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  1. Johnny needs a new agent: He thought he had a lock on the voiceover for Knight Rider, but was told by his agent that the director said the car’s name wasn’t “Kithe” and they didn’t think a computer could have a lisp.

  2. Gee, John Edwards seems to have had a lot of disappointments, hasn’t he? Maybe when the campaign is over, he can see what Hollywood has to offer – now. With all the gay programs in production, he shouldn’t have a problem.

  3. Since Neil Patrick Harris came out of the closet, writers are furiously working on a spinoff, tentatively titled “How I Fooled Your Mother”. There’s a part for a pillow-biting best friend who shows him the ins and outs of conning desperate fat chicks with ticking clocks, and it’s got your name all over it Senator…

  4. Come and knock on John’s door…..
    He’s been waiting for you……
    Where the kisses are his and his and his,
    Three’s company too.
    Come and dance on on John’s floor……
    Take a step that is new…..
    He’s got a loveable space that needs your face,
    Three’s company too.
    You’ll see that life is a frolic and laughter is calling for you……
    Down at our rendez-vous,
    Three’s company, too!!!!!! (that whole last paragraph didn’t even need changing)

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