If a Democrat is elected president in 2008 and he or she decides to outlaw bacon as a gesture of goodwill to the terrorists who want to kill us, do you think the American public will take it lying down saying, “I guess I can give up bacon if it will prevent war,” or do you think there will be riots in the street? I only ask because, if this happens, I don’t want to be the only one rioting because then I’ll look crazy.
I’m very self-conscious. Especially when rioting.
I normally do not spend the time responding, I just read and kackle. However this one makes my blood run cold. As a Jew I respond
I may not eat bacon, but I’ll defend until death your right to eat bacon!
They can take our lives but
they’ll never take our BAAAACON!
This would create an entire new underground economy. Speakeasy sausage bars. Dealers on street corners selling little baggies of bacon bits. Hog farms hidden away in the woods.
I can see the Democrats liking this idea.
New technology will be needed to hide those hog farms in the woods; otherwise, the smell will give them away.
Also, outlawing hogs will cause economic hardship to the Amish who raise them. How will the Democrats feel about harming a minority who also are godly?
I am fairly certain it would go beyond rioting, Indiana for one would definitely secede before giving up fried pork loin sandwiches!
NO PORK! NO PEACE!
When you riot, be sure to wear a Bacon Ribbon.
Not because this has anything to do with obesity, but because wearable bacon totally kicks ass.
When you riot, be sure to wear a Bacon Ribbon.
Not because this has anything to do with obesity, but because wearable bacon totally kicks ass.
There would be huge rioting in central California by my immediate family.
No PASARAN, Dude!
Would this include outlawing bacon grease? If so, then I’d be taking it to the streets, man! You can’t cook Cajun food without bacon grease.
Just the thought of it makes me want to riot. NOBODY TOUCHES MY BACON!!!!!!!!!!
they can have the bacon… i prefer sausage patties…. nice and think and juicy…
you don’t think they’d want to take our sausage, do you? or pork chops? had pork chops at outback on thursday after seeing the new potter movie… ummmm… pork chops. and that outback marmalade sauce is quite delicious…
it would probably piss them off that i had a glass of wine with that, huh? though probably not as bad as it would piss off my old school baptist grandmother… please don’t tell her…
so… yeah. they can have the bacon, but the rest of the pig is just way too yummy…
they can have the bacon… i prefer sausage patties…. nice and think and juicy…
you don’t think they’d want to take our sausage, do you? or pork chops? had pork chops at outback on thursday after seeing the new potter movie… ummmm… pork chops. and that outback marmalade sauce is quite delicious…
it would probably piss them off that i had a glass of wine with that, huh? though probably not as bad as it would piss off my old school baptist grandmother… please don’t tell her…
so… yeah. they can have the bacon, but the rest of the pig is just way too yummy…
They can have my bacon when they pry it from my cold, dead, (greasy) fingers!
Bacon they can have. Talk about banning pulled pork and it’s WAR!
Shane, shane, shane! THAT’S how it starts; first the bacon then the pork rinds. Next, they say “Why do we need sausage when it kills so many?” What’s next after that??? Pork loin? Pork chops? Dear God Man! Wake up! Smell the Bacon and pick up a spatula and defend our right to bask in the aroma of sizzling heaven. Take to the streets with the shield of honor called a bacon press and the weapon of righteousness called an iron skillet! March on for the BLT!!!
If they outlaw bacon. Then only outlaws will have bacon. Let me know when the riot starts, I need some new Nike’s and a big screen TV.
Don’t worry, when the New Prohibition comes, you can rely on Canada. Instead of rum running, we’ll have bacon running.
http://thecanadianencyclopedia.com/index.cfm?PgNm=TCE&Params=A1ARTA0006515
“A dramatic aspect of the prohibition era was rum running. By constitutional amendment, the US was under even stricter prohibition than was Canada from 1920 to 1933: the manufacture, sale, and transportation of all beer, wines, and spirits were forbidden there. Liquor legally produced in or imported into Canada was exported legally under Canadian law to its “dry” neighbour. SMUGGLING, often accompanied by violence, erupted in border areas and along the coastlines. Cartoons showed leaky maps of Canada with Uncle Sam attempting to stem the alcoholic tide.”
