…But you can’t hold a whole City responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn’t we blame the whole City/State system? And if the whole City/State system is guilty, then isn’t this an indictment of our democratic institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg – isn’t this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to Chicago, but we’re not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!
…that both the Cubs AND the Sox are packing heat…on the field!
…that even the Mafia is too scared to go outside.
…Rahm Emmanuel stepped back, made some reasonable changes to the gun laws so that the average citizen had the right to carry, and stepped up enforement the way Rudy Giuliani did in New York. Bwahahahahaha. Now THAT’s funny.
Rham Emanuel spoke to the police union and said:Holy underwear! Sheriff murdered! Innocent women and children blown to bits! We have to protect our phoney baloney jobs here, gentlemen! We must do something about this immediately! Immediately! Immediately! Harrumph! Harrumph! Harrumph!
The mob bosses have asked Obama to sic to IRS on the lower level criminals.
…that Obama is sending in Joe Biden with his shotgun
…that Obama if going Bwahahaha… another chance to blame Bush.
…that thank god… something besides Benghazi, the IRS, AP bugging scandals
YGDFT!YLTATSOTE!
Crime Has Gotten So Out of Control in Chicago…
…we just have to repeat the punchlines we used for Oakland.
..they started outsourcing to D.C.
….something about Oprah being fat.
… that Rahm Emanuel was forced to declare Chicago a “Crime Free Zone.”
…Chicago criminals are moving to Detroit for some peace and quiet.
…that they’ve instituted a ‘Crime Tax.’
Crime Has Gotten So Out of Control in Chicago…
…they are thinking of asking for some commonsense crime control laws.
…even the Mob is asking for better policing.
…even the Cubs have managed a stolen base or two.
…stolen votes get re stolen right away!
…that they too have been placed on double secret probation.
…that even the dead Chicago voters are in on the plot.
…that local politicians no longer know which gangbangers to ask for a bribe.
Crime Has Gotten So Out of Control in Chicago…
…they are starting to eye some low level employees in Cincinnati to blame.
…The UN has visions of strongly worded letters dancing in their heads.
…they’ve run out of victims.
…the dead are almost tempted to vote Republican in the next election.
@rodney dill beat me to it.
Crime Has Gotten So Out of Control in Chicago…
…they have to ban locks so the criminals won’t sue anyone after hurting themselves breaking and entering.
… the politicians are jealous.
… and to prove this, thieves are allowing items that they stole to be stolen just so they can steal it again.
… but they still have a long way to go to catch up to Chocolate City. Gainin’ On Ya!
@walruskkkch – again.
…Rahm can’t say “Oh! Look Shiny” to distract the public…. everything shiny has been stolen.
@rodney dill I would have gotten away with it, except for those meddlesome kids!
…the return of the Blues Brothers has raised the moral standard of the city.
Crime Has Gotten So Out of Control in Chicago…
…25 thefts will only get you 6 to 4 years in the pen.
@walruskkkch – …and their dog.
Crime Has Gotten So Out of Control in Chicago…
…Obama is thinking of making it a model jobs program, at least someone is working.
…that fat, drunk, and stupid really is not such a bad way to go through life.
@rodney dill Did they own Scooby or was he a co-equal team member?
The Bears want a refund, but can’t get a quarterback.
Crime Has Gotten So Out of Control in Chicago…
…even the criminals aren’t safe.
@walruskkkch – I ront ro.
…that criminals are buying guns for personal protection.
…the money used for gun buy back programs was stolen…. at gunpoint.
…that the bacon that Harvey was going to award walruskkkch for #3 has already been stolen.
Crime has gotten so out of control in Chicago, Harvey has “punchlined” it twice.
@walruskkkch #27 – Willam Hanna once said Velma owned Scooby…
In my opinion the Warner Brothers do.
Crime Has Gotten So Out of Control in Chicago…
…they even stole the Scooby snacks!
…they grabbed a brew. Don’t cost nothin’.
…Those a$$holes must have stolen the wrong ******* exam!
…Rahm was quoted as saying, “The time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is me.”
…They took the bar! The whole ******* bar!
Kwame Kilpatrick has announce he’s running for Mayor.
Kwame Kilpatrick has announced he’s running for Mayor.
