PREVIOUSLY ON IN MY WORLD
“You haven’t been listening to the generals!” Harry Reid shouted at President Bush. “Iraq is just like Vietnam! You must withdraw troops now or we’re doomed! Dooooomed!”
TODAY ON IN MY WORLD
“You need to stop listening to the generals!” Harry Reid shouted at President Bush. “And Iraq will not be like Vietnam, so don’t worry about withdrawing the troops now! Now! Before we’re doomed! Doooomed!”

“Rarr! I hate you Democrats!” Bush yelled. “The only thing doomed is your election prospects if we succeed in Iraq! But you won’t live that long!” Bush hit the trapdoor button and the floor fell out from underneath Harry Reid. “Muh ha ha ha ha!” Bush walked to the edge of the trapdoor. “Now you die!”
“Um… could you not drop your Democrats on me?” called a voice up from below.
“What? I thought there was supposed a lion or a rancor down there?”
“No, just Bob from accounting. This is my office and I have lots of paperwork to do.”
“I just assumed when the contractors came in and installed the trapdoor, they’d put a pit with deadly beast below it.”
“I never heard of that. My office has always been below yours.”
Bush stamped his foot in frustration. “Well… uh… could you kill Harry Reid?”
“What? I don’t…”
“Just pick up a stapler and staple him to death or something.”
“That’s… that’s really not in my job description. Anyway, he’s gotten up and walked out already.”
“This was supposed to be a pit of death! What use is a pit of accounting?” Bush thought for a moment. “I guess if someone came to me with an accounting question, I could send him through the trapdoor to you.”
“The person would fall right on my desk; I don’t think either of us would like that.”
“Details. Hey, could you push the trapdoor closed from down there.”
Bob got on his desk and pushed the flap back in place.
“Thanks!” Bush sat back at his desk and Tony Snow came in the room. “What’s up, Snowman? Hey, did you know there isn’t a pit of death under my office?”
Tony paused for a moment. “I’m not sure how to respond to that, sir.”
Bush’s hand hovered over the trapdoor button. “So, do you have an accounting question?”
“I’m going to say ‘No.’ I’m here to tell you that I’m going to be retiring from the job of White House Press Secretary. With all the stress and the toll on my health, this job has made me yearn for the simple, blissful days when I had cancer.”
Bush was sad for a moment, but then a thought struck him. “Hey! Maybe that hot chick can fill in for you again!”
Tony sighed. “I’m glad you’re excited. Anyway, I just wanted to give you notice.”
Bush nodded. “Hey, before you go, what’s six times thirteen?”
“Huh?”
“Kinda a tough math question.” Bush’s hand hovered over the trap door button. “Maybe one for an accountant.”
“It’s seventy-eight.”
Bush groaned in anger.
“I’m just going to leave now.”
After Tony Snow left, Chuck Hagel walked into the office. “We had scheduled a meeting about–”
Bush hit the trap door button and Hagel plummeted down. “Ahh! My back!”
“Hey! I’m trying to work down here!”