read the article you linked to?
Two years ago, the U.S. Department of Transportation’s National Bridge Inventory database said the bridge was “structurally deficient.” The bridge received a rating of 4 on a scale of 0 to 9. A bridge receives a rating of 4 when there is “advanced section loss, deterioration.”
So, if anything, the Eeeeeeeevil Bush Administration® TOLD them their bridge was messed up, and they still didn’t do anything about it. No mention of any Iraq-related budget cuts. Try harder.
Has anyone blamed Global warming yet? ’cause I don’t think we should rule that out at this point…
or maybe Haliburton. But then, Haliburton is responsible for Global Warming…so…
naw, it IS Bush’s fault. for some reason, I’m sure…
No bridge for oil!
Hold up, SarcasmMan……
Money-making California….Money making California………? Dude, aren’t they the ones with the HUGE mongo bill? They owe a ton of money, how’s that “money making”?
Just look at that smirk on Kevin Bacon…he not only caused it, he enjoyed it.
Oh, and Sarcasm Idiot. Unless you are a structural engineer with some background in bridge sufficiency ratings, shut your gob hole. You and the other know-nothings of this world who don’t understand data and its proper use aren’t capable of making things better. BTW, the spending on transportation infrastructure under Bush-hitler-chimpy-McStoopid is at record levels, but the jackasses in Congress earmarked the crap out of the legislation on worthless pork that only makes us less safe. Now crawl back into your hole and look up the word “sarcasm” in the dictionary. It doesn’t mean what you think it does…or am I just being sarcastic?
Isn’t it clear, this is the work of Lord Voldemort’s Death Eaters? They’ve been known to do this sort of thing before.
Where is Rosie in all this?
Because now that we know steel cannot melt, there must be something about steel cannot be affected by water too??
Did an email go out to all the Joooos living in Minn to tell them not to drive that day, before Boooosh sent the Army Corps of Engineers to blow it up??
Oh and if you live in Boston, better buy some diving gear…Big Dig anyone??
BTW Sar-chasm, most of us in flyoverland actually live in what are known as donor states…that means we pay more in federal gas taxes than we get back so that we can throw money into the rat-holes of the donee states like New York and California (which in turn mostly waste it). It’s you who wouldn’t have a path to ride your scooter on if it weren’t for us, Skippy. And you’re supposed to be a teacher. Read a book sometime you freakin’ moron. But other than that, have a nice day!
Can a Muslim eat Kevin Bacon? I mean, he’s only two degrees from soy bacon, right? Would they have to cut him up into Kevin Bacon bits first?
You’ve all got it wrong. According to a liberal buddy, Bush himself was seen sawing at the bridge supports with a carbide blade. Bringing the bridge down occupied the news networks long enough for him and Cheney to have a couple of belts of sauce and shoot somebody in the face with a shotgun without being noticed.
I believe they shot an “evil-doer” but I wouldn’t swear to it. I hope so.
Did anybody else see the gravelings darting about?
It must have taken a whole team of reapers to clean that one up.
I rec’d this E-mail from a friend (engineer Tony P) after sending him a link to this post:
1-That Bridge is a key link to transport of agricultural commodities from that region. You should of seen the agri-futures going nuts minutes after it collapsed.
2-ADM (Archer Daniels Midland) processes most of the corn in the U.S., thereby their transport process weakened the bridge.
3-Cattle eat corn
4-Soft drink sweeteners come from corn.
5-ADM made fat asses of Americans from greasy corn fed beef and soft drinks. That increased the AL coefficient (Ass Loading) beyond design limits; stressing the bridge to the point of collapse. So you can’t blame the Engineers.
ADM bastards, they collapsed the bridge with fat people!
Man, all this is so GD stupid. I just feel terrible for the injured and deceased. Their families are devastated. Instead the Liberals fixate that GW is going to visit them (like a real human being would do), and capitalize on the photo-oportunity. Damn, I’m really beginning to hate my country! It’s full of idiots that point fecal stained fingers all day long. I’m sure they would of been even happier if it would of been caused by terrorists.
Yes, federal money that could’ve gone for transportation and infrastructure was wasted…
on things like a loincloth for a nude statue in Birmingham, AL, the National Storytelling Festival in Jonesborough, TN, and other such cr*p. Domestic spending far outpaces spending on defence, diplomacy, and foreign aid. Our failing entitlement programs take up the bulk of it.
However, it will likely be discovered that all the money in the world couldn’t have prevented the collapse. Not that it would ever stop a liberal from blaming Bush.
… and did you hear? All the Jooos avoided the bridge that day…
“No bridge for oil!”
Classic – LMAO
Somebody put it on a shirt!