Things John Edwards is thankful for:
* Aquanet
* Pocket-sized mirrors
* Hair #56,823 (it’s his favorite)
* Silk
* Trailer trash juries
* Full-length mirrors
* Discreet, home-delivery of YM
* Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and Midol (you know what I mean, girls)
* Vaguely reflective surfaces
* John Kerry’s rancid unlikability, which kept John from becoming a one-term historical footnote like Walter Mondale.
* No, not the CBS news anchor that preceded Dan Rather. I think you just proved my point.
By the way, a shiny new donkey to the person who guesses John Edwards’s pet name for Hair #56,823.
John calls that hair ‘Lady Bird’ but he won’t tell anyone if it’s for Mrs. Johnson or Hank’s hound dog.
He calls it Harry, of course!
Close XMariner, but no donkey
He calls it Prince Harry
“Gaia’s Gift to Glamourous” is what he was murmuring while performing the pre debate primp in Vegas. of course he could have been refering to 56,824.
Myyyy Preeecioussss.
The Hair Apparent
It’s name is ‘nutmeg’, and it’s EVER so precious!
Its obvious: Babs.
After the incomparable Barbara Streisand. Silky dreams of one day being as outspoken and loved as her, as he sings to the mirror with a hairbrush as a mike to soundtrack to “Funny Girl”.
Larry and hair #56,824 is named Chuck
I wonder where Frank’s been all week? Probably at his relatives for Thanksgiving. Unlike Harvey and Spacemonkey, who are loved by no one.
John Edwards’s pet name for Hair #56,823 is “Miss Perky” and just like an invisible friend, it’s always there to comfort and reassure him when times get tough — such as when Teraaaaaza leaves the toilet seat up.
Banjo? Always on that guys knee.
/
Little John?
Tony (Manero) after John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. He loves the scene where Travolta spends an hour primping for his big night out. It was the movie that changed his life!
Spike.
Big John
He calls it “Pubie” becaue its the only one that’s, well, you know, down there, don’t make me say it, you know, near his lady parts.
Have an Evil day
Is it Silky, Randy or Pip?
It’s called “Presidential Hopeful Honey Blonde” of course.
“Blondie”
“Hillary” (because it won’t “stand down”)
“Fransesca” (because he loves Clint Eastwood in “Bridges…”)
Rosebud
I’m gonna guess Homer.
“Butch”
“Raoul”