(corrected)
Crime Has Gotten So Out of Control in Chicago…
…They confiscated everything, even the stuff we didn’t steal!
…that Obama is opening an IRS recruitment office there.
@walruskkkch – shouldn’t that be walrusgggj?
Crime Has Gotten So Out of Control in Chicago…
… Obama spokesperson Jay Carney remarked, “What a shame that a few bad apples have to spoil a good time for everyone by breaking the rules.”
Man, Animal House quotes work wonders.
that it *does* pay, and without taxes, it pays better than legitimate business.
@rodney dill Yes, except it is from Craig Statler’s nickname by way of Chris Berman who mixed his song quotes.
One last Animal House riff.
Crime Has Gotten So Out of Control in Chicago…
…But you can’t hold a whole City responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn’t we blame the whole City/State system? And if the whole City/State system is guilty, then isn’t this an indictment of our democratic institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg – isn’t this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to Chicago, but we’re not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!
…that the police are stopping everyone coming into the city to see if they have a gun. If you don’t they give you one.
that Rahm had to admit, “I dropped the baby… I don’t know why.”
@DamnCat #46 – When the police stop you, if you haven’t had a crime committed against you to report, they commit one.
…that most of the punchlines used about Chicago crime are stolen from other sources.
…because the criminal community is finally seeing the benefit of the outstanding Community Organizing they had prior to 2008.
…that the rank of Mos Eisley was changed to second.
…that both the Cubs AND the Sox are packing heat…on the field!
…that even the Mafia is too scared to go outside.
…Rahm Emmanuel stepped back, made some reasonable changes to the gun laws so that the average citizen had the right to carry, and stepped up enforement the way Rudy Giuliani did in New York. Bwahahahahaha. Now THAT’s funny.
…
…Cubs fans have given up hope to be World Series Champions!….. no, that would require logic……
Crime Has Gotten So Out of Control in Chicago…
…The Cubs hope to steal a World Series this year. Probably end up the only people convicted of anything.
Yup: Rodney Dill is pretty much all over this one.
…there’s a new political party: The Scum of the Earth Libertarian Party. Because they’re all G damned ^^^#@ing thieves!
… they had to start sending their criminals to Washington.
…that the UAW is trying to unionize the thugs.
…that RoboCop took a job in DC.
…that the criminals have organized their own ‘hood watches.
…that people just throw money and jewelry on the street as they walk downtown so as not to be bothered by the actual ‘robbery.’
…criminals are filing for unemployment as their aren’t enough ‘jobs’ around to keep them ungainfully employed.
… cops have had started to actually investigate and arrest people.
Rham Emanuel spoke to the police union and said:Holy underwear! Sheriff murdered! Innocent women and children blown to bits! We have to protect our phoney baloney jobs here, gentlemen! We must do something about this immediately! Immediately! Immediately! Harrumph! Harrumph! Harrumph!
…the auction for the next presidential election has been suspended by ebay.
… that The Warriors don’t even want to come out to play-ee-ay
…Mob bosses have requested government funding to help reorganize crime.
… that Hillary actually thinks it matters.
…the marathon was canceled but the volunteers are still there passing out beers to the gangs running around beating up white people.
…Jay Carney was impressed but still denied any knowledge or involvement by the President, but he could not vouch for members of his staff.
…Satan asked one of his minions if there was an app for that.
…that Biden suggested saving the second barrel for yourself.
…that Jessie Jackson Jr. put up a billboard that asked if they missed him yet.
… that jihadis have been saying “Day-em, those guys are whack.”
Blues Brothers Bacon to walruskkkch!
http://tinyurl.com/YGDFTYLTATSOTE
… that K-12 is now K-11.
… that town ordinances are now town ordnances.
… that the town limits are now just a large chalk outline.
… that their new nickname is The City of Big Shoulder Holsters.
…..that the police have decided to go straight give up crime and start doing their jobs to see if it helps the crime numbers go down
….that Rahm put on his tutu and declared “I am the Premier danseur noble!”. Then wept uncontrollably and called for a ballerina uprising.
… it is now being franchised out to Washington D.C.
… police officers pay protection money.
…that rahm has been forced to spend hours on youtube looking for some right wing extremist videos to blame it on.
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