23 Comments

  1. Remember Frank the poor little guy will be hearing about this for the rest of his life and I’m not sure “stupid baby” is going to endear you to him. He’ll come out when he comes out. Here’s a little tip enjoy Buttercup the next little while because when the new baby comes she’ll stop being “your baby princess” and become an actual big girl child. I cried every time I brought a new baby home because I realized how much bigger the older kids had gotten. It was a surreal moment. Not as surreal as watching your babies become parents to their babies but almost.

  2. On a serious note…German Birthing Cocktail…Google it, trust me on this one…mix it with champagne, you can finish the bottle.

    http://rantsandrecipes.blogspot.com/2009/02/castor-oil-labor-cocktail.html

    Careful, this thing is like pouring gasoline NEAR a fire, eventually the vapors will reach the fire and FLASH! Wife took it, nothing for three hours. Then BOOM! contractions 3-6 minutes apart. That was a fun 30 minute drive to the hospital! 15 minutes after getting there, our third child was ready to begin his life punching hippies!

    Yeah, it is kinda hippie-ish, but I’m a believer. We won’t tell anyone…

  3. Look at you! UGH! Abusing your baby by calling it stupid. What if it comes out differentially abled? Are you going to yell at your wife? Hit her? Beat the kid? I mean, not like you really could tell if the kid was a little slow. It is the product of a rightwingnut after all. So you could give it a chaw of tabaccky and teach it to play banjo jes’ like paw usedta, right? And what kind of big, manly daddy is all hand wringing worried and being too paralyzed to go out and work? Being all self centered and thinking yours is the only kid waiting to be born like you’re Mr. immaculate conception and when it doesn’t get born when you want it you get all yelly and abusive. Typical flatheaded male behavior. Bet your slave-woman wife just loves that. Or she’s been scared into submission and is too afraid to open a mouth and put your knuckle dragging ass in check. Have you tried your little macho yelling trip in front of some of her woman friends? Bet not. They’d either shame you verbally or see to it that you were never able to make another kid. So just go off guzzle some booze and listen to a Limbaugh podcast and back the hell off!

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