Note the photo on this webpage: “Blind Pig Raided”.
I will slay the anti-bacon infidels…
Pigs will fly before I give up bacon!!
Pigs will fly before I give up bacon!!
Bacon is good. Those who will not partake of bacon, are evil.
Maybe it’s the saltiness, or maybe it’s that luxurious pork flavor, or maybe it’s the way it crunches when you eat it (preferably dipped in maple syrup), but bacon is one of the greatest meals God has bequeathed us, aside from the body of Christ.
Bacon also is a principle ingredient of two of the greatest hamburgers created by modern fast food chains, namely, the Wendy’s Big Bacon Classic, and the Jack in the Box Sourdough Jack. Neither of these would be the same without the bacon.
Furthermore, what’s the reason the haaji’s give for not eating pork? Have they not had pork chops ever? God DAMN, pork chops rule!
All that aside, I’ll make a promise, this promise right now. I’ll eschew eating porcine flesh, if the haaji’s promise to stop cutting off the heads of westerners. I really will.
Ba-KAAAAAHHHHNNN
//If they outlaw bacon. Then only outlaws will have bacon.//
Dammit, hwy93! I was gonna say that! LOL! Oh well, how ’bout this:
Bacon doesn’t kill people; PBA’s kill people.
I think the bacon ban will be only be the first step in the left’s pork conspiracy, which will fly in the face of the Mexicans & Scottish Americans. A life without menudo or haggis?!?
NEVER!!!
I’m with you Frank
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Crispy Bacon day.
Brilliant, Bob R! Best posting I’ve seen on any site in a long time. ROTFLMAO! If they ban bacon, I can assure you that my 9-year-old daughter will be leading the riots.
First it’ll be the bacon, the next thing you know they’ll want all us gals to be wearing bedsheets all over our heads. I say give me bacon or give me death.
Frank,
I think the magic number of rioters you are looking for is “3”. This was established by Arlo Guthrie way back when. If you riot by yourself you will look crazy. If you riot with one other guy they will think you are queer. But if you get two more guys to riot with you it is a movement. Now how does that go again… You can get anything you want at Alice’s restuarant, except bacon.
I’m Azorean Portuguese so that means two things:
(1) they can’t have my linguica!
(2) Antes Morrer Livres Que Em Paz Sujeitos (“Rather die free than peacefully subjected”)!!!
dontcha worry Frank, we’ll riot together.
there’ll be bats and bricks, too. hehehe…
CRY HAVOC AND LET SLIP THE PIGS OF WAR!!!!
First they came for the bacon and I did not speak out because I did not eat bacon.
Then they came for the sausage and I did not speak out because I did not eat sausage.
Then they came for the picnic ham and I did not speak out because I did not eat picnic ham.
Then they came for BBQ ribs and there was no one left to speak out for BBQ ribs.
This cannot happen! The line is to be drawn in the sand!! Bacon now, Bacon tomorrow, Bacon forever!
Life without bacon is not worth living. Outlawing bacon is definitely something that requires rioting.
The Tree of Liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the flesh of pigs and the grease of Bacon!
“…from my cold, dead hands!”
I’ll riot with you Frank. If they make inroads against bacon, it’s only a matter of time before they come after pepperoni, and pizza without pepperoni is a crime. I will be obliged to hijack a nuke.
“Combat cold cuts!!!” (Name that movie!) 🙂
Have you any idea how very disturbing that sounds?
I BELIEVE IT WAS WINSTON CHURCHILL WHO SAID
“IF THEY ATTEMPT TO BAN BACON, WE WILL RIOT ON THE BEACHES, WE WILL RIOT IN THE FIELDS, WE WILL RIOT IN THE STREETS, WE WILL RIOT [ESPECIALLY] IN THE MOSQUES, WE WILL NEVER SURRENDER.”