A recent Pew survey shows that only 25 out of 47 countries queried have a favorable opinion of the US, so it’s time once again for another round of “why do they hate us?” from the hand-wringing mouth-breathers of the left. And of course, the drool-cupped, short-bus-riding Marxists will flap their arms like demented penguins and screech that it’s because we’re a bunch of Muslim-killing war-mongers.
Idiots.
Offing terrorists is a FEATURE, not a bug. If some people can’t appreciate that – like the filthy, baby-killing Palestinian orcs who gave Osama bin Laden a 57% favorable rating – I can only assume it’s because they’re a degenerate pestilence masquerading as human beings as they squat in their third-world rat holes.
Or French.
Whichever.
Still, I’m open-minded enough to admit that there MIGHT be other reasons that people might have for hating America besides the usual excuses of being afflicted with spongiform encephalopathy or Islam.
Like these:
- Pauly Shore.
- The phrase “Hey! It’s our old friend Smilin’ Bob!”
- Everything Paris Hilton has ever done except THE VIDEO, and probably that, too.
- Cancelling Firefly.
- The middle of “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End”.
- “To continue in Spanish, press 2”.
- Being so confusingly similar in appearance to harmless Canadians.
- The permanent scarring from the Bill-Monica-cigar mental image.
- Fran Drescher’s voice.
- 20 years of letting the Olsen twins put their ugly, troll-doll faces in front of the camera.
- Every Ron Popeil product and their respective commercials.
- Not going all the way to Baghdad in ’91.
- The lines at Disney World.
- That New Jersey smell.
- Ronald McDonald, Michael Jackson, and other creepy guys who wear make-up and want to be around children.
- Political humor blogs that inexplicably start posting Simpsons Trivia questions EVERY SINGLE DAY for months.
- Ewoks, Jar-Jar, Midi-chlorians – pretty much everything George Lucas did after 1980.
- Plus the Star Wars Holiday Special
- Minus the Robot Chicken Star Wars Special
- Self-righteous hippies who visit your country and tell you how delightful your government is, and you can’t argue with them for fear of being thrown into a dark, roach-infested cell and randomly tortured for the next 20 years by said government.
- Heelys kids at the mall.
- Not picking a better name for the Global War on Terror, like “Islamofascist Kill-a-Palooza Fest”
- Not rebuilding the Twin Towers at Ground Zero EXACTLY as they were.
- Or maybe even just a little taller.
- Scary, scary freedom.
Of course, everyone knows the REAL reason they hate us:
Thompson envy.
I think you mean “Navel-Gazing”.
“Naval-Gazing” means “staring at the Navy”.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Anyway, you spelled “spongiform encephalopathy” and “degenerate pestilence masquerading” correctly, so I’m sure it was just a typo.
I would like to remind you that a substantial portion of those harmless Canadians speak french.
Remarkably good list
Thankfully, Fred Thompson is powerful enough to counter all of those and many more.
(Although, Firefly being canceled still really pisses me off….)
Sometimes I cry when I see my Firefly dvds and realise there is no more 🙁
If they hate us so, why are all the t-shirts in English?
Keep Flying.
You left out THE #1 reason to hate us, and that is, quite simply, RAP MUSIC.
There was a time when America gave the world Elvis, muscle cars, cheeseburgers, and great war and sci-fi flicks where we were always the victorious good guys. We showed the world the good life. The promise of America.
Now Hollywood tears America down every chance it gets, cars are the enemy of mankind, Americans are a nation of selfish gluttons, and it’s all set to a mind-numbing beat designed to appeal to the lowest class among us. Everything is ghettofied – every commercial, every ballgame, every soundtrack. We ALL da niggaz now.
And this is what goes out. It’s not just white kids in Duluth, it’s white kids in Denmark, yellow kids in Japan, brown kids in India. You think it’s nauseating seeing white kids commit cultural suicide acting like Homey here in America? What do you think parents’ reactions in the Muslim world are like?
Does anyone remember the reaction of Anwar Sadat’s widow when she learned Lou Gossett Jr. would be playing him in the biopic? She flipped. Why isn’t diplomacy working anywhere for the US? You think the rest of the world (outside perhaps Africa) takes a black woman seriously?
Hey, Condi’s a brilliant lady, but I’m sorry, that’s the world we live in. And whereas in the past foreigners might emulate John Wayne or Mickey Mantle or (God forbid) Elvis Presley, now they want to be Fitty Cent. A bitch slappin’, crotch grabbing, gun-toting, in-your-face thug. Just great.
It’s the worst pollution we put out, and confirmation of everything that’s wrong with America, and you better believe they hate us for it.
I agree…Rap Music is our national nightmare! It should be banned! I will vote for any political type that promises to rid us of this blight!
“* Cancelling Firefly.”
I don’t know about the rest of the world, but that alone was enough to make me hate Hollywood
* Cancelling Firefly.
Word.
Have to agree with bunkerboy on some of what he said. For example, McDonalds and other fast food places used to run commercials appealing to middle-class families. Apparently, these days urban youth are the preferred clientelle at every major fast food chain.
If you listen to Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton, young blacks have no chance of making a good living. If that’s true, why does every corporation now pander to a group that has no money to spend?
You can do better than that, Harvey. Watch:
filthy, rocket-launching, sewer-swimming, car-swarming, ululating, greenhouse-smashing, breathes can’t-build-a-house-in-60-years, parasitic, barely-sapient, baby-killing “Palestinean“ orcs.
There, see? Much closer to the truth.
I stand corrected 🙂
Webster’s says it’s “-ian”, “Palestinian” terror-tantrum-throwing crybaby biggest losers of all time…
Three other reasoon folks hate the U.S.A
Mr. T
Chuck Norris
the ‘stash
Ceann Rua,
To quote Dan Quayle, “Get up there an add an ‘E’ to the end of that.”
The ‘stachE.
I just want to reiterate one of my favorite Fred Thompson Facts: the terrorists hate us for our Fred Thompson.
Also, concur on the rap music. The only good hip-hop is the “nerdcore” kind (Frontalot FTW!).
I think that a lot of countries hate us as a change of pace from hating Israel.
As I’ve asked any number of snooty Europeans:
As I see it, there are two kinds of Euros. There are the ones whose ancestors were oppressing mine, and there are the ones whose ancestors were being oppressed like mine, but didn’t have the gumption to emigrate to the United States. Which kind are you?
fair play DesertElephant, my bad.(bad typing day all around )
Rap-a-lap-a-dap, Ron Paul! Fo’shizzle.
Paul Simon sang: If you took all Ron Pauls and Einsteins braincells – And put them all together for one night – You would get quantum moonbatery – And his campaign would take flight. Sorry, everydayjoe got me off subject.