According to the U.N. weather agency — which we can only guess is filled with scientists… probably ones that hate Jews — 2010 tied for Warmest. Year. Ever. It was almost one whole degree Fahrenheit higher than the average. So like if it should have been 65 degrees out, it was instead 66. This will kill all life on earth starting with baby polar bears.
So what do we do? We all need to live in huts and stuff like it’s medieval times. The world will be made up of loosely knit together states run by warlords who will conquer their enemies and make sure we’re not using the wrong light bulbs. And anyone who tries to drive a car will be burned as a witch. This will keep carbon from getting into the air. Instead, it will stay on the ground and we’ll be able to gather it up and fire it into space so it never bothers us again. Then we continue riding horses and hunting with spears until the temperature gets back down to 65.
Sounds like a plan.
I’m sure they love using that phrase “on record”
Sounds like Kenya. Coincidence?
It was -40 up here last night. They can like blow me!
Fire it up in the air? How? With Witchcraft, that’s how! He’s a witch! Burn him!
and what do we burn, aside from witches? MORE WITCHES!
I’m not gonna live in a damn hut again. They are horribly non-bullet-resistant, and completely un-fire-proof.
As conservatives we’re not bright enough to figure out how this works. We’ll need the liberals to move into the straw huts first and show us how it goes.
Then we just burn them out. Sure it’ll release some CO2 but it won’t have any effect on the climate, thus we’ve justified our actions.
Burning witches sounds like it would put a lot of carbon in the air
I worry about global warming every morning as I am scraping the ice from the windsheild of my SUV. I also warm it up before I leave for work.
Can hippies be turned into biofuel, or do they emit to much carbon when burned?
#9, Don’t burn hippies. Ever. That is not the proper way to dispose of hippies. They are full of all kinds of dangerous chemicals from years of putting said chemicals into their bodies for fun. So many chemicals that they don’t like having extra chemicals on their food, less it pushes them over the edge. A burning hippie has enough THC, ecstasy, various opiates, loodes, and other such to stone everyone in a five mile ratios. While that may sound like fun, that includes people driving cars, and possibly flying overhead, as the stench of burning hippies can infiltrate air filters.
Actually, if you burn a witch (or anyone else for that matter) it would reduce the overall carbon footprint. Say you burn a hippie at the age of 24, you may put out a few pounds of CO2. But the average american puts out 18.9 metric tons per year. Which would save the world over 900 metric tons over the average life expectancy of said hippie. He should thank us for saving the environment.
Happy hippie burning.
Maybe I can get a little more mileage from a cartoon I posted a few months ago. The folks at the Watts Up With That blog enjoyed it.
WHN Reports on the Climate Change Prognosticator
So Mr. M, what do we do with worthless hippies once they have been punched. If we dispose of them in landfills, we will run out of room for the Styrofoam and ink. If they are too dangerous to burn, and too expensive to shoot into the sun (oops a gun metaphor), do we just have to leave punched hippies littering the streets causing global warming and generally stinking up the place?
Minnesota is -40 today and Chicago -20. They picked an awesome day to publish this.
Tied for warmest year ever? Dang it, this just isn’t good enough people! I know I can count on all of you to do your part this year to put us over the top.
2010 – hottest year ever!!!
Together We Thrive!
I still think we are on the verge of the next ice age. I think our children or grand children may end up burning every kind of carbon they can to try and reverse it.
That is no argument against bankrupting oil producing nations like Putin, Chavez, Iran and the Saudis.
Composting would be the enviormentally friendly way to dispose of freshed punched hippies. I also heard if you give them enemas you can bury them in a shoe box.
When I was a kid, we had to read a book called: The Boy Who Cried
Ice AgeGlobal WarmingClimate Change. If I remember riight, the moral of the story was, if you’re dumb enough to listen to this kid, you’re probably an Obama voter.I was skeptical till I read this:
Significantly cooler weather was registered mainly toward the end of the year, especially in northern Europe, parts of Russia and in the eastern United States.
Even though they conveniently forget to mention what “ever” means, now that I see they were able to determine that it gets colder towards the end of the year, I’m totally convinced….that these people really suck at propaganda.
# 17, “ever” is analogous to Clinton’s “is”. No words have absolute meanings, they are whatever is currently convenient. Therefore, by their own definition global warming does not exist. Smoke pouring from ears and springs popping out all over the place. Remember the old movies when a robot shortcircuited, the tv screen would go to two panels as from the perspective of the robot with the horizontal control going wacko.
“And anyone who tries to drive a car will be burned as a witch. This will keep carbon from getting into the air.”
Burning withches will just put more carbon into the air. Drown them in water from melted polar ice caps.
“So Mr. M, what do we do with worthless hippies once they have been punched.”
Feed them to baby polar bears who have migrated south because, you know, there are no more ice caps for them to live on.
Blast! Blast! And double blast! It’s a three-way tie. We’re becoming a nation of underachievers.
“Warmest year ever.” “Ever” being the key word. “Ever”, in climatology terms, means only about 150 years, which is about how long humans have been keeping records. The earth is 4 billion years old. 150 to 4 billion is like saying “this is the hottest one second I’ve seen out of the last year.” It means nothing. It means less than nothing.
I just read that Gingrich is considering a presidential run.
Note to Newt, my reaction to this news is a shake of the head, a sigh, and “Come on, man.” That is not good.
If this is the warmest year on record, then I’m getting a 1968 Eldorado. Just to help the global warming along.
Umm…like a little help up here in Minnesota? It’s -40 degrees and if we go outside for more than three minutes with exposed skin on our face it freezes and falls off! So like can’t someone send us gobs of money like a Katrina like emergency? I think people are being like raped and murdered inside the Metrodome or something, but gobs of cash would stop all of that and keep us warm and comfy up here until it warms up for our one week of summer in July. Please talk to Barry someone and get us our dough!
“Winter gettin’ colder, Summer gettin’ warmer”
-“American Ride” by Toby Keith
If I remember correctly, the bill to heat my house was still higher than the bill to cool it down wwwwwaaaaaaaayyyyyy back in 2010, bring on higher temps.
Where? Where was this the warmest winter ever? It just started on Dec 21st. We’re just barely into the first month of winter. Really. Who makes these pronouncements? Pee Wee Herman, George Sorosl, Rep. Cohen?
This will kill all life on earth starting with baby polar bears.
I’d start with the allegedly-human populations of Berkeley, San Francisco, Cambridge (Massachusetts), and Manhattan, myself. Then I’d kill the baby polar bears.
Liberals hate fire, obviously.
How to drive liberals crazy, No. 23 of 365
Conservative history:
Explain how conservatives are the primary drivers of man’s evolution. For instance, fire can only possibly have been discovered by a conservative unworried by liberal health and safety regulations. Moreover, by learning to cook meat, Early man made it more digestible, meaning he had more energy available to develop not only his “brawnpower” but his brainpower. If Homo Liberalis had gotten his way, fire would have been banned as a dangerous substance, and we’d still be living in the trees, chewing natural, healthy, raw vegetables, burping contentedly, and being ruled by a loud, gossipy matriarchy of Oprahs and Streisands.
I don’t see what’s so great about polar bears. Like all other bears and liberals, they are just giant weasels.
Every time they hold a Globull warmongering conference, there’s a blizzard. Every time they announce new record warm temperatures, the temperature drops to deadly levels. If they don’t shut up about this stuff, they’re going to cause another ice age!