Since the Democrat’s Senate sleepover stunt didn’t achieve anything towards losing the war, the Senate Democrats have some new plans:
IDEAS FOR SENATE DEMOCRAT STUNTS TO LOSE IN IRAQ
* Holding their breaths until we retreat from Iraq.
* Drinking the problem away (Kennedy’s idea).
* Fasting until we flee from Iraq (with only three one-hour breaks from the fast per day).
* Charity car wash to raise money to support more whining about the war.
* Harry Reid will jump seven buses on a motorcycle to end the war (he’ll chicken out; he always does).
* Light a cross on the White House lawn (Byrd’s idea).
* A well choreographed dance number expressing their desire for retreat in Iraq (Edwards’s idea).
Every 10 seconds, a Dem Senator commits suicide until the Republican Senators unanimously agree to pull out the troops.
(And the world will be a much safer place in just over 8 minutes.)
Throw a temper tantrum until the Republicans give in just to stop their crying! (Al Gore’s Idea).
They will sacrifice one of their core beliefs every three hours on an altar hastily constructed from empty microwave popcorn boxes and spent bottles of Johnny Walker Gold. Right now interns are scouring the Senate offices in search of any of these core beliefs. It may take a while. Hold one…
Ski-jumping over a shark tank.
Roller derby!!!
Raise funds for anti-war ads by selling BLT’s at the local mosque.
To obtain a more sympathetic spokesman, buy the rights to Farfour from Hamas.
Break-dance contest!!!
Sponsor a homo-erotic art exhibit. (Hey, even the Dems need to relax once in a while between meaningless stunts.)
Sponsor the national NAMBLA convention. (See above.)
Threaten to keep funding Ron Paul, so he stays in the race indefinitely.
They’ll take a vote. Then after losing the vote, with the help of the willing mainstream media, they’ll pretend that the votes were actually not counted correctly. They’ll demand recount after recount, then hope that the pressure from their media campaign is enough to convince the Republicans to cower to their demands. Why not, it worked for them once before.
“Woman Senators of the Democrat Party” nude dancing competition.
Keep adding pork-barrel spending measures to the war spending bill. Eventually it will collapse under it’s own weight.
Buy lots of “Victory-in-Iraq” offsets from Al Gore.
Wear bomb belts. It works for their radical Muslim allies.
Implement Sharia law. Infidels get stoned. Clearly explain to the liberals that it’s not the type of “stoned” they like.
Have Michael Moore do a documentary.
Unceasing man-on-man lovin until we withdraw from Iraq (Barney Frank’s Idea)
Muslim Prayers before each session of congress until we withdraw (Larry Ellison’s Idea)
“Never give up, never give in” speech until we withdraw by Joe Biden
Turn a congressional page upside down and have him say AH (Jim Webb’s Idea)
Congressional Republicans forced to spend time at the urinal with Hillary being humiliated due to lack of manliness (Hillary Clinton’s Idea)
Redeploy the Senate to Okinawa?
Enjoy some nice Chilean sea bass with some fava beans and a nice chianti?
Go to Burning Man (Hillary’s idea)
Threaten to not bathe until retreat (Edwards)
Additional threat from Kennedy: To drive people around visiting scenic bridges after drinking.
A Yellow Cake Bake sale? Oh, I know – Congressional hair cuts by the Senate to raise environmental consciousness! The clippings will be woven into body armor.