Tonight Obama is going to be on TV talking; it must be a Tuesday!
Actually, tonight is the State of the Union address which is supposed to be special or something but can we really pretend Obama talking is going to be of any actual interest. I’m certainly not going to watch it; I mean no one pays me to do this so I don’t see the point. Also, they’re doing this weird thing where the Republicans and Democrats are all sitting together and are getting gay married afterwards or something.
And is Obama going to actually say anything interesting? What the country needs is trillions in cuts — including to entitlements — but is the guy who’s spent trillions and enacted giant new government programs going to talk about that? No instead, he’ll be like, “Everything is great! And soon we’ll finally be able to get you all those unicorns I promised!” But truth is, we can’t even afford donkey-corns right now — a much cheaper horned animal made by splicing the DNA of donkeys and rhinoceroses.
So that means it’s going to be up to the Republican response by Paul Ryan to provide any substance. I recommend he start by saying, “Look at the person to your left and the person to your right. DEAD! Now look at all your possessions. GONE! This is what Dumbo with his fancy pants and his $80 tie won’t tell you, but we’re doomed, people! I want you to take a look at our debt.” Then Paul Ryan will hold up an graph of the debt and shout, “LOOK AT IT!”
And everyone will be like, “No! Please don’t make us look at it!”
And Paul Ryan will be like, “No! Look at it and despair!”
And then everyone will be crying, “Please save us from it! Please!”
And Paul Ryan will say, “Okay. But only one thing can save us… GIANT ROBOTS!” Then Paul Ryan will hold up a diagram of the robots and they will be awesome looking. “Giant robots will solve all our problems. For one, they’ll cancel out all our debt because we’ll be able to go to China and say, ‘How about in payment for our debt, we agree not to ROCKET PUNCH YOU!'”
And everyone will be cheering, “GIANT ROBOTS! GIANT ROBOTS!” And Obama will run and hide leaving the Republicans in charge.
I keep telling everybody that giant robots are the solution to everything. You just need to bring me on as a consultant; I have lots of drawings of what they will look like.
You speak of giant robots as if they’re some big secret, but honestly, we’ve known what giant robots have looked like for almost 40 years.
You mean the big get-together where all the RINO’s are going to sit with the communists that have spent the past two years destroying our country?
Everything I need to know about life I learned from watching Gigantor.
Ooops, forgot the link
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gigantor
It’s Tuesday… I like you.
The State of the Union is Tonight?
There is no need for this speech as we all know the “State of the Union”.
Its a mess and everyone knows it.
The almighty Obama Lama Ding Dong could just say, “..the country is a mess and its all the fault of George W. Bush..” and then Glenn Beck, and Sarah ‘1/2 term’ Palin, and Ron Paul, and the Tea People, and all the Liberals will all agree. Problems soved. Speech over. Turn off the TV its all Bush’s Fault.
And of course they (the Tea People and the Libs) should discuss how George W. Bush blew the entire Clinton Budget Surplus of 1,000 Gazzillion Trazillion Billion dollars to get Saddam because he said means things about his daddy who raised taxes, blah, blah, blah, ect.
If we could all just HATE 1 guy (like Saddam) again, let it be BUSH, and then maybe just maybe someone could find me a damned job! I haven’t worked since our Savior thee Obama Lama arrived in DC.
Great idea. Sitting side by side with the idiots that have been trying to destroy America for 60 – 100 years. Even if I didn’t get deathly ill listening to that one talk, the site of everyone sitting around waiting to sing kumbiya together would probably put me in my grave.
Even if someone paid me to watch, I’d have to pass.
I think there might be some like totally gay sex going on between Democrats and RINO’s! I hope they don’t move the camera around too much! If Lindsay Graham is sitting next to Barney Frank…it could be MTV rated!
Can robots solve all of our problems? Voltron as a healthcare provider. I am willing to try it out.
15 years from now when social security checks start bouncing and your parents are moving into your home and you pick up a new hobby as a “long term care provider” (old a** washer). Just remember there was 2 moments where things like moving the retirement age by 2-3 years and allowing some people to opt out etc.. and could have kept these retirement entitlements as mostly solvent. That both times the democrats totally shutdown reform and blamed it on republicans.
during Bush 2nd term
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mqSXsNJzRM
Tonight when Obama could save social security by making some unpleasant but not to painful adjustments today. but instead the left will destroy Paul Ryan and then cheer themselves. Just remember when you are washing crusty diarrhea from your own 80 year old mothers naked ass in your shower at 10pm after you finally got home from a long day at work to compensate for a massively devalued dollar and double current tax rates.
Social security is like the lefts greatest triumph and they are driving it off a cliff while republicans push the unpopular thing to try and save it. Just remember this was those peoples money that they paid in every pay check of their lives that they wont be getting back.
Hows all that free healthcare and welfare for illegals sound when old people who paid into the system their whole lives are eating dog food?
Tonight is that night where I sit watching the television, growling and yelling “I hate you all so much!” every fifteen seconds.
Speaking of Obama and stupid people, the following quote comes from a high school economics course:
Emphasis mine.
Yeah, it ought to be a complete “grope fest” with Rep’s and Dem’s sitting next to each other groping for the true meaning of the moment.
Like exactly how far away IS national bankruptcy? State and municipal bankruptcies?
