Glow-in-the-dark Batman duct tape:
Perfect for making glow-in-the-dark Batman duct tape wallets:
Archive of entries posted on August 2014
I, For One, Do NOT Welcome Our New Robot Overlords
[High Praise! to Defense One]
Elon Musk Says Robots Could Be More Dangerous Than Nukes
Ya know, I wanted to just quip about paranoid Luddites, but by the time I got to this line, I was starting to give my laptop suspicious glances:
“The AI does not love you, nor does it hate you, but you are made of atoms it can use for something else.”
Also, sometimes I think Obama feels the same way about me (I AM NOT A CRACKPOT!)
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Wisdom of the Day: Babes Mailman Move Water Madness Shirt Police Cops
I leave the Mario Kart time trial screen up on my tv when babes come over so they know exactly what they are getting themselves into
— Cool Eric (@OBiiieeee) August 13, 2014
"Nobody will ever believe you," the mailman whispers as he bites Jak's tail. The poor dog is defenseless from the mailman's vicious attacks.
— Randrew (@ranndrew) August 13, 2014
"DON'T MOVE!" – bank robber or lonely neighbor
— patrick (@tastefactory) August 13, 2014
the average person is 65% water. imagine what she could do with 100%
— kynes (@orangejuice_inc) August 13, 2014
"This is madness!" says the Persian ambassador. "Madness?" I reply "This..is..Berkshire!" I shout, kicking him into a tearoom.
— Joe West (@joejwest) August 13, 2014
What my girlfriend thought, first 4 dates:
1. Nice shirt.
2. Wow. A second nice shirt.
3. Okay, first shirt again.
4. He has two shirts.
— Ristolable (@Ristolable) August 13, 2014
Filming the Police can get you arrested. At least that's what Sting screamed at me in 1985.
— etherbrian (@etherbrian) August 14, 2014
Somewhere in Hollywood, the producers of “Let’s Be Cops” (in theaters now!) are cursing and chucking blunt objects at their TVs.
— daveweigel (@daveweigel) August 14, 2014
Rephrasing That
During an interview on CNN, Nancy Pelosi said that she was told that “Hamas is a humanitarian organization”.
Sure. And bank robbers are just “freelance financiers”.
Obama Warned Us – Upward Mobility
“We want to make sure the young dad on the factory floor has a shot to make it into the corner suite.” — President Obama #WorkplaceFairness
“Where he will be told by the CEO that the company is shutting down because Obamacare bankrupted it.”
Straight Line of the Day: A New Study Shows That Potential Hazardous Side Effects of Using Twitter Include…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
A new study shows that potential hazardous side effects of using Twitter include…
Random Thoughts: Hate, Magnets, and Obama
Can’t all races just come together and hate hipsters or something?
I’m really rooting for Obama to turn things around and become a good president these last two year. It’ll make a great story.
We really should reexamine the idea of letting the government have access to guns.
Let’s not politicize the upcoming election.
I made an unfolded hyperpyramid out of my highly illegal magnet toys.
I have to keep resisting the urge to swallow the tiny, powerful magnets.
Well, I’m not racist, so this sorta sounds like everyone else’s problem.
Thought way to check if mute is on in a conference call is to shout profanities at whoever is speaking, but I guess others do it differently.
Everything a police officer does on duty should be videotaped. And everything a legislator does 24/7.
These police officers seem to have as good a grasp of what’s legal as Obama does of what’s Constitutional.
If we give the government all the guns, money, and power and elect lots of progressives, everything will be okay.
“I want all the worst aspects of George W. Bush, but in a different color.” -2008 voters
I Love My Country More When It Doesn’t Tax Me Blind
In his weekly radio address, President Obama criticized American companies that “are fleeing the country to get out of paying taxes,” calling them “unpatriotic”.
Didn’t George III used to make a similar argument about tea-drinkers?
Seriously, THIS Is the Liberal Argument for Everything
Plan B Can’t Fail!
US Census Bureau foreign trade data shows that in the months since the United States imposed sanctions on Russia, US exports to Russia have risen 17%.
Sanctions aren’t working. Quick! Back them up with a UN Resolution!
I Think They Just Nailed Bacon Heisenberg
From RAML [High Praise! to ]: Man Accused Of Stealing 32 Tons of Bacon
Let’s see if that means the supply of this starts drying up (pic from Anonymiss [High Praise!]):
Link of the Day: Satire – Army Disbands Logistics Corps After Signing Contract With Amazon.com
(Submitted by RAML via The Duffel Blog [High Praise!])
Army Disbands Logistics Corps After Signing Contract With Amazon.com
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Wisdom of the Day: High Azalea Bug Predecessors Change Racist Wallet Invisible Serum
cop: are you high?
me: if i was high could i do this? *vaults over car hood and does 360 no scope*
cop: did you just say "asterisk vaults ov
— yung karen (@haleysfalling) August 12, 2014
iggy azalea makes music for girls who are doing community service for stealing earrings from claires
— dubstep4dads (@dubstep4dads) August 12, 2014
If a coworker tells you they've been sick and you don't reply with "A bug's been going around" you're instantly fired.
— Michael (@Home_Halfway) August 12, 2014
Successful presidents blame their predecessors in Year One. If you're still doing it in Year Six, you've given up.
— Dan McLaughlin (@baseballcrank) August 12, 2014
Coffee to change what I can, and wine to accept what I can't.
— RUTH BUZZI (@Ruth_A_Buzzi) August 12, 2014
It's not racist to ask me if I would like some watermelon but it is racist when you ask and don't have any watermelon
— Sam Ike (@TheSamIke) August 12, 2014
First Date Tip:
1) Wait for check to arrive
2) Insist on paying like a gentleman
3) Lock eyes
4) Slowly open Velcro wallet for 58 minutes
— Glenn Rockowitz (@justaride) August 12, 2014
If I was invisible, I'd find bad mimes and silently beat them to death. Just to give them one final, fantastic performance.
— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) August 12, 2014
Hey man you hear about that new truth serum? Its got everybody talking
— Fashion josh (@verycozy) August 12, 2014
Can’t Beat the Old Ways
Obama Warned Us – Helping Families
“Any time Congress wants to do work with me to help working families, I’m right there.” —President Obama #WorkplaceFairness
“…vacationing at the Vineyard.”