Because still no baby for me. Tomorrow will be a week past due. I was planning to be taking time off right now, so I’m only kinda like half here. I… I don’t know how to end this post, I’m too spaced.
My wife went to 42 weeks and my son was still less than 7 lbs.
It doesn’t help to say it but a lot of the time the due date is wrong by a couple weeks.
Jeeze, just look at this guy. He can’t yell and abuse the thing out of the womb, can’t command or demand that the thing be born like NOW (when the man insists that it happens) and he goes all spacey. PFFFFFFT!!! Big conservative macho male. NOT! He’s whining so much you just might think that he does have a cooch and actually is the one who’s overdue. Maybe he needs to rent The Sisterhood of The Travelling Pants, brew some flavored tea, break out the kleenexes and have a good ol’ estrogen-filled cry. That’s right, wanna-be dad, your man-card gets revoked. No cigars, steaks, or beer. Just an endless stream of Riki Lake, Special K, Tampax, and men’s figureskating for you, Mary! Now of course, like an awkward dyke you might try to over compensate by making with the hyper-butch posturing. But nice try. We’ll be throwing a baby shower for YOU and making sure YOU know how to get a good “latch” when the kid needs feeding. I can’t begin to imagine how this mariposa’s post-partum depression will manifest itself. Either a shriekfest during a bubblebath or he’ll drive a Bobcat, bucket up, through the plate glass window of a lingere store in a fit of gender confusion. Either way, we’ll probably see him on an upcoming episode of Cops as one of those shirtless schlubs being led out of a double wide with mascara and lipstick on his face looking dazed from all the Olde English and meth he did in the previous 72 hours.
@4 Absolutely! Thanks, Harvey. Is overnighting expensive? Babies are so cute. I’m sure you’ll agree since I’ll be bringing her over to you whenever I’m too busy, too crazy or too spent to take care of her. I bet you can’t wait. You’re gonna love her!
Seriously, jw. I’ve been enjoying Janeane Garofalo’s ultra-creative little comments. She’s kind of combination of Bunkerhillbilly, Dennis Miller, IowaHawk and Harvey – with a dash of Frank. And definitely a CRACKPOT!
Are you suggesting that our Son Of Bob has made a not-so-innocuous but masquerading comeback? If so, he needs to be elevated and entered into the permanent “I Hate Frank” Hall of Fame category.
BTW, I failed to mention there’s a wee whiff of ussjimmycarter in her pronouncements, as well, albeit without the “head rippin’ & stuffin.”
Man, how I am living rent free in all of your undersized heads! I guess all that fortified wine you folks have been guzzling is finally catching up with you. But, too bad for you, I’m not anybody else but me. I mean, Y.U.C.K. YUCK if I was some dumb wingnut!! UGH!! I have to say, I mentioned this to Ben and he couldn’t stop laughing. Mary Lynn too. They also find it funny how this supposed dad is going all manic depressive with the “I’m gonna yell at the baby and call it stupid” one minute and “oh jeeze, the thing’s not here yet ” the next. Big, wuff tuff, gunloving macho guy having a spaz because his wingnutlet won’t be born when he demands. I mean, really?? Just grow a vag and be done with it. Or borrow Chaz Bono’s. He’s not using it much these days.
Sorry Sarah K and Frank. Wish I could send some of this barometer dropping weather we have here to y’all. Of course the Tornados might come as well but ……there you go. You can’t make an omlette without breaking eggs. Any cook will tell you that -Col. Mustard, Clue.
Prayers for you and your wife, Frank J.
Nope. No baby here either. 😛
My wife went to 42 weeks and my son was still less than 7 lbs.
It doesn’t help to say it but a lot of the time the due date is wrong by a couple weeks.
Rub some bacon on it
@2 – Do you want me to have one delivered to you? I think StorkEx does overnights…
i got a couple of baby birds if that helps.
according to my reading it is sarahk who is supposed to be fed up with being pregnant at this point, not you, frank.
@5 – What a horribly sexist attitude 😛
@6 – harvey, what can i say? i’m a horrible person.
Harvey is right that’s a sexist attitude.
~ for jw
@7 – I heard you’re a thieving, scum of the earth Libertarian (Bacon to Me!)
http://tinyurl.com/YGDFTYLTATSOTE
Maybe Frank IS pregnant.
