“No gun for YOU, hippie!”
Presidential candidate Robert Francis “Beto” O’Rourke called the study “ridiculous”.
“I’ve been in the US Senate for a long time – in my mind – and I know how these things work,” said O’Rourke. “We pass a law, and people do exactly what we want them to do. There’s no arguing, no resistance, just compliance. Like when we raise taxes. The rich always just sit there and give us whatever money we want. It’s not like they hire accountants to exploit loopholes and off-shore tax havens. Pretty sure you have to be a Mexican drug lord before THAT makes financial sense.”
4th in the polls, but first in hating guns, Kamala Harris thought the study “exaggerated the challenges” involved in a firearms confiscation program.
“I consider myself an expert on guns,” said Harris, “and I’ve yet to hear someone that I’m not ignoring say otherwise. If liberals need guns to get the guns away from the gun nuts, we don’t need to give up our weed, domestic violence, and felony convictions to get those guns. We’ll just buy them off the internet. Ain’t no background checks on the internet. I could buy a machine gun off Amazon and have it in two days with free shipping if I wanted. Then I can go up to anyone I want and just point my machine gun at them and say ‘Hey! Gimme your guns!’ and they will, because that’s the law I’m gonna pass when I become President.”
“And I know it’s gonna work,” Harris said, “because we’ll be taking guns away from law-abiding citizens. Obeying the law is what they do. It’s not like we’re trying to take guns out of the hands of criminals.”
While the Democrats we talked to (most of whom wouldn’t agree to speak on the record after hearing that we knew about the “eventual confiscation” part) seemed unperturbed by the report’s warnings, psychologist and Second Amendment expert Robert Hartley explained that elected Democrats often suffer from “short-term thinking disorder”.
“I don’t know why,” said Hartley, “but most elected Democrats seem to have a hard time thinking past the range of their senses. They see something and they try to take it, like a toddler grabbing a Cheerio. They never stop to think that there might be complications.”
“All I can say,” Hartley concluded, “is that the first thing they’ll need to do is pass a new recreational water safety law, since studies show that gun registration laws tend to result in a sharp increase in the number of guns getting lost in tragic boating accidents.”
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No democrat candidate has yet come up with a plan to obtain the mass quantities of oven mitts needed for taking all the guns. Because they’re going to be hot. Real hot.
LOVE everyone s comments. Mine are censored due to living in fema region 2. Just saying….??????????????????AMERICA FIRST!!!??????????
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They are counting on the law abiding nature of the gun owners.
They had better not count on the citizens obeying the law. The law reads, “Shall not be infringed”
Good point. Resisting gun-grabbers trying to infringe on our rights IS obeying the law – the highest one in the land.
Um…”shall not be infringed” is law, and we’ve all been ignoring it. I have the licenses and permits to prove it.
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The beauty of satire such as this well written piece is that it is almost impossible to tell where the truth begins and ends and the satire is inserted.
And I am all for better boating safety laws as I personally had a bad experience that cost me all my guns and ammunition, lost in over 800′ of water. I don’t think I will ever get over the experience. Probably never buy another gun again.
You have to affirm you do not have mental problems or want to overthrow the country. Unless socialists lie (which they ALWAYS do) they cannot legally purchase a firearm. If they are politicians they could not pass a background investigation for a clearance either. The problem is everything is based on integrity and they have none.
When I started my job with the City of Boston, back in the day, I had to swear that I would not overthrow the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Oddly they didn’t make me swear anything about the USA.
It’s not a lie, because:
1) Crazy people don’t know they’re crazy.
2) They don’t think of it as overthrowing the country. When you have no respect for laws or morality, it doesn’t occur to you that doing things against the constitution is overthrowing it…
Hey, it worked in New Zealand. They’ve had almost 600 guns turned in since the order, out of an estimated 1.1 million.
Work in California with the required so called assault weapons registration law. I think it was something like one gun registered!
Left/Marxism or Liberal? .. I’ve been pounding this drum for YEARS!
1 – Race
2 – Capitalism
3 – Nationalism
4 – View of the USA
5 – Free Speech
6 – Western Civilization
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlIjMJBSnRE
Two Wings Of The Same Dragon: | Fire Breathing Christian
You need to put down whatever GOP supplied crack pipe you may have been regularly smoking and/or put down the Republican/Democrat, Left/Right paradigm tinted glasses you’ve been viewing the world through and just take a sec to look at the real world as it actually is.
Oh sure, it’s a hard first minute or two, what with your whole worldview likely to be rocked to its core as you come to realize that you’ve been embarassingly duped, played like a cheap violin, and spun like a top for years (likely decades for many of you) by your favorite talk show hosts, politicians, entertainers, and even many of your favorite pastors, but that’s how detox works.
Scott Buss
B.L.O.A.T.
I’m not sure of your view of the world, but I’m sure about how mine has migrated.
The elites (of both “parties”) are self serving, corrupt people seeking to further their kleptocracy.
The nation is destroyed and heading towards its inevitable self destruction.
Inevitable? I disagree.
Go Galt if you must, I’m gonna stay Taggart and fix the Rio Norte line.
I want you all to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window, open it, and stick your head out, and yell, ‘I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!’”
Starring the mad prophet of the airwaves, CLIFFY!
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Enforcing the 2A does not make Americans outlaws.