So Eric Holder has a great explanation of why he’s secretly signing search warrants on journalists… he just doesn’t want the American people to find out about it.
Yes, Holder is calling for an off the record meeting with the press to discuss these issues. The New York Times and the Associated Press are refusing to attend because, as much as they love to be water carriers, this is way too stupid even for them.
So Obama was supposed to have the most transparent administration ever, and instead has the one most transparently up to something. Still, I’m pretty curious what Holder is planning to say at this off the record meeting.
WHAT ERIC HOLDER IS GOING TO SAY AT THE OFF THE RECORD MEETING
“This was all done by my evil twin, Hric Eolder.”
“Hey, I don’t know about these search warrant; I just sign anything anyone puts in front of me. I have long term contract with three different cell phone companies.”
“Come on, guy; just play along for old times sake. Remember hope and change? That was fun.”
“Help me! If I don’t fix this, Obama is going to lock me in a room to play with Biden! That guy accidentally crushed his last three puppies!”
“Hey, I never would have done any of this if I had any idea the press would actually question me on it.”
“I was just trying to follow the example from up top: Be corrupt and vindictive. Obama just doesn’t get that sometimes that doesn’t work outside of Chicago.”
“It’s the mustache. It makes me do things. Bad things.”
“If you guys help me here, I can get you what you’ve always wanted: Obama to pat you on the head.”
“I don’t really have any defense for this; could you guys just make up that I said something smart?”
“It’s those thieving libertarians! They truly are the scum of the earth.”
“This isn’t a bribe… but the Mexican drug cartels didn’t want all of their last shipment of assault weapons, so I could fix you guys up with some really good deals.”
“I’m really screwed; are any of you hiring?”
“Nice first amendment you have there… be a pity if someone were to set fire to it, if you know what I mean.”
“Hey, sorry about the spying and stuff. Now watch my back, k?”
“The law is irrelevant. What I’m gonna tell you guys isn’t. Shaddup!…”
“Some of you have been leaking stories. When I find out who it is, Barack and I are gonna put a cap in yo ass!”
Wow! Frank Actually Reads His Own Blog Bacon to Frank J!
http://tinyurl.com/YGDFTYLTATSOTE
“I would have got away with it too if it wasn’t for you meddling kids!”
Since it’s off the record can we consider it a Strategy session to plan how to sell the story to the public for the benefit of Obama?
…hi, guys…I want to remind you that this discussion is off the record…and just to make sure it stays that way, let me introduce a couple of deputy AGs who’ll be working with me on the investigation: this is Muhammad Shabazz on the left, and Shabazz Rahim on the right. They’ve been with me since 2008, when they were really crucial in maintaining voter enthusiasm. Now lemme break it down for you crackas an’ tell y’all how it’s gonna be…
“It’s those thieving libertarians! They truly are the scum of the earth.”
So… We’re all Libertarians now.
Cue the Carpal in 3… 2… 1…
“It’s those thieving libertarians!”
holder’s defense is carpenter made him do it?
“Don’t take it so hard, guys. I’m going to sell pardons to you all before I leave office.”
Holders going to give the all bacon!
…OK, you guys give me a pass on this stuff and I’ll tell you what Obama was doing the night of the uprising in Benghazi…might even tell you what really happened with Bin Laden.
Its being reported that what he actually said was “trust me” to protect the first amendment of the Constitution.
The man who lied to congress, the man who went judge shopping because the first 2 judges said, “Hey wait a minute”. The man who was found in contempt of congress during the Fast and Furious scandal.
It had to be off the record because of all the reporters laughing.