Also, I’m hoping for a complete teleprompter meltdown.
But there’s no way on God’s green Earth that I’ll deliberately watch that lying môfô ever again.
There’s about as much of a chance of Obama saying something of substance at the SOTU as there is of Sheila Jackson Lee wearing a dark brown suit.
shiggz said:
15 years from now when social security checks start bouncing and your parents are….
First of all, 15 years from now there will be no Social Security Checks to bounce, and my parents (if still alive) will probably flee with me (to Mexico or Canada) or we will all die defending our lands from the invading hordes of starving city dwellers (aka democrat voters with no social security checks).
The fact is that its too far gone to save. And I’m not mad or bitter. This is just what happens to anti-christian libertarian civilizations. I suggest you develop a exit strategy too. I already have purchased properties outside of this doomed land and hope to leave before Obama is re-elected.
Give it 10 years and you’ll get that Border Fence! But it won’t be used to keep Mexicans out. The guns will be pointed into America to keep us in. I plan on leaving before that happens.
Yeah, who gives a crap about some Obama speech. More importantly, tonight at nine #12 Purdue plays at #1 Ohio State. Now that should be something worth watching.
And so help me, if ESPN preempts even one second of the game to show something from the SOTU, I cannot be held responsible for my actions.
Go Boilermakers!
I think the Republicans have a plan for the SOTU. The word on the street is (or would be if enough people would repeat my comments) that the Republicans plan to put whoopee cushions in the seats of the Democrats when they stand to cheer assaults on our Republic.
And all these years I thought unicorns were these things that old people grew on their feet that hurt, not rainbow farting horses with pointy heads.
“My devoted Psycophants, your Dear Leader declares that the SOTU is well. I have swindled the Chinese out of taking back their Pandas for 5 more years! Oh, the Chinese will be taking over our Federal Reserve Banks as a conditon of our retaining their Pandas. I for one welcome our new Chines Overlords. That is all.”
actually the “People of Tea” should read ROMANS 13 to the entire Nation as a response to Obama’s speech.
Then Glenn Beck (since he imagines himself a prophet) should lead the nation in a Prayer for our President asking everyone to pray for our beleaguered and belittled leader.
Also Sarah “1/2 term” Palin (since she is such a big christian) should ask the country to “Render therefore to all their dues” to the Governement (or to pay your taxes) because of the financial crisis we are experiencing. Thats what it says in the Bible.
IF they were Christians that is what they would do!
and thats a pretty big IF!
We can’t even get donkey-corns? That cuts it!
I understand that Japanese Biting Monkeys are to be released among the Republicans after 4 minutes of the SOTU liefest… er, speech.
I think it should go something like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqfSub088jE
Ryan: What are you doing to yourself?
Congress: We can’t stop! Everybody’s already used to the entitlements!
Ryan: You can’t keep this up! Don’t you know what’s going to happen? Every time you add a new entitlement, the national debt’s going to get bigger and bigger and bigger!
Congress: Oh that’s an old wives tale!
Ryan: Is it? Look at this graph.
Congress (in horror): What is that?!?
Ryan: Look at it! LOOK AT IT!!!
Maybe the Japanese biting monkey will attack all the Liberals and RINOs…could we possibly get giant robot monkeys that bite? that would be awesome
Got news for you, Carpernter. It was a Republican Congress budget surplus.
Adobe Walls touched on something I’ve been wondering for a few days: will the Republicans be expected to stand up along with their Democrat dates at each of the applause breaks? I mean, in the spirit of cooperation and new-toneness? And by the way, is it the Rs or the Ds who are expected to buy the corsages?
there was no surplus Jimmy. That myth is long dead…..
unless your a Bush hating Libertarian. If so that lie is holy scripture right out
of the Kook Ron Paul Bible.
Here is how that shell game was played.
The government borrowed money from Social Security and then claimed that
the borrowed money was “income” and then said there was a surplus.
The so-called SURPLUS was based on projections based on false assumptions
based on INCOME that didn’t exist.
Gi-GAN-tor! Gi-GA–A–AN-tor! Thanks, Veeshir. Now I can’t get that out of my head.
Heh, It’s been running through my head all day too and I haven’t seen it since I was probably about 8 or 9. GiiiiiiigannnnnnnnnnTOR!
Marko
Tonight is that night where I sit watching the television, growling and yelling “I hate you all so much!” every fifteen seconds
I call that “Football”.
Of course, I’m a Giants fan.
I won’t be watching the SOTU. Tomorrow with my coffee I’ll read Vodkapundit’s drunkblogging. That’s the only way I’ll have anything to do with the SOTU.
Me, too on Gigantor song…”he is the mighty robot…”
Actually, I’d have to say it was a pretty good speech – if anyone else had given it. (Studying Reagan must have helped.) Nancy wasn’t leaping to her feet behind obies left shoulder every time he stopped for breath, which lent a certain touch of decorum to the proceedings, and the longest, and only bi-partisan standing ovations I noticed were when he praised our troops, which is as it should be. Tomorrow, of course, I’ll listen to Rush to learn what I should have thought of it.
Disappointed that not one Republican had the courage to wear an “I’m with stupid” T-shirt while sitting next to his Democratic ‘buddy’ during the SOTU address.