Since I’m stuck on a boat with the lovely, though talkative (very very talkative), SarahK, and have nothing to do, I figured I would host the Carnival of Comedy this week. I may have cruising on the brain due to the surroundings, but in going through the submissions this week it struck me that they fall into categories that closely parallel the characters of the 1970s show the Love Boat. So, without further ado, let the carnival begin!
Carnival, exciting and new
Come aboard. We’re expecting you.
Carnival, life’s sweetest reward.
Like a turd, it floats back to you.
The Carnival soon will be making another run
The Carnival promises something for everyone
Set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance.
And laughs won’t hurt anymore
It’s an open smile on a friendly shore.
Yes CARNIVAL!
Welcome aboard
It’s CARNIVAL! (hey-ah!)
–Bartender Isaac Washington–
The entries in this first group are like the ship’s bartender Isaac. Friend to all, Isaac is funny and funky, and there is no better person on the ship to pass time with in a drunken stupor. So sit back on the Aloha Deck with a Mai Tai served in a coconut and meander through these links . . .
a4g at Point Five presents The Brokeback Mountain Happy Meal
Damian G. at Conservathink presents Iranian President bans Western music; cites “phat beats” as evidence of vast Zionist conspiracy. [the headline made me LOL, which isn’t easy]
Tommy at Striving For Average presents Connect the Dots– Fun with screencaps–a clever framing device.
Sean Gleeson at Sean Gleeson presents Chat with the Holiday Moonbat
bob at either orr opens up old moonbat wounds with Bush wins Heisman, Dean cries foul
Peace Moonbeam at The Peace Moonbeam Chronicles presents a touching xmas tale Not So Silent Night
Peakah at Peakah’s Provocations… presents The ‘Hands-On’ Governor
Mr. Right at The Right Place presents Captions Outrageous! Winners [Heaven Must Be Missing an Angel Edition]
Rachel at Gall & Wormwood presents Twas The Night Before Katrina
Damian G. at Conservathink presents Dr. Germ and Mrs. Anthrax to wed in quiet civil ceremony.
–Yeoman-Purser Burl ‘Gopher’ Smith–
This group of links, like Gopher, are pleasant but ultimately kind of stupid. You’ll have fun looking through them, but you’ll likely forget what you read 5 milliseconds after hitting the ‘back” button.
Josh at Multiple Mentality presents Check under the couch cushions
Steve at Irritation Station presents T’was the Night Before Christmas 2005 Edition
Chris at Dimmer Switch presents Deck The Roads
–Doctor Adam Bricker–
These links–actually this one link since no other one fit in this category–reflect the personality of ship physician and resident syphilis patient “Doc”. Doc inexplicably gets a lot of action, and you’ll look back fondly on your visit with him until the burning urination begins.
Grouchy Old Cripple at Grouchy Old Cripple presents a Christmas cartoon
–Captain Merrill Stubing–
These links, like Captain Stubing, are competent but dry and a little dull. If you think watching paint dry is a gas, you may like some of these submissions.
Buckley F. Williams at The Nose On Your Face presents TNOYF’s Guide To Dealing With Your Family During Christmas: Part I
Sinner at 7 Deadly Sins presents Envy: Clever
Lyn at Bloggin’ Outloud presents Humor Assignment: Stupid Iranian Tricks
Hoodlumman at File it Under presents 7 Tips for Holiday Cheer
Adam Graham at <a http://www.adamsweb.us/blog/”>Adam’s Blog presents Celebrating Xmas on the Wrong Date
FIAR at Radioactive Liberty presents Election, What Election
–Cruise Director Julie McCoy–
If there is one thing that cruise director Julie knows, it is blow, and these links BLOW.
David at Pererro presents Reviewing
200motels at Let’s Get Something Straight Between Us! presents O BEER-O MIO!
Todd at Beat The Punsmith! presents Feingold Frags Foot at Fishing Junket!, and presents a post, which i suppose, sucks more than blows Hooverian Highjinks?
Anyway, that is all the links for this week. Happy sailing, I’ve got to go put salve on my open sores. And if I happened to hurt your feelings, please send angry emails and death threats to frankj@imao.us.
Nice, Frank.
Shouldn’t that post read something like,
Adam Graham at Adam’s Blog presents Celebrating Xmas on the wrong day?
I only recommended the poem “Twas The Night Before Katrina”. I did not write it and am not from Gall and Wormwood. It should read Aelfheld from Gall and Wormwood.
Please fix that!
You know, the rss feed still fingers you as kevinr. You’re gonna have to fix that if you really want to become frankj. You should thank me I didn’t ruin your cruise caper right away. I was on to you then.
No, no, no, no, no. Keep Rachel’s name on Twas The Night Before Katrina. Let someone else take the blame.
I had forgotten just how much I hate Julie McCoy.
“Like a turd, it floats back to you.” (?!)
Reading this while drinking coffee was hazardous to my keyboard. Why can’t I write stuff this funny?
Thanks and Merry Christmas!
Peace
Congrats Frank and Sarah! Lots of kids and guns to ya!
raising a tall glass of eggnog severely spiked with Jameson
…and a MERRY CHRISTMAS to ya!
Success at last! I’m always reaching for new lows.