If you look up “Fred Thompson,” the dictionary says, “How the hell do you not know who Fred Thompson is?!” Then the dictionary gets so mad that it clamps on to your face and smothers you to death.
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I looked up John Edwards in my dictionary and it gently attached itself to my groin. Not that I’m a book lover or anything.
I looked up Hilary and the dictionary ate my kids. It then brought millions of yuan seemingly from nowhere and then declared my house under communist rule.
I looked up Jimma’ Carter. The dictionary dug a whole, jumped in and pulled the whole in after itself. I’ve never seen a book commit suicide and die of shame before.
So today I hosted my Fred! Thompson Event and it was pretty fun, though I wish more folks had shown up. But one pair of “walkers” stopped by asking us who Fred Thompson was. My hubby very patiently explained that he was the former senator for Tennessee, a republican candidate and then I pointed out my T-shirt. Well the guy asked in a quizzical tone “punching hippies?” and I kind of rolled my eyes and smiled, saying “it’s humor” but then his lady friend who’d asked if Fred was a Christian said, “why you got mean things like punching hippies?” as she was walking away with a big glare on her face. Again I had to say “humor…satire???”
libs are so retarded….
Good one USJC.
I looked up Ted Kennedy in the dictionary and it waddled over to the bar, mixed itself a Long Island Ice Tea (long on the island if you get my drift) and then fell asleep in the chair, eventually sprawling on the floor, snoring and drooling.
I looked up John Edwards in my dictionary and it gently attached itself to my groin. Not that I’m a book lover or anything.
I looked up Hilary and the dictionary ate my kids. It then brought millions of yuan seemingly from nowhere and then declared my house under communist rule.
I looked up Jimma’ Carter. The dictionary dug a whole, jumped in and pulled the whole in after itself. I’ve never seen a book commit suicide and die of shame before.
Best one so far!!! Nice.
I looked up Dennis Kucinich and the dictionary hopped onto an airplane to Syria and puked in the airbag.
When I looked up John Kerry in the dictionary, it said “See: Vietnam”. When I looked up Vietnam, it said “See: John Kerry”.
So today I hosted my Fred! Thompson Event and it was pretty fun, though I wish more folks had shown up. But one pair of “walkers” stopped by asking us who Fred Thompson was. My hubby very patiently explained that he was the former senator for Tennessee, a republican candidate and then I pointed out my T-shirt. Well the guy asked in a quizzical tone “punching hippies?” and I kind of rolled my eyes and smiled, saying “it’s humor” but then his lady friend who’d asked if Fred was a Christian said, “why you got mean things like punching hippies?” as she was walking away with a big glare on her face. Again I had to say “humor…satire???”
libs are so retarded….
I looked up Rosie and the dictionary grabbed a baseball bat and beat itself repeatedly until it opened to the word “lesbian”
Good one USJC.
I looked up Ted Kennedy in the dictionary and it waddled over to the bar, mixed itself a Long Island Ice Tea (long on the island if you get my drift) and then fell asleep in the chair, eventually sprawling on the floor, snoring and drooling.