According to reports, Mexican drug smugglers are using catapults to fling marijuana into the U.S.
National Guard troops operating a remote video surveillance system at the Naco Border Patrol Station observed several people south of the International Boundary Fence preparing a catapult and launching packages over the International Border fence, according to U.S. Customs and Border Protection.
This sounds like some Mythbusters episode. And, it sort of was. It was 5½ years ago and the episode was Border Slingshot
Can illegal immigrants fire themselves 200 yards across the border and into the United States with a slingshot so accurate that it can land the human projectiles safely on a carefully placed mattress?
So, why have we gone from shooting Mexicans across the border to shooting pot across the border?
Economics. With the current job market, there is a bigger demand for pot than there is for Mexicans. We don’t need as many Mexicans to do crappy jobs. We have pothead Americans that will do that.
But, the slingshot, catapult, or trebuchet could be used in another way. So far, it’s only been used to send things into the U.S. Why not use it to send things out of the U.S.?
Useless things. Like what, you ask?
- Obama.
- People that voted for Obama.
- Season nine of “Dallas” (if you are my age, you’re still pissed about that).
- The ending of LOST
.
- Kos.
- MSNBC.
- Dennis Kucinich.
- Harry Reid.
- The New York Times.
- Yappy little rat-dogs.
- Oprah.
- Julian Assange.
- Janet Napolitano.
- Al Sharpton.
- David Duke.
- Cecil Newton.
- Liberals.
- Ron Paul.
- Ron Paul supporters.
- Meghan McCain.
- The weird chick from the Progressive commercials.
- The Geico Gecko.
- Any Aflac commercial that doesn’t have either Earl Billings or R. Lee Ermey in it.
- People that call soccer “football.” (Yes, I know, and I don’t care.)
- Berkeley, California.
- Most of the rest of California.
- Moderates.
We don’t have to fire them into Mexico. We could fire them into Canada. Or the ocean. Or, if the slingshot is powerful enough, back to their boyhood home. The landing might be a little rough, though. Be sure to bring a pillow, Barack.
Good list but I don’t think Al Sharpton or Meghan McCain would get much air-time.
Alan Grayson
Nancy Pelosi, if she isn’t already covered under “most of the rest of California”
Keith Olbermann
Lawrence O’Donnell
Ed Schultz
Rachel Maddow
anybody with the surname “Ryan” who has ever coached NFL football
Rahm Emanuel
Pat Quinn (governor of Illinois – two years ahead of me in the same high school – a pompous ass then and no different now)
puffy-faced shrew Joy Behar
Whoopi Goldberg
Barbara Walters
Maureen Dowd
Frank Rich
Richard Cohen
Even though this particular group is pretty much covered, I was hoping it would have been specified: hippies.
Then there’s also Pelosi
Soros
Most “academics”
Maxine Waters
And the list could go on and on and on… Etc
I’m not going to try writing it all down.
Lets convert our printing presses to pesos then start catapulting piles of cash down there so that all Mexicans can be rich! What do you mean it wont work? Its basic been fed policy for the last 10 years here.
Canadian who call America racist when you talk about the border. I’m sure those bitchy Canadian hippies will do real well in Juarez.
Dude, I liked the end of Lost.
Can’t we capture one of those catapults and use it to more quickly deport the illegals? Sounds like a lot more fun than my “Slow boat to the southern tip of Mexico” method.
if it’s worth doing, it’s worth overdoing. Not just a catapult a turbo diesel, rocket assisted, laser guided mega-pult with an advanced payload capacity capable of accomdating any 5 of the above “passengers”
I will donate a few shiny objects to attract the liberals. Rounding them up is hard since the free cheese hand-outs ended.
Shooting Mexicans at the border? sounds good to me.
I don’t care what we use to fire “undesireables” into Mexico, as long as it has Frank J’s very gay “pew, pew, pew” sound every time it fires. That will like be so awesome!
I’m surprised that I’m the first to mention Jane Fonda and Michael Moore, though in moores case we’d have to get a bigger catapult.
Isn’t this why the Navy developed the new super rail gun? I can’t see any other tactical use for it.
As for things to launch, you know this is coming:
– Blue football fields
I’d also send:
– Any fereignor who comes here and complains about the US
– Anyone using the words “inclusive” or “diverse”
– Anyone who doubts that the US Marines are the most elite fighting force ever assembled
– Justin Bieber
– Justin Bieber again
– Clamshell manufacturers
– Anyone who questions the use of the border catapult
How about some things that are highly useful?
Chris Matthews’s drool cloth
Keith Olbermann’s unibrow waxer
Dinosaurs with laser-guided rocket launchers at the Mexican border
Nancy Pelosi’s botox doctor
The “Mute” button whenever a liberal speaks
A good sense of humor whenever a liberal speaks
A tissue to wipe your eyes from mirthful laugher whenever Al Sharpton tries to act as though he has a clue about anything
Blegojevich’s hairpiece manufacturer
Monkeys that throw poo at Dems
Does Kenya even have pillows?
Someone told me we are not supposed to stick the mattresses to the landing spot using spikes. I did not know that.
All homosexual women
All homosexual “males”
Is it possible to block the incoming marajuanna using athiests as missiles? Just curious, cause they have no other useful purpose.
Olive pits, can’t be having them dern things messing with democrates you know.
Ex-wife #1
Ex-wife #2
Ex-Wife #3…
– the U.N. building, brick by brick.
@Plenty-O: That’s really drastic. On whom would we rely for our show tunes? Let’s send Barny Frankster and leave it at that.
Why do you want to be catapuling America’s Most Courageous Congressman?
I bet you hate the Keebler elves, too.
I say we use the rail gun that the Navy has developed at Dalgren VA. We can shoot all kinds of stuff at them with that…mmm ya’ know, like Joe (Biteme) Biden.
@Arik: America’s Most Courageous Congressman?
How did you finish typing that comment. I was laughing so hard, I think I hurt something.
1)Cats…Duh!
2) Massachusetts Congressional Delegation, minus Scott Brown (for now)
So, all that remains in your ideal country is a lunatic fringe? Brilliant! I’m sure there will be plenty of stability in a country without any political moderates.
[No, we’re getting rid of moderates … and the lunatic fringe. You know. Liberals. Just conservatives would remain. And that would be totally awesome!
Remember, Moderates gave us John McCain running as the GOP candidate. How’d that work out? – B.]
I really didn’t mind John McCain that much. Relatively speaking, he’s not so bad.
I so want a catapult at the castle in the country with my machine gun turret and muti-lasers.
I have always wanted to breed Golden Retrievers so I’d have an unlimited amount of blivet material. We could set it on fire and launch it at the drug dealing “dinosaur bags” across either border. Fire, feces and a foul stench. It would be very helpful in identifying the miscreants. Some trained dogs would be on that like Obama on investment.
Plenty’O: I only typed it: at least I didn’t write the thing.
Don’t you wonder what one needs to do to be named the most courageous Congresscritter? I mean, he represents a district so safe (read:stupid) that they would elect a rabid wombat if it had a ‘D’ after its name. Perhaps he is referring to his exploits with the Pit of Olive… Or maybe the time he saw the UFO…
There was a guy who said that Cleveland was the only major U.S. city to elect a man mayor as a joke. To which the only proper reply is “Cleveland is a major U.S. city?” But now, twenty-five years later, the joke is on America.
What I want to know is why wasn’t that National Guard camera attached to something like the Phalanx so it could shoot whatever they launched over the border into little itty bitty pieces? What good is something that you can watch people doing illegal stuff without having the ability to rain massive quantities of lead upon the offender?
Umm…I LIKE the Progressive lady.
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