Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
In an effort to lose weight, Chris Christie…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
In an effort to lose weight, Chris Christie…
Moves Reggie Love out the way as catcher.
…would look at a picture of Helen Thomas before sitting down to eat.
… will eat less, exercise more, and continue grovelling on his knees to Obama to save his cushy job in left-wing New Jersey.
… needs to lose some of that Obama-supporting baggage he’s carrying around.
…vowed to only eat foods that began with an A: a pizza, a burger, a plate of ribs, a fried chicken….
…will stop spreading mayonnaise on his bacon triple cheeseburgers.
… will contract out to ****** libertarian thieves to steal the excess weight off of him.
dropped his conservative principles
… will now literally run to the feds for more money, rather than just figuratively.
… will make sure his pride is lo-cal before he swallows any more of it.
… underwent RINOplasty.
In an effort to lose weight, Chris Christie…
…will sign into law new restrictions on what everyone else can eat.
…will change how his scale “defines” pounds.
…Hahaha whose kidding who, he ain’t gonna lose any weight. Suckas!
…will move to the Moon.
…will only eat on alternate weeks.
…will outlaw excess weight in New Jersey. Problem solved.
…will start frequenting Bob Menendez’s hookers.
… will cut out tax raisinettes and goobernatorial speeches.
…will change the state nickname to “The Garden Salad State.”
…will visualize himself as something other than a RINO.
…….will wall paper the kitchen of the governors mansion with pictures of Pelosi, Napolitano and Hitlery with their mouths open. If that doesn’t turn his stomach, there’s no hope for him.
… will cut down on meat-and-potato issues in favor of bipartisanwiches.
…hired Stewie to follow him around playing a tuba.
…put a picture of Helen Thomas on his refrigerator.
@FormerHostage #2, I put a couple out and then see you beat me to one.
…only eat what he can catch.
…take the “C” out of “TRUCK” and the “F” out of “WAY”.
(should be ‘will take’)
…punch hippies, a whole lotta hippies.
…ate the entire DNC. There was nothing of substance to them anyway.
….switch to donuts with holes in them because, hey, there is a hole in this thing, it has to have less calories
Had his weight surgically attached to his republican base.
…now has to compete against Michael Moore for food.
…burped.
…inhaled the U.S. National Helium reserve.
started attending R.O.U.S* Anonymous (*Republicans Of Unusual Size)
… swallows a filled balloon before each meal to feel full.
In an effort to lose weight, Chris Christie…
…swallowed the Democratic agenda, nothing of substance there anyway.
…won’t be submitting any punchlines to the straight line of the day. -No cookies for Chris Christie!
… signed up to appear on The Biggest Loser, XXL Edition.
… signed up to appear on The Biggest Loser, Extra Beefy Edition.
… signed up to appear on The Biggest Loser. Oh, wait, he’s already starred on that…
…is not going to a Olde Country Buffet until Sarah has her baby.
…is surviving on doggie bags of Michael Bloomberg’s leftovers.
…hired the Cleveland PD to find it.
…has been sexting with Hillary Clinton.
…contracted with John McCain to sell his excess skin for the Big Tent Wimpublicans Convention.
…misinterpreted his doctor’s suggestion and had only the skinny members of Bootsy’s Rubber Band over for dinner.
…uses his favorite dieting trick of balancing his chocolate cakes on his nose until the dog barks at him.
only eats every other pizza (but orders them by the dozen)
@7 – Weighty Bacon to can of spam!
http://tinyurl.com/YGDFTYLTATSOTE
start “working out” with Reggie Love
In an effort to lose weight, Chris Christie…
…won’t be telling reporters that irritate him to “GET IN MY BELLY!”
…is on the Creosote diet. -He eats as much as he wants, then finishes off with a wafer-thin mint.
#11 wins!
In an effort to lose weight, Chris Christie…exericised by leaping to the Democrat Party.
In an effort to lose weight, Chris Christie…dumped his credibility and his voter base. It was dragging him down anyway.
….reintroduced ancient Roman vomitoria to the New Jersey governor’s mansion.
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