There are some rumors that the Hillary is sitting on some dirt she has about Barack Obama. I think this is good for Obama because previously he seemed too boring and useless to accomplish anything that might be considered scandalous. Now he’s kind of interesting.
So what’s the secret Obama scandal? Here are some possibilities:
* He once participated in a cross-country, death-race.
* He’s secretly converted to Islam. His Muslim name is Ned Johnson.
* He’s really Hispanic.
* He once tried to assassinate the pope.
* He’s never actually done drugs. He just said he did so the other politicians would think he’s cool.
* He escaped a circus by using his ears to fly.
So what do you think the big Obama scandal is?
He was actually raised by Amelia Earhart in the South Pacific and participated in bizarre rite of passage ceremonies involving starfish, a lock of Amelia’s hair, and three other boys, one of whom looks remarkably like John Edwards.
He can’t dance, he’s a terrible basketball player, and he has no sense of rhythm.
He is the love-child of Shirley Chisholm and LBJ.
A nude picture of him disproves an urban legend about the physical charachteristics of black men.
He listens to Barry Manilow, loves the Green Bay Packers and likes to “test drive” his wife’s underwear…
I will add to hwy93 that Hillary took the pictures
let’s see… scandalous to a democrat?
humm…
cheating on your wife? no …
having sex in the oval office? no …
Pretending to be a hero so you can run for President? no …
having a gay call guy in your home? naw …
getting drunk and killing an innocent woman? not that either …
how about killing babies? heck no.
Must be that he is the love child between Fred Thompson and Ann Coulter, and is actually a staunch conservative in black face.
Perhaps she has proof that his wife is heterosexual. That would really tee off Hillary and her supporters.
He voted for Reagan – twice!
He’s not really his wife’s babies’ daddy.
Obama knows where in the world Carmen Sandiego is, but is covering it up until he gets a Sega.
Obama shot a man in Reno….just to watch him die.
Sounded like Urkel when he talked, until he took up smoking in his late teens. Now he just looks like Urkel. And smells like the foyer of a Greyhound station.
“He’s secretly converted to Islam. His Muslim name is Ned Johnson.”
Ned Johnson? And he wants to be President? That’s one heck of a pay cut!
(Ned Johnson, Head of Fidelity Investments)
He owns both Halliburtin and Blackwater…Mwuahahahaha
Obama was FOR the war in Iraq…AFTER he was against it.
I agree: the only scandal for a Dem is being even remotely nice to or anyway connected to a Republican.
…and, the number one “dirt” on Barry…
He was the original source for the “Banana Song.”
Obama-bama bo-bama banana-fana-fo-fama fe-fi-mo-mama OBAMA! as seen at:
del.icio.us/stingthebee
He reads IMAO
he’s not old enough to drive
he actually left a tip at a diner on the campaign trail
he would surrender to the wrong enemy
Unlike real Dems, Obama only wants to allow abortion up to the 39th tri-mester, rather than the 60th.
He smokes unfiltered Turkish cigarettes.
Barrack is the one who took Paulie’s thumb.
He’s never played anything better than Doom II on a SNES.
He’s the missing original member of Rage Against The Machine.
Which, given his inability to wear a flag, cover his heart or sing when the National Anthem is played, is probably not far off.
Let’s be honest, when Novak says a black democratic politician has a scandal and Hillary has an FBI file on it or something, he’s just playing the odds.
He has a small weener…
It’s a two-tier plan of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy. If the Republicans win back the House and he the Presidency, he and his Vice President will resign, giving the Presidency to the Republican Speaker of the House.
If the Democrats retain the House, he and his Vice President announce they are switching parties to Republican to reflect their real values.
He’s still in talks to switch parties yet remain President even if the Republicans get the House, but everyone knows the Republicans like keeping the Black Man down, Clarence Thomas being their token. However, Obama is counter offering with a bet that if the Republicans get back the Senate too he can keep the Presidency. Fueher Rove is thinking it over.
It’s a coup!
He had an otoplasty, they used to be big.
What exactly is a democrat scandal?
Only possibility would be that he loves the USA, and he’s already told us that’s not true.
Hockey is a rugged, hard-hitting, blue-collar sport, one which still adheres to an unwritten code of manly behavior, such as playing through injuries and standing up for oneself with violence. Obama may pretend to get it, Kerry-style, while sipping white wine in a luxury box; sitting rinkside and pounding the glass when the gloves drop? He’d be the one shying away in horror.
Hockey would be Fred Thompson’s sport – if Fred Thompson’s sport wasn’t already skeet-shooting live hippies. [NOTE – Fred Thompson neither wants nor requires a shotgun for this sport, as it’s more fun to make the hippies explode with his withering stare.]
I think Obama’s scandal is that he refuses to watch Gossip Girl with John Edwards when they have Senator Sleepovers.
Ready?………… Obama is really Helen Thomas in disguise……….no realy.
Obama’s original job? Understudy for Howdy Doodie.
But then he got tired of just being a puppet.
Barac Obama is not an actual black man. During one of his frequent childhood trips to Hawaii he went tanning with John Edwards.
Was molested as an intern by Bill Clinton and was too afraid to come forward. That’s the real reason Hillary doesn’t want to come forward with the “scandalous information”.
He’s actually Hillary’s evil twin?
Thinking back to a list that was making the rounds on the internet back during Bill’s Presidency, you know the one of all the presidential couple’s “enemies” that died mysteriously, the big “scandal” may simply be that he’s been added to the list…
He is a distant cousin to Rush Limbaugh.
Bill Clinton is Obama’s biological father.
He is actually white.
He is the white guy who got into Harvard by pretending to be black.
He is just a mid-level state politician that lucked into being the Junior Senator from the State of Illinois by a series of fumbles and stumbles with out-right chicanery that a if written into a movie script would be thrown back into the face of the author by any Hollywood producer, and after having felt that a run of luck like that could continue, decided to flip a coin to see if he was to sink his life saving into the Power Ball or to run for President of the United States.
He lost the coin flip.