@9 harvey- sounds like me. and proud of it.
Jimmy!
No, Oppo, I’m a Crackpot Son Of A Bob.
Jeeze, just look at this guy. He can’t yell and abuse the thing out of the womb, can’t command or demand that the thing be born like NOW (when the man insists that it happens) and he goes all spacey. PFFFFFFT!!! Big conservative macho male. NOT! He’s whining so much you just might think that he does have a cooch and actually is the one who’s overdue. Maybe he needs to rent The Sisterhood of The Travelling Pants, brew some flavored tea, break out the kleenexes and have a good ol’ estrogen-filled cry. That’s right, wanna-be dad, your man-card gets revoked. No cigars, steaks, or beer. Just an endless stream of Riki Lake, Special K, Tampax, and men’s figureskating for you, Mary! Now of course, like an awkward dyke you might try to over compensate by making with the hyper-butch posturing. But nice try. We’ll be throwing a baby shower for YOU and making sure YOU know how to get a good “latch” when the kid needs feeding. I can’t begin to imagine how this mariposa’s post-partum depression will manifest itself. Either a shriekfest during a bubblebath or he’ll drive a Bobcat, bucket up, through the plate glass window of a lingere store in a fit of gender confusion. Either way, we’ll probably see him on an upcoming episode of Cops as one of those shirtless schlubs being led out of a double wide with mascara and lipstick on his face looking dazed from all the Olde English and meth he did in the previous 72 hours.
@14 JG
go away
@JG – MORE CAPS AND EXCLAMATION MARKS, PLEASE
@4 Absolutely! Thanks, Harvey. Is overnighting expensive? Babies are so cute. I’m sure you’ll agree since I’ll be bringing her over to you whenever I’m too busy, too crazy or too spent to take care of her. I bet you can’t wait. You’re gonna love her!
RUMOR ALERT: Harvey is going to give Anonymiss a baby!
@18 – Who said anything about GIVE?
I run a respectable black-market baby-selling operation over here.
NO FREE SAMPLES!!!
Seriously, jw. I’ve been enjoying Janeane Garofalo’s ultra-creative little comments. She’s kind of combination of Bunkerhillbilly, Dennis Miller, IowaHawk and Harvey – with a dash of Frank. And definitely a CRACKPOT!
I don’ t blame him for not coming out. I’d stay inside if I had a choice too.
Jimmy!
I think Janeane Garofalo sounds an awful lot like Son of Bob’s “A minute with…” pieces
@20 i find her to be carpenter in drag.
@19 – I hope you like getting paid in cookies – otherwise someone is going to be disappointed.
@24 and @19 yep. Cookies. Lots and lots of cookies.
Hmmm. What should I name her?
@22: DamnCat!
Are you suggesting that our Son Of Bob has made a not-so-innocuous but masquerading comeback? If so, he needs to be elevated and entered into the permanent “I Hate Frank” Hall of Fame category.
BTW, I failed to mention there’s a wee whiff of ussjimmycarter in her pronouncements, as well, albeit without the “head rippin’ & stuffin.”
@26 I think she sounds just like my sister Unny. http://www.nukingpolitics.com/2013/04/this-blog-doesnt-need-princess-it-needs.html
@25 – you should name her Cookie
@26 – yes, that is what I am suggesting.
Man, how I am living rent free in all of your undersized heads! I guess all that fortified wine you folks have been guzzling is finally catching up with you. But, too bad for you, I’m not anybody else but me. I mean, Y.U.C.K. YUCK if I was some dumb wingnut!! UGH!! I have to say, I mentioned this to Ben and he couldn’t stop laughing. Mary Lynn too. They also find it funny how this supposed dad is going all manic depressive with the “I’m gonna yell at the baby and call it stupid” one minute and “oh jeeze, the thing’s not here yet ” the next. Big, wuff tuff, gunloving macho guy having a spaz because his wingnutlet won’t be born when he demands. I mean, really?? Just grow a vag and be done with it. Or borrow Chaz Bono’s. He’s not using it much these days.
@JG – what did I tell you about the CAPS and !!!!s? Step it up, will ya?
Sorry Sarah K and Frank. Wish I could send some of this barometer dropping weather we have here to y’all. Of course the Tornados might come as well but ……there you go. You can’t make an omlette without breaking eggs. Any cook will tell you that -Col. Mustard, Clue.